#just putting them all into one post because why not

[yourlocalangeldoll]

*ੈ Dom, Sub or switch? / Squid game

characters: Gyeong su / player 256, Thanos / Player 230, Nam Gyu / Player 124, Hyun ju / Player 120, Kang Dae ho / Player 388, Jun ho

a/n: last post before short hiatus 🎀 Trust me y’all will be FED whne i come back. Gyeong su and Thanos are lowk half assed because i wrote them both TWICE than tumblr glitched and got rid of it.

cw: 18+!, mdni, light smut, nsfw talk obviously, degradation, spit, hand kink mention, nsfw link, pegging mention, handjobs, toys mention, overstimulation, restraints, mentions of surgeries(not in an nsfw way), only proofread once.

*ੈ Gyeong su / Player 256

*ੈ 100% a switch. When he’s dom he is ALWAYS a softdom but still a freak. KING of body worship when he’s both subbing and domming. He NEEDS to be physically close to you at all the time but ESPECIALLY when subbing. Doggy position while you peg him will just not work, even prone position is pushing it. Peg him in missionary and he’ll cum in a matter of seconds. When subbing he’s all whiny ‘n needy. More of a handjob than blowjob guy. Get’s sooo subby when you’re giving him a handjob.

- . . Gyeong su’s body is leaning into yours. Your own body behind his while he’s practically wrapped in your arms that were brought around and tugging on his cock. Your neck covered in tears and saliva where his head was hidden. Body shaking from your continued stimulation on his spent cock from his previous orgasm just seconds ago. “Come on, you can give me one more right?” You pout. Your words earned a whine from him in response but a nod nevertheless, his body relaxing further into yours. “Good boy,” You praise while placing a soft kiss to the top of his head, smirk on your face while you sped up your hand on his cock, feeling his cock twitch at your words. . . -

*ੈ Thanos / Player 230

*ੈ Dom obviously. Being a sub is practically unheard of with Thanos. He’s the one doing all the work most of the time. He’s such a good mix between hard and soft dom. He fucks ‘n pleasures you like he hates your guts but then is all soft when talking, still filthy but his words softer. And don’t get me started on of he’s the one to take your virginity. But don’t let that fool you, if you’ve annoyed him and gotten on his nerves a little too much he will not hesitate to put your back in your place. In the rare instance he does Sub it’s most likely because he fucked up and you aren’t getting over it easily or you’ve begged him a lot.

- . . Rough groans escaped Thano’s lips. Your hand working fast on his cock but stopping before he could release. His hands tied behind the chair lazily along with his ankles to the feet’s of the chair. He couldn’t help the pathetic groans that escaped him when you halted your movements again, head thrown back frustratedly. “You’re such a dick, i don’t even know why i’m still with you.” You complain, focusing more on letting all your frustrations out in words instead of his dick, much to his dismay. Thano’s was only half listening, knowing your words were nothing but frustration. But one thing he caught onto -“Can’t even get out of some lazy restraints.”- made him struggle to restrain the smirk that formed on his face, knowing damn well he could snap out of the restraints if he wanted, hell he practically holding them together. But he’d let you believe anything if it means his girl isn’t upset with him anymore. . . -

*ੈ Nam Gyu / Player 124

*ੈ Hard dom, is that really surprising? He’d be so mean and you’d absolutely lovee it. He is SO into humiliating you and gets off on you crying big time. spit spitting spit. He’d have a field day if you have a hand kink because his hands are SCRUMPTIOUS and he knows it 😮‍💨 I feel like despite being such an ass if it’s your first time or maybe not in the mood to be too rough he’d be completely fine with going softer but that’s not typically the mood with him. He’d either fuck you rough and fast as fuck or still rough but deep af thrusts. You’d swear he’s trying to push past your cervix or sum. He’d force you into such awkward positions that aren’t typically the norm. Some positions like corkscrew, prone or sideways 69. He LOVES to fuck you in the ‘Butter Churner’ position.

- . . You’re back’s straining from the position your boyfriend managed to convince you to get into. But god did you feel fucking amazing. The cool surface of the wooden floor was a stark contrast to the warmth and sweat on your body. Nam Gyu was nice enough to help you by holding your ankles in his hands. But his pace was unrelenting and had your back getting littered with light scratches with each jolt of your back against the wood. “So fucking easy to use, like a sex doll.” He’d say while spitting down on you, laughing as your face contorts in disgust as his spit lands right on your eye. . . -

*ੈ Hyun ju / Player 120

*ੈ Soft dom of course !! i really can’t see her as a sub tbh. She’d be so sweet, whispering praises while she fucks you with her fingers. She’d even gently brush your hair out from your face while placing a soft kiss to your cheek 💞💞. I do feel like she’d use toys.. nothing too crazy. Either has a wand or rabbit vibrator and a single dildo, pretty simple ‘n vanilla. She is SO talented with her fingers and mouth. I imagine if she hasn’t had all her surgeries yet she’d be a little less inclined to be naked herself. Controversial take but i don’t think she’d fuck you if she hasn’t had bottom surgery yet.. it’s just hard to imagine.. i mean she doesn’t even like people staring at her.

- . . You’re laying on your back, body comfy on the bed while you made out with Hyun ju. What started as a relatively innocent movie night taking a slight turn as Hyun ju’s hand made way past the band of your pj and panties and started rubbing soft, experienced circles on your clit. Just hard enough to have your thighs closing around her hand. The two of you’s tongue ‘fighting’ for dominance as her hand made way further down. A gasp escaping your lips once one of her fingers pushed past your folds and into you. Hyun ju just chuckled slightly, wrapping arm around your back and up, gently brushing hair out of your face. Her words gentle while you hid your head into her chest. “So pretty f’me.” . . -

*ੈ Kang Dae ho / Player 388

*ੈ Switch. I feel like if he’s domming or subbing would mostly be up to his partner. He doesn’t care much if he’s sub or dom because it feels good all the same 🤷‍♀️ The only time he’ll be overly rough with you is if you’re being a biggg fucking brat or you ask him to. Bro is a SUCKER for missionary. It’s just such an intimate position and he THRIVES of intimacy. He loves to be comforted ‘n praised ‘n all that so PLEASE do. I said this before here, but he’d either be constantly praising you while you ride him -which is also one of his favourite positions- or staring up at you in admiration. the second king of body worship hello?? Is that even really surprising?? Like Gyeong su he craves being physically close to you, during and not during sex. He’s vocal and IS NOT ashamed of it. He hates when you hide your own sounds aswell… doing that is one way ticket to either getting your hands tied to the headboard or his fingers shoved in your mouth ‘n keeping your mouth widee open. Y’all can and will do some of the filthiest shit together but it somehow still feels so intimate. If he’s subbing then he’s not too different.. but definitely more vocal, desperate ‘n whiny. There is SO much more i wanna say about my man but i’ll hold off for now..

- . . All you could feel was Dae ho’s hands roaming your body, his sloppy kisses to your neck, and the fast pace of his cock ramming in and out of your pussy. The only sounds in the rooms were your moans, the forgotten movie, wet sounds of skin slapping against skin and Dae ho’s own grunts ‘n moans. Your nails clawed at his bare back- sure to leave marks tomorrow for him to explain if anyone manages to see. “Shit.. you feel so good.” He groans into your neck, pulling away just enough to litter kisses to your face. “Look so pretty too.. can’t believe how lucky i am.” He says through kisses, hands coming up to squeeze your chest through your bra. “I love every part of you, you know that right?” And what you say in response doesn’t matter to him, because he’ll be rambling on about each part of your body and how he loves it. . . -

*ੈ Jun ho

*ੈ i feel like he’d be a mix between soft dom and hard dom. Sometimes you guys would fuck all slow ‘n lovey dovey, Jun ho whispering praises in your ears. While other times he’d be using you like a ragdoll and either saying nothing or saying light degrades(i don’t see him being too mean tbh just a bit more rough.) He’d hold your body up with ease and fuck you fast while you’re practically crying from overstimulation- having came from both his tongue and fingers. And he’d do nun but whisper soft degrades in your ear and tease you. Even when he’s soft he’d tease you A LOT. The only difference is that when y’all are soft the teasing is more playful. When you guys finally stop he is SUCH a gentleman and king at aftercare.

- . . “Please- too much Jun ho! too much-“ You’re crying out while Jun ho holds you by your arms. His cock going in and out of you at an almost dizzying pace. Despite the overstimulation your poor pussy is feeling it clenches around his cock at the chuckle that escapes his lips. His body moving forward, abdomen filling the arch of your back while his arm moved to wrap around your waist. His breath hot against the shell of your ear while he spoke. “Come on baby, i know you can last more than three rounds. If not then you shouldn’t have been such a fucking brat. Now quiet down and take it, i don’t want to hear any more complaining.” . . -

⟡ ݁₊ . written by yourlocalangel, 2025 on tumblr! © do not repost on any third party website or repost as yours. Doing so will result in me blocking you and reporting.

[threeacttragedy]

Entry 18: The One Where Two Roads Diverged in a Wood of GIFs and Written Words

“Lukola Crisis Hotline. How may I be of service?”

Me: Houston, we have a problem.

Dad: Do tell!

Me: You won’t believe who showed up last night! –

Dad: Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! Whoa! I don’t know what to say! Wait – let me grab my Coke and my smokes. <waiting> Okay, I’m back. So, Misty appeared out of nowhere with Thang?! Well, this just got fun! <laughing>

For clarity’s sake, my father tends to give everyone a pet name. Some of the pet names are funny; some are quite cruel. But if they help him remember who the players are in this fandom (and in any other situation), I’m game to play along. Plus, his pet names tend to add a little comedy relief to whatever is being discussed, especially when it is not an outwardly funny subject.

In Lukola-Land, Luke is “Thang” (it’s actually “Thing” – as in the hand from The Addams Family – but my dad’s accent muddles the pronunciation into “Thang”); Nicola is “Ireland,” for obvious reasons; Antonia is “Misty,” for, umm, the Clint Eastwood movie, “Play Misty for Me;” and Jake is – well, Jake is actually just “Jake” because my father finds the USS Jakola offensive. In fact, when I was discussing the recent fandom events with him on Friday evening, my dad was genuinely shocked to learn the Jakolas still existed. His pet name for the Jakolas is “Fucking Stupid,” by the way.

Moving on to the matter at hand –

There’s been so much “noise” over the past few weeks that, when taken collectively, it is rather eye-opening. We’ve got Luke’s mother posting on Facebook about “Luke’s girlfriend…from Cyprus.” The leaked funeral video and photos (by allegedly Luke’s family). The Best in Show pap pictures of Nicola and Jake. The “just friends” interview. The disappearance of Jake (because he’s rehearsing for a play) and the sudden reemergence of Antonia.

If you’ve noticed from my recent entries on this blog, I have obviously found most of what has happened of late to be comical and not worth putting into written word. Instead, my thoughts have been dumped into GIF stories. To be honest, I was rather disappointed I couldn’t put this last part – Antonia emerging from the misty edges of the forest – entirely into a GIF story. Her reappearance was like a certain Bond villain coming back to life for the seventh time. In other words, it was total cringe. But it also altered an otherwise slow burning campfire into a motherfucking forest fire.

Me: Thoughts?

Dad: I need some time to think about this one – and a cigarette. Or two. Call me back in 15 minutes.

“Psychotic Fan Rescue Center, at your service.”

Me: You’re a dumbass.

Dad: <laughing> Well, this is insane. It makes no sense and it’s a convoluted mess. Why bring Misty back? She was killed off two seasons ago.

Me: No shit, Sherlock.

Dad: Hell, maybe this has all been a nest of vipers.

A nest of vipers? Ah, yes, the idea that we have a group of venomous snakes thrown into the same close-quartered trench – in an every-man-for-himself type situation – each taking strikes at the others whenever their backs are turned.

In Entries 1, 13, and 15 – with an emphasis on “Entry 13: The One Where the Ashes Blew Towards Us with the Salt Wind from the Sea” – I wrote about what the Lutonia narrative could look like, if real. I will not rehash in detail those entries here, but I will link them at the end of this entry if you want to read, or reread, them.

Now, the General Audience almost certainly didn’t pay a lick of attention to Antonia when she appeared alongside Luke at the Boss event held January 30 (she’s always just been a Face in the Crowd). But the sudden reappearance of Antonia stopped the Lukolas dead in their tracks because – like my dad said – she was seemingly killed off two seasons ago.

The Lukolas have suddenly found themselves at an intersection of confusion and, likely, a bit of distress. The long and winding road we’ve been traveling along has diverged into two paths – and, no, you cannot travel both.

The problem with the Lutonia narrative has always been that Luke has never formally acknowledged Antonia as his girlfriend. In fact, Luke had the perfect opportunity to do so when he posted about the Boss event on his Instagram grid – but he did not. I could rationalize the idea that Luke and Antonia wanted to keep their relationship private after the Papsmear misstep if it weren’t for the fact that Antonia has been historically loud in her social media posts. We spent the summer and fall with insinuation post after insinuation post from Antonia. Yes, all those posts that alluded to her being with Luke without any actual evidence that she was, in fact, with Luke. By the time Antonia got to “Pasta-gate” in mid-November, the Lukola fandom barely even blinked before dismissing her as, well, the antagonist from “Play Misty for Me.” And this leads to something even more problematic for the USS Lutonia – Luke has never rescued Antonia from being ridiculed and torn apart by the fandom. My dad would call – and has called – Luke a cad for this.

Jumping to the other side of this misshapen triangle, we have Nicola and her Assassin (my dad’s pet name for JVN). Assuming Lutonia is real, the only logical answer for Nicola’s behavior is that she has spent months trolling Luke, Antonia, and <gasp> the fandom. Nicola herself has admitted to being chronically online and, at a minimum, being aware of fan edits – so much so that during the London premiere she commented that she and Luke “can’t do anything” without the fandom reacting to it. Therefore, I will call “foul” on anyone who tries to persuade me that Nicola was unaware of, at a minimum, how the Lukola fandom had reacted to the Claddagh ring, Chaos Week, and the October airplane posts. JVN openly mocking Antonia on social media with, for example, their Slick Back Bun routine only added fuel to this fire.

For shits and giggles – and so I can get to the bend in this road – we will roll with my dad’s “Nest of Vipers” theory for a moment. We will concede that Lutonia is real, which, in my opinion, makes Luke the absolute worst boyfriend in London and Antonia a woman who doesn’t mind being treated like roadkill. It also, unfortunately, makes Nicola and Fan Favorite JVN come off like online bullies – with the only plausible reasoning for the bullying being that Luke and Nicola are at odds with each other. No, I take that back – they’re not at odds with each other – they’re seemingly at war with each other. I’ll even amp this up a bit and throw in the suggestion that, assuming Lutonia is real, Netflix & Co. is aware of the strife between its two Polin actors and are protecting their asset with blurred Polin-Lukola posts to pacify the fandom. Dun-Dun-DUNN! And yes! That was a sly nod to Jake.

Me: Thanks for that. You just made Luke into an absolute prick and gave Antonia’s starring role in “Play Misty for Me” to Nicola.

Dad: Hey, I’m not the one who dug up Misty! That was all Thang!

Me: Then why does everyone say Luke is the nicest person? Nicola, his co-stars –  

Dad: All lies.

Me: Would you STOP?!

Dad: But I’m serious! Thang could be a complete pig behind closed doors and Ireland could be on the verge of a psychotic meltdown because, uhh, maybe she’s obsessed with Thang and pissed he chose Misty.

The unfortunate thing about this Nest of Vipers theory is that I could almost certainly make a convincing argument that it was legit. I’ve always joked with my Inner Circle of Lukolas that no one wants to see me go rogue, especially not – I’ll bite my tongue on that one. But I will emphasize the importance of keeping an open mind when you’re reviewing information. Always consider both sides of the coin. That said, it’s hard to ignore the evidence that was presented to us through the World Tour interviews and behind-the-scenes footage; therefore –

Me: I’m having a hard time believing Luke is someone who wouldn’t protect his girlfriend. He seems to support Nicola online quite a bit. Why wouldn’t he do the same for Antonia?

Dad: <laughing> Fine. Antonia isn’t his girlfriend. Maybe it’s all just a bunch of fuckery like I’ve always said.

“Fuckery” is my dad’s pet name for PR bullshit. If you didn’t pick up on it in previous entries, I am not fond of PR theories. But I also cannot ignore that PR relationships do exist and have for decades (hell, we could go back centuries and find examples of PR relationships across multiple noble and royal families – think about that, naysayers). It was my dad who first sold me on the possibility of Antonia being PR. So, I will consider this road to PR-ville in the same manner as I did the Nest of Vipers theory – with this PR theory having perhaps the better claim.

I mentioned earlier that the General Audience almost certainly paid little attention to Antonia’s existence at the Boss event. Although some people may find what I’m about to say a bit unkind, it doesn’t make it any less valid (and I’m not saying it to be cruel): Antonia, in the overall scheme of things, is of very little importance to the General Audience. She has less than 15 thousand followers on Instagram, even after being connected to a man who has almost three million. However, oddly enough, that didn’t prevent the Daily Mail from dropping a story which predominantly focused on Antonia within the same timeframe that images from the Boss event were being dropped on the Internet. It also didn’t prevent video footage of Luke and Antonia at the Boss event from being leaked online almost immediately – even when there were undoubtedly more famous celebrities attending the event. I’ll be realistic with this next comment, too: Luke may be relevant to the Bridgerton fandom, but that does not mean he is significant to, say, People Magazine’s average reader. So, why the sudden burst of publicity at this event?

I waited to write this entry to see what Luke did with the exposure from the Boss event. Would he finally put Antonia on his Instagram grid? Would he put her in his Instagram stories? Would Antonia post pictures from the event on her Instagram grid or stories? Would Luke unambiguously acknowledge a relationship with Antonia?

Although Luke posted to his Instagram grid and stories about the event, he did not include Antonia – at least not directly. The closest he came to including Antonia was via an Instagram story – on which he did not tag her – of a black screen with a link to a Boss TikTok that included images of Luke and Antonia from the event. The TikTok did not tag Antonia either. Luke did not post Antonia’s image to his grid or his stories.

And Antonia didn’t post about the event at all.

I wasn’t sold on a PR narrative when I started writing this entry, but my eyebrows raised when I saw Luke’s “black screen” Instagram story. This was either Luke attempting to circumvent the Lutonia narrative while throwing Antonia a bone, or it was Luke being an absolute douche of a human being. And, if it’s the latter, Mr. Newton needs to check himself into Assholes Anonymous.

I will concede that a couple of mutuals put up a few stories about the event (which disappeared after 24 hours) and Boss included (and tagged) Luke and Antonia in an Instagram and TikTok reel – without formally identifying Antonia as Luke’s girlfriend. On a side note, Luke could have reposted either of these reels – which tagged Antonia – but he did not. Luke also did not like this Boss Instagram reel with Antonia in it (and he does not have a public TikTok account), but Luke did like a separate Boss post of him and David Beckham (without Antonia). The only news outlets that called Antonia Luke’s “girlfriend” were rag-mags like the Daily Mail and Hello, both of which put an emphasis on Antonia. Digital Spy noted that Luke and Antonia “have yet to officially confirm their relationship.” So outside of some tagged reels (that weren’t reposted or acknowledged by Luke) and rag-mag speculation, what did Antonia get from this?

Dad: Publicity.

A single word but one that resonates throughout an otherwise silent wood.

But to be honest, I’m not entirely convinced this was for publicity. I’m not saying I believe Antonia is Luke’s girlfriend either – that’s a whole cauldron of contradictions on its own. I’m simply intrigued that Antonia has her Instagram tags turned off and she has not yet allowed any Boss event tags to appear on her page. So, outside of some junky rag-mag callouts and a few TikToks, what benefit did Antonia receive? And, if Antonia didn’t truly benefit from this appearance (or, at least she doesn’t appear to be reaping the rewards from a girlfriend or PR standpoint), who did benefit?

I mentioned at the beginning of this post that a series of events had happened one after the other over a relatively short two-week period: (1) Luke’s mum mentioning “Luke’s girlfriend…from Cyprus” in a Facebook response; (2) leaked video and photos of Luke from a funeral; (3) those utterly ridiculous pap pictures of Nicola and Jake; (4) Nicola stating she and Luke were “just friends” in an interview; and (5) the sudden summoning of Antonia after exactly six months of being MIA.

As I sat here writing out the events of the past two weeks – and considering the reappearance of Antonia – I couldn’t help but speculate as to whether each of these events was meant to have a specific purpose that didn’t get its desired result.

The comment by Luke’s mother was so far out in left field, most Lukolas chucked it up to being suspicious and dismissed it as such. The funeral pictures and video released by one of Luke’s family members was quickly scrubbed from social media; therefore, just as quickly ignored. The pap pictures of Nicola and Jake were openly mocked across social media as being staged. The “just friends” comment – after almost a year of, particularly, Nicola dodging that phrase – didn’t seem to send many Lukolas overboard. Is it possible that the fandom’s mild reaction to all these events wasn’t anticipated? Which leads me to wonder if Luke and Nicola wanted a reaction and realized the only way they were going to get it was to play the only card they had left – Antonia.  

When you look at the above referenced events individually and collectively, they appear to indicate a push to shut down the Lukola narrative. Why?

They could have shut down the Lukolas before the World Tour even took off. They could have shut down the Lukolas during the World Tour. They could have shut down the Lukolas after Papsmear. Why wait almost a full year to draw the line in the sand? Especially after every devoted Lukola would argue that (mostly) Nicola has left a trail of Swiftie-like clues to insinuate Lukola is real, and that Luke has made a visible effort to remove Antonia from his narrative.

Whatever the reasoning may be, we must admit Antonia’s reappearance had a purpose – and one that we need to respect. I have a hard time believing Luke would voluntarily step in the same pile of dog shit he stepped in back in June without a valid and significant reason for doing so.

And this is where I will draw the line.

I will not speculate further about why Antonia suddenly rose from the ashes of Manderley – and I will not tell you which road to take from here. That’s something you need to do on your own but, be warned that regardless of which road you choose – the one where you conclude Luke and Antonia are a couple, or the one where you decide Antonia is playing the role of PR distraction – the Lukolas are currently fighting a losing battle.

The Lukolas have become collateral damage. They’ve either been caught in the crossfire of an online war between Luke and Nicola (and their respective sidekicks) over, presumably, Antonia; or they’re the unwitting victims of some messy PR bullshit that has resulted in Lukolas being bullied across every social media platform by rabid Jakolas and Anti-Lukes.

Amazingly, though, many Lukolas remain resilient.

When the going gets tough…

But sometimes the tough don’t get going.

Yesterday, someone wrote to me, “Why are we still here? Just when we think something good is finally going to happen we get pushed back down. I’m tired of the dumb games.”

I rarely answer “Asks,” but my response to this comment is:

“Two roads diverged in a wood…”

Two roads.

One road is quite disheartening and the other is shrouded in underbrush.

But what you've overlooked is that there is an alternate path – a third road – the one that brought you to this point.

Turn around.

That road takes you back home – and, if you’re ready to go home, go home. It’s okay. It takes an unbelievable amount of courage to admit you’ve had enough. Remember that saying – “A wise woman once said, ‘fuck this shit,’ and she lived happily ever after.”

Take your time and decide what makes the most sense to you.

Dad: What are you thinking?

Me: Of a poem.

Dad: Oh, which one today?

Me: “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by…”

Dad: Which road is that…?

P.S. Just for a bit of comic relief at the end of an otherwise somber post (not even Dad could make it lighthearted), I just wanted to say:

I love eating grapes.

IYKYK.

Those links I promised:

[asksonicverse]

You dont need to answer but I just wanted to tell you I adore Paradox being like "I hate all of them except" and then listing everyone except like 2 guys, honey you don't hate *all* of them you expressly don't hate *most of them*

Extremely charming characterization i adore it

[Creator Special number 2!]

So glad someone noticed that, I was originally going to have him name EVERYONE except Boost but then I was like “nah, Mania is just too annoying for Paradox to tolerate him”

And thanks! I’m trying to be… consistent with my characterization of each of them and stay in line with canon but like… URGH sometimes I want to deviate so bad just to indulge but I resist!

Needless to say tho, prism is probably going to get more affectionate later on. Rewatched Sonic Prime again and bro is a cutie patootie!

Headcanons… headcanons… hmm

Well, starting with the obvious, Paradox goes to therapy as I’ve mentioned which I think is hilarious. He and Lance are the only Shadows who really have their shit together which is why I think Sonadow works well for them? (we stan healthy relationships guys)

I do head canon that Eight doesn’t like being touched really at all anymore. After the metal virus, he grew so used to the fact that he couldn’t touch anyone that it sorta just stuck. He does it to save people, but not anything more. :(

And while I’m a sucker for the Trans Sonic HC I decided not to implement it in this particular AU!

I really want to include Captain Sonic and Shadow, but I haven’t played nor watched a serious play through of the game. (I’ve only really listened to a bit of the Snapcube dub..)

can someone tell me if Shadow is a Barista or a Mechanic in that game btw?? I google it, nothing pops up. I could’ve sworn there was something about a mechanic.

Uhh I LOVE Sonic Frontiers, fire game. If I include that one, it’ll ALSO be Sonamy since I’m pretty sure that game takes place before SA2 in canon?

I’m trying to keep the Sonics and Shadows balanced but I’d love to add Generations Shadow and Sonic. Just thinking of names already I get “Doom” for Shadow and “Emerald” for Sonic. (Referencing the fake emerald from their interaction in the shadow story)

Unfortunately I haven’t seen the Archie comics or Sonic Underground so I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

Someone also asked about if I’d ever include different AU’s: maybe if those AU creators gave me permission I’d be down to do a collab for a few asks or something!

Nope!

I dunno I just..! … how do I do? I’m fast. And you’re slow. That’s how I did it. /ref

Ahahah just kidding! But I am very fast. A few years ago I convinced myself I was a “slow drawer” because I was in a discord server with someone I looked up to (and holy cheese they could draw out fully articulate sketches in like 30 seconds!)

So I got insecure and taught myself to draw really fast. So now I just.. zoom! This does have a terrible draw back where I will very frequently forget smaller details.

Like if you look at half the posts, Shadow is missing his eyeliner and other markings frequently.

THIS IS JUST HILARIOUS TO ME YOU GUYS. PLEASE—

I’ve gotten SO many asks in my box about using Maria to calm the Shadows down or trying to give Shadows “Maria plushies”

Imagine you’re having a bad day and you get a plushie of your dead sibling thrown at you??? LMFAOOOO

I CANT I CANT I CANT PUT THEM THROUGH THAT 💔 Also I see every single ask.

“Do you all like Latinas” and “sonic which shadow is the hottest/shadow which sonic is the hottest” have all been engraved in my brain

Was joking with a friend on how that second question would come out LMFAOO

Previous | Next

[babyangelsky]

I love that Phu was wearing his teddy bear pajamas when he got blown by Cir

And I love it specifically because it flies in the face of a rather unfortunate trend that's always been present but that has been on my mind a lot lately.

A couple of months ago, I came across a post that referred to Teerak from Your Sky as "basically a child" and went in on the show for portraying him in any sort of sexual light and then went in on Muenfah and criticized him for wanting to do anything remotely sexual with Teerak and just—

No. NO. NO!

Listen, I don't give a fuck how someone interprets a character even if I disagree on every possible level. Art is subjective. How someone sees the art they consume and what they get out of it is none of my fucking business.

But there's this awful tendency to conflate cuteness with immaturity and to infantilize any character that exhibits any traits or preferences that can be read as cute. Hell, sometimes even a character's appearance is all it takes for them to be infantilized.

And it's always the same shit. If a character is shy, soft-spoken, bubbly, cheerful, or sweet, they're seen as a child. If they have plushies and enjoy lots of color, they're seen as a child. Act cute? Child. Like cute things? Child. Shorter than their love interest? Child. Younger than their love interest? Child.

Fucking STOP.

The person who made the post I referred to used a screenshot of Teerak hugging his Snoopy plush to somehow justify their interpretation and you know what? LIKING PLUSHIES AND CUTE THINGS DOES NOT MAKE SOMEONE """"BASICALLY A CHILD"""".

Whether or not a character (or a real actual person) likes cute things or happens to be sweet and soft-spoken and shy has nothing to do with how mature they are and it certainly says nothing about their sexuality and sexual desires. I turn 31 years old in just over a week and there are plushies on my bed. I put hearts all over my blog. Liking cute things just means you like cute things! That's all!

Teerak is adorable and colorful and sweet, and he's also a young man who's deliriously in love and HORNY for his boyfriend. He ALWAYS wanted to fuck that man and if he hesitated at first, it was due only to his lack of experience. Nothing else.

Which is partly why this scene:

Was so fucking great to watch. Not just because Teerak wanted to fuck his boyfriend and made his intent crystal clear and took the initiative, but because he was allowed to by the story. @iguessitsjustme wrote a great post about it, go give it a read.

More and more we're seeing BL's where both characters (THE CUTE ONES INCLUDED) are allowed and shown to want each other sexually and it's been amazing to see. Mutual horniness will never not be amazing to see.

Allll of that is why I love that Phukan was in his teddy bear pajamas in his love scene with Cir. Because like Teerak, Phukan is exactly the type of character that gets infantilized and that people get all pearl-clutchy about when he's portrayed doing anything sexual.

Phu is adorable and colorful and he likes being babied and he collects those cute little trinket things I can't remember the name of and he ALSO REALLY WANTS TO FUCK CIRRUS. To quote @poetry-protest-pornography , he was an active and enthusiastic participant in his first blowjob and that's exactly as it should be regardless of what he's wearing or what he likes! He's a full person with a functioning libido and I'm so happy and grateful that the story isn't infantilizing him.

TL;DR, some of ya'll have got to let go of the notion that a character being/acting cute and them experiencing sexual desire are mutually exclusive.

[fromthemouthofkings]

Yeah, man. That's exactly why I said, "Why did these institutions collectively fail?" in my post. Because I'm not interested in examining the failures of the system in power.

Okay, I'm sorry for being sarcastic. These past two weeks have been a lot, haven't they? I know that I've been glued to my phone, refreshing and refreshing the news, just waiting to hear the next horrible thing that's coming to hurt me and my loved ones and the people I serve and care about. It's easy to lash out, easy to feel powerless and overwhelmed in the face of all of that. But we always have the power to choose how we act. We don't always have good information, or good choices put in front of us, but we always have the power—and the responsibility—to choose how we act.

Right now, I work at a public library. I have the power and access to help a lot of people—a lot of whom voted against my continued existence, just because they were promised cheaper eggs. I'm thinking about how best to protect all of them, how to get them better information, how to give them better choices so that they can be empowered to help the people around them. So those with access and choices that I can't reach, can make use of them to change things. To slow down this shit-avalance. To protect the people that still can be saved. To make different choices next time.

Institutions are fundamentally just people. They shape people and they are shaped by people. I don't have a lot of influence over the world, but I'm going to use what I have to do what I can. I think that's the most anybody can do. Do you want to join me?

Gotta admit the headline is a banger.

[bvidzsoo]

Through your colours

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: artist!Kim Hongjoong x barista!reader

੭ Warning: recreational drug use (weed), alcohol consumption, swearing ੭ Word count: 11k ੭ Rating: nc-17 ੭ Genre: fluff, angst-ish, slice of life, strangers to lovers, a hint of simp Joong? post university setting ੭ Summary: A broke barista and a broke artist meet in a student infested dingy pub, what do they have in common? The desire to make something great of themselves, to live a fulfilled life. But first impressions can go wrong, deterring people from each other. You're probably lucky that's not how your story with Hongjoong goes, though.

A/N: Hello, hello, my lovelies! I present you another story that was supposed to be a drabble but instead turned into...a smaller oneshot?? I consider anything that's below 15k a drabble because my oneshots just go over 20k all the time, save me! This idea came on a random whim while my pinterest suggested three photos lol, and it took me some time to write it, but it's here at last. Your feedback is greatly appreciated, let me know what you thought of this little story, and I hope you enjoy it! divider

            Gustav Klimt had once, sometime during the nineteenth century, stated that, “Art is a line around your thoughts”. This could be interpreted many ways, of course, but for an artist it was just as plain and simple as Mr Klimt had said. Whatever was on your mind, you could give it life by putting it on a piece of paper by the brush of ink and feather against the parchment, or by the swift twist of one’s wrist as their brush coloured their canvas. Art comes in many forms, many thoughts, and many interpretations. After all, everyone relates to it based by their own experiences, based on the emotions they feel and have felt before…and overall, their capacity of seeing beyond what’s shoved in front of their eyes. Maybe that’s why Hongjoong would stare at a painting or picture for hours on end without growing tired. He liked to see everything, he wanted to understand every stroke of brush, or why the lightning fell in that specific way on the item in the picture. Hongjoong wanted to feel the same emotions the author of the creation had felt while creating their piece. It helped him draw inspiration, expand his horizons towards new possibilities. Hongjoong liked new challenges as long as they were about his art. In life, he preferred the steady and sure lifestyle, the one that was predictable enough that it wouldn’t send him into an existential crisis over the smallest inconvenience.

Hongjoong needed order in his life since his art was all over the place, judged by many and often misunderstood. He didn’t paint just for the fun of it, sure, there were passion projects he started on a whim without much of a goal in mind, and usually those were well received by his professors, by his colleagues. But whenever Hongjoong wanted to say something through his art, he’d get scrutinized for it. He yet had to find that one person that saw beyond what others called a mess. He’s never thrived for attention or validation, but it had gotten lonely after a while when he realised nobody really understood him. He felt like he was the odd one even in a crowd full of odd people. He’d always been different, more open-minded and receptive to the changes in the world, and he’d always been judged for it. Here, instead of being frowned upon due to his character, he was sometimes ignored because his art was either dull or not good enough. Nobody seemed to understand that art is relative and subjective, that whatever lay on the canvas made by Hongjoong was his and would always be. That he had dipped his brush into a touch of colour from his soul, displaying it for the world to see on the once blank canvas. He became vulnerable for them and yet nobody had appreciated it yet. And so, Hongjoong got used to not being seen for his art, but for who he was.

Quirky with questionable fashion taste to many, bold because he wasn’t afraid to try out new styles—much like with his paintings—and intimidating because no matter how many times he tried out something new, he’d instantly make it his, owning whatever concept he had in mind. Hongjoong knew not everyone was against him out there, but it was easy to fall hostage to such thoughts when he was alone. It would make sense for an artist to have a mind clouded by questions and rarely answers, a mind that worked too fast and yet never good enough. Doubts and fears pulling one down, Hongjoong loved expressing it through his paintings, his hand nothing but a guide to the brush clutched tightly between his fingers, calling out to him even when he chose to step away. Hongjoong was in it for life, and he wondered whether the weeping willow tree by the river bank in his framed painting was a premonition for how his life would look like.

            The bar was busy like every other night in this student-infested town. It wasn’t even a surprise anymore, you should have known better than to wear your boots with high heels. There were no seconds to waste and even less time for breaks between preparing drinks, cleaning the bar, and running around the room to clean the tables too. Nobody wanted their hands sticky because someone had previously spilt their drink, and you were more than ready to clock out for the night. The only problem was, however, that you still had three hours left of your shift. You sighed as you averted your eyes from the clock, realising you hadn’t started preparing the drink the drunk college student had asked for on the other side of the bar. His eyes were glossy and he was swaying in his spot, you debated filling his cup with water rather than Vodka, but you couldn’t risk getting a complaint since your boss was a stinky little fucker. Your hands worked fast, and years spent doing this kind of work were showing as you did a few tricks, hoping you’d get a nice tip. You doubted the college guy would leave a huge tip, if anything at all, but at least you tried. It was all about trying in places like this one. Trying to stay calm when a customer was rude, trying to remain sane when night after night the DJ played the same playlist for the drunken students, trying to smile and hide the fact that you hated when these frat boys flirted with you. And also try and hide the fact that you were fed up with people, and needed at least a month away from civilisation.

But if one wanted to achieve something in life, one had to work for it to happen since it wouldn’t fall from the sky. Going abroad and starting a new life over there wasn’t for free, and it especially wouldn’t happen overnight. You were well aware of that, that’s why you were working day and night, taking up shifts that were probably too long to be healthy. But the dream you had in mind demanded such sacrifices, and if it meant working hard right now for a comfortable life in the future, you were willing to spend your nights sleepless and surrounded by annoying college students. You had been like them once, after all, but that was a few years ago, and since then, the harsh reality has awoken you. What was the purpose of a degree you couldn’t do anything with? Yeah, you could’ve laughed at yourself, but then it would soon turn into hysterical crying and you weren’t strong enough to deal with such emotions. You’ve cried enough, it was time you took action now. You sighed as another rush of bodies crowded the bar, asking for shots and long cocktails. You weren’t a fancy place by any means, but you served the usual sweet cocktails that could be found in every other place. Your hands worked fast as you catered to everyone’s likes, your coworker, Hanni, was somewhere lost between the students as she had gone to clean up the tables. And even in your rush, it seemed like you couldn’t satisfy everyone. It shouldn’t have phased you, but you’ve had a rough day today.

“Hey, babe, think you could work those hands faster, maybe?” You ignored the question and smiled as a group of girls paid for their pink cocktails, leaving a bigger tip than most men would. You felt grateful and felt your smile turn genuine when the tallest in the group winked at you before they became part of the rowdy crowd again. Then, you could face your impatient customer. He didn’t look like a student, way too old to be in a crowd filled with students, but who were you to judge? Some people go to college at a later age, maybe he wanted to get the full student experience. Although, you doubted a thirty-year-old had anything in common with young adults on the brink of maturing, if they managed to mature during their upper-level study days.

“What can I get for you?” Your voice was raised since the music was booming, and unfortunately, you also had to lean over the counter to hear the man better. For some reason, that made the man smirk as he leaned forward as well, eyeing you up as if you were a piece of meat. You ignored it as your teeth ground together, you’ve seen men like him before, he wasn’t the first to act like this and you knew he wouldn’t be the last one either.

“How about…you, sugar?” Your expression didn’t budge as his smirk became shit eating as if he had accomplished anything by saying that. You waited, without blinking or reacting to what he’s said, hoping he’d catch on that he wasn’t hilarious nor flirty.

“Don’t we all wish to have a piece of the pretty barista?” That managed to throw you off as your head whipped to the side, eyebrows furrowing as you just now noticed the newcomer. He was…well, something else for sure. He wore no casual or ordinary clothes, nothing you could compare to the annoying frat boys or just the other dudes with a regular fashion sense. His hair was dark but it looked a little fried, as if it had been bleached already one too many times before. His white blouse was loose and tucked in at the waist, his black pants wide and reaching below his ankles. A thick belt was secured around the guy’s petit waist, and if you looked harder, you swore you could see a dark blue bow tied to it. His brown vest seemed to elevate the outfit even more, the pleated brown choker sitting at the base of his throat with a few other silver chains, a ruby pendant hitting his pecks as he was leaning against the counter lazily. His hip was jutted out and his painted nails tapped against the side of his head, cat-like eyes blinking slowly as he watched you. The hat he wore looked something like you’ve only seen in Peaky Blinders, and for a second, you almost chuckled. He looked peculiar but not in a negative sense, it’s just that you haven’t seen someone like him stumble inside the pub before. He didn’t seem to belong with the crowd and that would’ve been something you’d appreciate on any other day than today.

“I don’t think we were talking to you, no?” The cocky man in front of you raised a mocking eyebrow at the other guy, and you rolled your eyes for a second. But before you could answer, the other guy did for you.

“You threatened my game is better than yours?” The artsy-looking guy asked with a chuckle, his tone was more on the higher side, and you found yourself not irked by it too much. But you weren’t here to have men measure their cocks by who can get the barista’s phone number faster, so you interrupted them before they could piss you off even more.

“Listen, fellas, I don’t have all night. What do you want?” Your tone was sharp, straight to the point, and shut down all attempts at flirting as the man in front of you scoffed, shooting a dirty look at the peculiar-looking one. You tilted your head as the older man finally faced you, trying to downplay his irritation as he plastered on a charming smile again. It made your jaw tick again, but you said nothing more.

“Do you have whiskey?” You were already reaching for the bottle of Whiskey before the man was finished talking, your other hand grabbing a glass as Hanni finally returned to the bar, her tray filled with dirty glasses.

“I’ll just wash these and come help.” She said as she passed by you and you nodded, filling the man’s glass with ice and whiskey, not too much but not too little either. Who even drinks Whiskey in a place like this one? But you didn’t care as long as he’d be out of your hair, so you placed the glass on the counter, but before you could tell the guy how much it was, he had already slid a bill on the counter, sauntering away. You grabbed it and pushed it into your fanny pack, taking a step back to take a deep breath. You could do this, Hanni was back and maybe you could ask her to cover for you for five minutes. A bathroom break was allowed at any time, after all. Your small moment, however, was interrupted by a scoff. You blinked your eyes open and looked towards where the sound came from, eyes narrowing when you realised the other guy was still lingering around.

“What a pig, he didn’t even tip you.” You had to agree with his slurred words but instead walked over with an impassive expression. You weren’t here to be nice or to make friends, and you never failed to make it clear to your customers. These entitled dudes thought they could get your number and get in your pants with just a few—fake—nice words, you could confidently say you hated them all and that they made you wish you never again encountered their species. But alas, that wouldn’t happen tonight, so you headed over to the pompous guy, raising an eyebrow. He was intriguing, you couldn’t deny that, but you also knew not to mingle with guys who frequented the pub. So, even if one sparked your interest, at the end of the day, you’d still walk home alone and relish in the quiet of your room.

“What can I get for you?” You tried to keep your tone level as your hip pressed into the counter, feet aching now even more. You were ready to chuck your damn boots at the wall and call it a night, but as Hanni flashed you her typical sweet smile, you knew you couldn’t leave her alone in the wolf's den. She was too sweet and too naïve, smiling and laughing along to the shitty jokes of the frat boys who were eyeing her up with little regard for the fact that she was visibly uncomfortable.

“Something sweet like you.” You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, telling yourself to keep your cool. He wasn’t saying anything offensive, unlike many other men, he just kept calling you sweet and pretty. That could be considered even nice, but not tonight.

“The menu is literally behind me, you can choose anything from it.” You pointed a finger behind yourself, where you knew the menu was hung high on the wall so that everyone could see it. The peculiar guy just gave you a look of confusion before looking past you, blinking his eyes lazily once again. You tapped your fingers against the counter, waiting for his choice, glad that you could take a breather now that nobody was crowding to get their drinks refilled. Hanni whizzed past you when she noticed a smaller group of girls approaching, her smile reaching her ears and already talking to them, beckoning them closer. Hanni was an excellent barista, she kept her customers entertained and always engaged with them…unlike you, but that’s why your duo worked so well. You were the stoic one and she was the sunshine, but you were both quick on your feet so your boss couldn’t complain.

“Uh, I’ll take a Cosmopolitan.” The guy finally decided and you quirked an eyebrow, grabbing the shaker.

“That’s not sweet.” It was unlike you to make conversation, but the words were on the tip of your tongue so you couldn’t ignore them. The guy chuckled, letting his elbows rest on the counter as he placed his chin in his palms. Your eyes raised for a second to look at him, and you were taken aback by how cute he looked. But as he blinked slowly again, a small smile spreading onto his lips as he watched you, you quickly focused your attention on his Cosmo.

“I know, I was just trying to make you feel better.” He sighed, tracing a manicured finger against the dirty counter. You had to clean that too. As you grabbed some olive to stash on a toothpick, you followed his finger with your eyes and noticed the two silver and shiny rings on his finger, his nail done a neon yellow with a black smiley face painted on top of it.

“What do you even know…” You scoffed to yourself, placing the martini glass on the counter for the guy to take. He was still looking at you, his eyes hazy, and you allowed yourself to take in his features. He had a petite and sharp nose, pretty and well-fitting with his sharp jawline and otherwise intimidating eyes if it wasn’t for the smile in them. His lips were more plump than thin with a pretty Cupid’s bow, slightly pouty as he gave you a small frown.

“Well, I bet you don’t plan on wasting your life away here.” The way he spoke had an airy feel to it, as if he wasn’t really thinking before speaking, “And by the looks of it, it seems as if your degree didn’t take you too far as of now, which is not a big deal, people change their minds all the time.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as the guy reached for his Cosmo, your fingers brushing together since you hadn’t retracted your hand yet. You ignored how warm his fingers felt, the softness of them as they lightly brushed against yours, “It’s just sad to see talented people waste their lives away in places like this one, you know? I mean, we all go to college to make something of ourselves, but then we end up in a dimly lit and smelly bar, selling alcohol to entitled pricks, forced to listen to their attempts at flirting, or them berating us for ‘not’ doing our job. Sure, it’s honest work, but at the end of the day, when you walk home after an ungodly long shift, you still hate yourself, so…”

Something in you broke at his last sentence, making you gulp hard. You still hate yourself, the guy had said with the most easy-going expression on his face, a slight smile pulling at his lips as he continued to blink lazily at you. What did he even know when he was clearly wearing designer clothes to a pub where alcohol could be spilt on you, among many other things? Who was he to assume you couldn’t do anything with your degree, rubbing it in your face that he knew people ended up like this when he clearly came from a rich background with all those accessories on him, his tone airy and almost mocking. Your jaw clenched again as you realised you had tears in your eyes, and your hand came down harshly on the counter as the guy slipped a bill towards you, way over the price of his damn Cosmopolitan.

“Go fuck yourself.” You snapped as you threw the change back at him, watching his expression fall, his eyebrows raising comically high. You didn’t sit around to listen to him trying to get your attention again, you brushed past Hanni and leaned down to tell her that you needed five minutes. She gave you a worried look before nodding, letting you head to the bathroom as a few tears spilt down your cheeks. Today was complete shit, you couldn’t wait to get home and ignore all the responsibilities and problems you had. You were doing this for a better future, this was just a small fragment of your life, and it wouldn’t last forever. At least you really hoped so.

            You released a long sigh as the cool air hit your face, eyes stinging from the sudden coldness as the red backdoor slammed shut behind you. Hanni and you kept telling your boss to change the hinges, but he had more important things to take care of, of course. Stepping aside so that the door wouldn’t slam into your back if any staff member decided to come outside at this moment, you leaned against the cold wall, pushing your hands into your pockets. You didn’t bother grabbing your jacket, although you should have given the fact that your skin was now covered in goosebumps, teeth slightly chattering. It was always a whiplash coming outside from that parched pub, having to forcefully push through the bodies too busy to notice your approaching form. It was another busy night, the weekend was approaching so the students were coming in waves that the pub could barely house. You’ve been telling your boss that you should put a capacity limit, but he wouldn’t make as much money like that as he was making now, so of course, he said no. He was a greedy monster and he didn’t even try to hide it.

Just as you closed your eyes, you heard a loud tsk followed by a hiss, and your head jerked to the side, your eyes widening. You hadn’t realised there was someone else here with you, too taken by your own thoughts of wondering what you’d cook for dinner…if you make it home at a decent hour, which was looking less and less likely to be. With your eyes narrowed and head turned, you tried to find the source where the sound had come from, eyebrows furrowing when you noticed someone crouched down right by the door, their head lowered over their knees. It wasn’t your business what anyone was doing, really, but if a client was feeling unwell and would need assistance, you’d feel guilty if you just walked away without a word. So, sighing to yourself, you pushed off the wall and took a few steps to approach the person, eyes taking in the black messy curls on the top of his head. The person had a baby mullet growing out, framing his pale nape. You cleared your throat and reached down, gently poking at the guy’s shoulder.

“Hey, you good?” You asked unsure, eyebrows furrowing when the guy grunted only. Tilting your head, you realised he was shielding his left hand, his right thumb trying to roll the sparkwheel of his lighter, but to no avail.

“Yeah, this bloody thing won’t work.” The guy groaned, shaking his lighter as he tilted his head back, a hand-rolled cigarette hanging between his lips. Your eyes widened as you realised the face was familiar, having seen him just yesterday. The guy’s eyes looked innocent as they rounded, recognition flashing in his too. You gulped and straightened up, your expression slightly hardening as the guy’s harsh words from yesterday rang through your ears. He seemed pretty fine to you, but before you could step aside and go back inside, he spoke up.

“Hi there, pretty barista.” He then grinned, a lazy pull of his cherry-red lips, his tone easy. You didn’t expect him to be so easy-going after what you had said to him, but it almost looked like the guy wasn’t bothered by you cursing him out…maybe he really wasn’t, “You on a break?”

You crossed your arms in front of your chest, watching as he struggled to get his lighter to work. You had one in your pocket, but you found a bit of satisfaction in watching him struggle. Maybe if he asked whether you had one, you’d let him use yours. But people who didn’t ask wouldn’t get help, that’s what your father taught you, at least.

“Obviously.” You muttered matter of fact as the guy hummed, grinning wickedly when the lighter finally sparked to life, allowing him to light his cigarette. You watched as the flame danced in front of his face, making his dark eyes appear amber-like, sharper from this angle. You realised, alarmed, that you were appreciating his looks so you quickly stopped, looking away as the guy puffed out a whiff of smoke.

“You want some?” The guy asked, reaching his hand toward you as you eyed the cigarette, its smell hitting you. It was too herbal to be a normal cigarette, you belatedly realised as you watched the guy take another hit of his joint.

“What’s in it?” You decided to ask, just to make sure. If you were wrong and it was a regular cigarette, maybe you’d accept a smoke. You didn’t usually smoke but you were still tired from yesterday’s shift, and something that could loosen your nerves would be highly appreciated.

“Good stuff.” The guy grinned, giggling even a little, and the sound almost put a smile on your lips, but you caught yourself in time and instead shook your head, pushing your hands into your pockets again.

“I’m working, so, no.” The guy just hummed as he looked up at you again, taking a drag of his joint as you gulped and everted your eyes. It felt like he was gazing right through you and into your soul as your eyes had met, and given the fact that you were still butt-hurt over what he had said to you yesterday, you refused to look at him too long…you’d only admire his beauty, either way. He wore a fuzzy yellow and pink sweater today, his brown dress pants looking way too thin for this weather, but the guy didn’t seem to mind. His nails stood out with their unique design, and he wore fewer rings today but more earrings than yesterday.

“Hey, yesterday…what I said at the bar, I didn’t mean to berate you.” The guy gulped, his eyebrows furrowing as you looked back at him, slightly taken aback to see such sincerity on his face. You’ve never met someone so easily readable before, “My intention wasn’t to hurt you, I was smoked out too so I was just running my mouth, I do that when I’m high, sorry…”

A beat of silence passed as the two of you shared an apprehensive look, making you bite your bottom lip. You cleared your throat and at last averted your eyes, kicking a few pebbles towards the guy without meaning to, “Right, I shouldn’t have cursed you out either…I’m sorry too, I guess.”

The guy hummed, a smile slowly appearing on his lips before he took another drag of his cigarette, his eyes boring into yours again, “I’m glad the pretty barista doesn’t hate my guts anymore.”

You have no idea what took over you, but your cheeks were suddenly flushing as if you had been noticed by your crush for the first time, your skin prickling. You weren’t one to care about the compliments your clients gave since most of them were only trying to get in your pants, but this guy seemed to be genuine. He didn’t try to hit on you, he was just calling you pretty, and it was getting to you. You hummed and turned towards the door, hand reaching out for the knob when suddenly the guy spoke again, “Humans are easily susceptible, you know? We judge without knowing first, and we rarely apologise and recognise our mistakes. I hate people like that, rude people for no reason too. I don’t stand for all that bullshit, so I’m glad you told me to fuck myself instead of smiling at me like you do with all the other assholes. I appreciate your hard work, we all have to make due somehow and you aren’t less for working in this pub, pretty barista.”

There he was again, making your chest feel heavy as you huffed, a sarcastic smile pulling at your lips. Once again, what did he know about you? Maybe you loved this damned job, maybe being a barista in a shitty pub has been your lifelong dream. You almost scoffed at yourself, eyes narrowing as the guy took more drags of his joint, seemingly waiting for an answer that you didn’t exactly want to give. But you didn’t want him to have the last word, much like yesterday, so you plastered on a sarcastic smirk, “There you go again, blabbering your mouth when you’re smoked out.”

You didn’t expect the guy to start laughing loudly, his head falling back as it landed against the wall, his eyes crinkling at the corners. You didn’t mean to gape, but he was beautiful and painfully honest, it was refreshing in a world full of fakeness. He was an intriguing person, and you would’ve allowed yourself to become interested in him if only you had met in a different setting. With a hum and lingering eyes, you pushed the door open as the guy nodded at you in goodbye once he realised you were leaving for good. And with a faster beating heart, you willed yourself to focus on the few hours that you still had of your shift.

            It’s been quite a while since you had the chance to wake up at the crack of dawn without feeling tired, or without having to rush in for an early shift. Through hard work, you had earned these two days of break, and while you wished you had been given a full week, you made sure to utilise these two days wisely. You had always been an early bird, wishing to wake with the sun, opening your windows to hear the song of the birds, but it was too cold for them to hunker down in front of your window today. You didn’t mind, you’d take a stroll after your breakfast and check out the new art store that’s opened not too far from your apartment. You’ve heard great things about it, the prices seemed to be reasonable, and it had an adjoint bookstore and a coffee shop as well. A quick check on the internet showed you just how cozy it was, so you thought you could buy a book from your to read list and settle down in the coffee shop. It sounded like a great plan to destress and forget for a bit about work and all the idiots that kept you up at night, quite literally.

Your scarf was thick as you buried your nose into it, trying to keep it warm from the cold chill of the early morning. The city was awake with you, orange sun rising on the horizon and blinding you as you were walking towards it, you couldn’t help but smile. It warmed your cheeks and body, feeling the sun on your skin during cold season always felt like a blessing, you would always relish in it as much as you could because you knew it wouldn’t last for long. You exhaled as your eyes remained squinted, watching the people around you as you walked towards your destination. Kids were rushing to school, parents by their sides guiding them, and traffic was as crazy as ever, impatient drivers honking and disturbing the little peace everyone had. You paid it no mind and felt thankful that you were able to wake up so early instead of just going to bed, all tired and wishing for your boss to fire you. But if he did fire you, you would be in trouble, so you didn’t actually wish for that to happen. And suddenly as you turned the corner, the guy’s words from the bar managed to ring through your ears once again. Working at the pub was just as much of an honest job as it would’ve been working anywhere else.

You sighed, realising you were thinking about him again. You’ve been doing this a lot lately, letting your mind wander to his peculiar fashion sense and even more peculiar way of thinking. He seemed almost raw with his words and thoughts, unafraid to say them to your face. It was refreshing and intriguing, but you couldn’t let yourself be sidetracked right now. You had a purpose, and that was working until you had enough money to move away. If somehow a guy came into the picture right now, you felt like that would mess up all your plans and vision of the future. Under no circumstance would you stay here, but you knew your heart would betray you and try to keep you here for longer, with your lover. You didn’t even want to think of the guy as a potential love interest, you didn’t even know each other, so you shoved these thoughts to the back of your mind as you reached the art store, eyes widening at its exterior.

You haven’t seen anything quite like it before, the windows reached from ceiling to floor, a clear view of what was going on inside. There was a spiral staircase that led to the higher level which was littered with bookcases and low hanging retro chandeliers, bean bags spaced out on the floor as people sat around with books in their hands. To the right was the coffee shop with a separate entrance if you were only here for coffee, but you could also enter through the art store. And the art store was gorgeous as you made your way inside, the double doors opening easily. A sweet scent hit your nostrils as you walked further inside, your eyes wide as you took in the whole place. Paintings were hung on the walls, blank canvas placed underneath as many shelves housed all kinds of art supplies. The clerks were all smiley and they welcomed you warmly once they noticed your arrival. Maybe you could find a nicer workplace, something like this one. The workload seemed less strenuous and the people that came here to shop were less rowdy and rude. As much as you loved admiring the fine arts, you didn’t have the talent for drawing or painting, you could mess up even something as simple as a cloud. It was embarrassing, but arts have never been your forte, so you headed for the staircase to look for the book you had on your mind.

Navigating around the many shelves seemed a bit intimidating at first, but then you noticed they were sectioned on different genres, the tags hanging low from the ceiling with an arrow pointing towards the section to help you out. You smiled to yourself as you unrolled your scarf from around your neck, the warmth of the store helping your frozen fingers as you turned down a corner, two tall bookshelves on your sides. At the end of the row sat a younger girl with a manga in her hand, another one pressed to her lips as she seemed to be giggling. You felt yourself smile as you came near her, looking at the titles of the books. Asking for a clerk to help you find the book you were looking for would’ve helped enormously, but you found yourself wanting to stroll around in the warmth, fingers grazing the spines of the books. The girl giggled just a bit louder and blushed when you glanced her way. This wasn’t a library, so she wasn’t disturbing anyone, but she was still mindful of those around her. You turned the corner once again, finding the High Fantasy section, having made your research beforehand, you knew you were in the right place. It took a bit more cruising down the row to finally find the book you were looking for, and you grinned when you found it, taking it off the shelf.

You thought about strolling around the store more just to discover it further, maybe they had cheap trinkets you could buy. You even thought about paying a visit the coffee shop as well, maybe they had one of your favourite patisserie delicacies. You wouldn’t turn down something sweet right now, you didn’t have a sweet tooth necessarily, but there were days when your cravings got the better of you. With that in mind, you headed back the way you had come, sneaking another glance at the younger girl as she gasped, manga now clutched tightly in both of her hands. You chuckled before you rounded the corner, now back on the main aisle that led to the spiral staircase. You noticed that most people who were inside the store looked to be college students, their outfits mismatched colours and patterns, hair coloured something vibrant as most of them had piercings you never even thought possible before. You really liked their style and found yourself staring at them, blushing when a girl caught you and raised an eyebrow before she smiled. You nodded your head and hurried down the stairs, flustered and a little embarrassed. They oddly reminded you of the guy from the bar, you thought he’d somehow fit right in with the people inside the store. It looked something he’d enjoy, not that you knew anything about him besides that he smoked weed, wasn’t afraid to speak his mind, and had a nice sense of fashion.

You were looking at the hard cover of your book as you got to the base of the staircase, taken by the pretty illustration and completely unaware that someone was headed straight towards you, just as taken by items in his hands as you were by your book. The collision could’ve been avoided if you both had been paying attention to where you were going, but alas, you gasped loudly as you felt a hard body collide into yours, items spilling loudly onto the floor. Your head shoot up, eyes wide as you looked at the equally startled man and—wait, it was the same guy from the bar! You gulped, suddenly feeling nervous as your cheeks burned, but the guy hadn’t noticed you yet as he had crouched down to collect his items off the floor. You felt bad and hoped the expensive palette on the ground hadn’t been broken, so you crouched down too and reached for it to inspect it. The guy still hadn’t quite noticed that it was you out of all people, but as you reached for the same brush, his head raised sharply. Your smile was apologetic as the guy’s eyes widened, recognition flashing on his face. This was the third time you met this week, the sheer coincidence of meeting outside the pub was a bit jarring…especially since you’ve been just thinking about him.

“Pretty barista from the pub!” He motioned towards you then chuckled, letting you pick up the brush. Your book was placed on the ground next to you so your hands were free to help.

“Hi,” Your voice came out a lot shier than you had intended it to be, and you chewed on your bottom lip awkwardly, “Sorry about this, I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“Don’t worry,” The guy chuckled, scooping up the small canvases, “I wasn’t either. If it makes you feel better, it was both of our faults.”

You hummed and grabbed the last item off the floor, standing at the same time as the guy. His arms were filled with his items, and you wondered if you handed over the four in your hands how he’d be able to carry everything. Despite the cold weather outside, he was underdressed. He wore a simple turtleneck with a brown knitted vest over it, long flowy plants and mismatched tennis shoes. As you both stepped aside from the staircase to make way for others, you cleared your throat and averted your eyes once you realised you were staring again. But you hadn’t seen him wearing glasses before, and with the curly strands falling over his forehead, he didn’t only look handsome but cute as well.

“What brings you here?” The guy made conversation as you tried to figure out how to hand him his items without making him drop them all again, “I say this without meaning to be rude, but you seem like the last person who’d be interested in art.”

You huffed, not bothered by his honesty, “While that statement is incorrect, I’m not here due to the art section of the store. I was looking for a book.”

“Right!” He exclaimed, glancing down at his own chest, “Oh, sorry, you can hand me those, I can carry them!”

“Are you sure?” You asked as he nodded enthusiastically, so you complied. You stepped closer to place the other four items in his arms, watching as he clinched the smaller canvas underneath his chin to keep it from falling. You would’ve laughed and offered to help until he got himself a bag or something, but the guy looked pretty content like this. Like it wasn’t his first time doing this…

“Are you collecting them?” The guy’s incomplete question left you raising a confused eyebrow at him, “Sorry, I saw you’re buying The Hobbit. It’s a pretty famous reprint, the covers are gorgeous, my best friend is collecting them so I assumed you are too.”

You glanced down at the book in your hand and bit your bottom lip, trying to brush off your embarrassment. Why were you feeling like this all of a sudden? It made no sense, but you didn’t want to leave a bad impression on the guy…even though his perception of you might already be fucked since this wasn’t your first time meeting.

“I’ve, uh, so, uhm, I have a to read list for books I’ve never read while growing up, so now I have a little tradition that I buy a book from the list each month and read it.” You spoke quickly, avoiding eye contact as the guy listened to your ramble. His intake of breath was sharp and you chanced a glance at his face, finding his eyes wide and his mouth rounded.

“Wait. Are you saying you haven’t read The Hobbit before?!” He sounded incredulous and alarmed, and your cheeks grew hot once again, actually managing to sour your mood a bit. Not having read the book didn’t make you less by any means, but you had a feeling this guy was well-versed in literature, so it felt like a jab and even a subtle scrutinising.

“Yeah, not everyone likes reading while growing up…” Your tone grew cold and voice snappish as you continued to avoid eye contact, looking towards the front desk so that maybe the guy would get the hint that you were done with this conversation. But it didn’t actually surprise you that he continued speaking without noticing you didn’t want to keep conversing anymore.

“That’s totally cool, my brother hated comic books growing up and now he’s obsessed with them.” The guy chuckled, expression innocent and tone genuinely excited, “I think you’ll love the book, it’s filled with adventure and otherworldly creatures. It’s a nice step back from our grim reality, I feel like you need that right now.”

Okay, there he was assuming again that he could just…psychoanalyse you or whatever, “Can you stop doing that? I’m not a painting you can interpret to your liking.”

The guy blinked, face going blank before his cheeks flushed, his gaze averted now from yours, “I…have I been doing it all this time?”

“Ever since we’ve met.” Your answer was sharp and quick and the guy blushed even more.

“Oh, sorry, I just…I’ll stop doing that,” Then he smiled awkwardly and held eye contact with you, “I’m Hongjoong, by the way, I don’t remember introducing myself.”

Because he hadn’t. You repeated his name in your head, finding yourself liking the sound of it, it seemed like a fitting name for him. You hummed, extending your hand.

“I’m Y/N.” But you and Hongjoong glanced down at your extended hand and then his occupied ones at the same time, chuckles leaving your mouths as he seemed flustered.

“I’m shake your hand the next time we see other.”

“If there will be a next time.”

“I quite like the pub you work at, pretty barista.” You cleared your throat and avoided looking at him because as corny as it was, it kind of made your heart flutter. What was happening? The chiming of the doorbell reminded you that it was time you left and took care of other errands you had in your schedule, but before you could say goodbye to Hongjoong, he asked a question that took you off guard, “Wanna grab a cup of coffee with me?”

Then he turned sideways, nodding towards the adjoined café, and you hesitated for a second. You could actually slip in a little time to have coffee with him, but you felt reluctant. You had met him at the pub, after all, and you still couldn’t decide what type of person he was. Of course, he was handsome, and so far, has showed a good character, but there were little moments when he somehow managed to ruin everything with his words. And he was still a complete stranger, so, listening to your rational mind, you slowly shook your head.

“I don’t like coffee, but thanks!” Your smile was easy, Hongjoong’s face morphed into something knowing as he hummed with a nod.

“Sure, I’m glad I caught you here.” Then, as you were about to take off, he added, “The pretty barista now has a name, I can say my morning was successful.”

You tried to huff and look irked, but the blush betrayed you. You just shook your head before heading for the front desk, “Goodbye, Hongjoong.”

“See ya!” His smile was radiant as he turned around and headed for the café instead, and you realised he was underdressed because he had come from the coffee shop, his things already there. And with Hongjoong on your mind, you followed his distinctive walk as he sauntered over to his table with an elegancy yet swagger you hadn’t seen before.

            Now, a week ago you probably would have said no to a preposition that involved you following home a complete stranger whose name you had known for a maximum of four days, but tonight had been literal shit and you were on the verge of tears when Hongjoong had sauntered over to the bar, his Chesire like smile blinding. You had one more hour left of your shift and you’d be clocking out, not even staying behind to help Hani clean up. Your cramps were terrible and a guy who hit on you for the whole night had spilt his drink on your favourite blouse, calling you a bitch as well for shunning him away, so, when you saw Hongjoong approach the bar with mischief in his eyes, you were ready to scream at him and tell him to get lost. Except that you didn’t do all that because his question completely threw you off guard.

“Y/N, do you like art?” He had a rolled-up joint resting at his ear, his hair pulled to the side and clipped back with colourful hair clips. Your laugh that bubbled past your lips sounded incredulous and tired, but you nodded.

“I do, do you want something to drink?” Hongjoong shook his head, leaning across the bar despite it being wet from spilt alcohol.

“When does your shift end?”

“In an hour.”

“Wanna see some of my art?” Then Hongjoong grinned, looking proud of himself, “I’m a painter.”

Something came over you and didn’t even let you ponder over your decision, “Do you have weed?”

The answer was obvious as you glanced at the joint and Hongjoong laughed, tilting his head in a way that sharpened his features under the neon lights of the pub.

“Obviously, got some on me right now. Want some?” Not while you were working, afterwards, however, you were free to do whatever.

“After my shift, yeah.”

“Cool, I’ll meet you in the back. See ya.”

And that’s how you ended up at Hongjoong’s apartment, not even ten minutes away from the pub. Your feet ached and your cramps were so bad you felt like doubling over and emptying your already empty stomach, but you tried to hold yourself together in front of Hongjoong. There was a nervous flutter in your chest as you had followed him up the steel staircase, the building old and dodgy. However, the second you walked inside his studio apartment, it felt like you had entered a different realm. He was the true definition of an artist, you came to realise, with canvas strewn around the apartment, most finished but some blank, oil paint tainting the wooden floor and even the walls. The colours were neutral, beige with a slip of sage green here and there, the curtains sheer and pulled to the side as Hongjoong hurried over to the windows to push them open. There was an earthy smell in the air mixed with something sweet like vanilla, and you couldn’t help but marvel at the cosiness of Hongjoong’s studio. You recognised a few prints on the walls, they were the paintings of well-known painters who no longer lived, and the décor Hongjoong had used was rather vintage than modern. His huge wardrobe was open, and he pushed the door closed with little care as he picked up a hoodie off the floor. You were surprised he even owned one of those.

You flinched when it collided against your head, confused as to why he had thrown it at you. Hongjoong chuckled as he shrugged his coat off, trying to tidy his messy bed but quickly giving up when he realised you didn’t look like you cared. Truthfully, your apartment wasn’t in a better shape, the dishes in the sink had been there for three days and your bathroom was in dire need of a deep clean.

“We can’t smoke weed with closed windows, so it’ll get colder.” Hongjoong suddenly explained, shrugging on a cardigan that looked very soft, “Wear my hoodie, it’ll keep you warm.”

You hummed, glancing down at it before you stepped out of your shoes, shrugging your jacket off and wearing the hoodie. Its scent was sweet but potent with something musky, and you blushed as your nose buried into its fabric, drinking in its soft material.

“Make yourself feel at home!” Hongjoong grinned, walking over to the small kitchen section to grab two cups, “Do you want tea?”

You shook your head as you walked towards the small bean bag, pushing it with your leg to try and get it more gathered together. And then, just as you were about to sink into the chair, you heard a faint sound come from the kitchen. You turned your head and were met with a small black creature blinking at you in wonder.

“You have a cat?” You asked in surprise, staring back at the little pet. Hongjoong chuckled, looking down at his pet as the electric kettle started whistling.

“Is it so surprising? I found him near a dumpster a few years ago, he’s been by my side ever since.” You couldn’t help but gaze at Hongjoong with admiration as he spoke, pouring hot water into his cup for the tea, “His name is Woo ‘cuz he reminds me of my friend. They are both rascals and really loud.”

As if on cue, the cat meowed loudly and you chuckled, finally easing yourself into the bean bag. Your lower back protested and your spine cracked as you allowed yourself to lean back, arching your back. You could’ve cried at the relief, thankful to finally be off your feet. You couldn’t wait for the weed, it would dull your cramps and help you ease up after the day you’ve had. You were probably in dire need of a shower since you smelled like alcohol, but you didn’t feel comfortable showering at a guy’s place you barely knew. Which, now that you thought more about it, realisation started setting in. You weren’t too smart for following Hongjoong home, but he had never creeped you out, so you decided to give him the benefit of the doubt tonight. You stared at the cat as Hongjoong mixed honey into his berry-flavoured tea, the warm mist hogging up his glasses. The cat, still at Hongjoong’s side, stared back at you and then slowly walked towards you, its head tilted in wonder. You smiled at it and let it smell your fingers, taking you off guard when it unceremoniously climbed into your lap, starting to make biscuits against your lower abdomen.

“Ah, of course, you’re already in the lap of the pretty barista.” Hongjoong mused with an amused smile on his lips, “You take after Wooyoung more than one would think.”

You had no idea who this Wooyoung guy was, but it sounded like he was a flirt if Hongjoong wasn’t bluffing.

“I like your apartment,” You blurted out as you started petting the cat, smiling down at it when it started purring, “It’s got character, much like you.”

“That’s the first time you said something completely honest to me.” Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked up at Hongjoong, the joint from his ear now gone as he grabbed some matches to light it up. You didn’t think that was true, but you didn’t say anything as Hongjoong came nearer, sitting down on the floor across from you. You looked at him as he took a long whiff of his joint, then extended his arm for you to take the weed. It’s been quite a while since you smoked any, you knew it would hit you faster, but you hoped it wasn’t too strong or you’d become sick. You took a careful drag of it as Woo settled into a slumber in your lap, and the earthy taste of it made you grimace. But you kept the smoke in your lungs for a bit before exhaling, taking another drag as Hongjoong watched you with a lazy smile. He looked so…handsome. You’ve had a few days to yourself to think about Hongjoong after your encounter in the art store, and you realised you were attracted to him. It was mostly physical since you liked his looks, but his brutally honest character also had you intrigued even if you’d get offended at times by what he was saying.

“I find it hilarious that you decided to come home with me after you declined to have coffee.” Your eyes met Hongjoong’s quickly just as you were about to hand over the joint, “Do you really don’t drink coffee? Or did you just want to get rid of me that day?”

“I…” You licked your lips as Hongjoong took the joint from you, grinning as he took a long drag once again, “Both, actually. I just…I don’t know you well enough and we’ve also met at the pub, I don’t like meddling with clients. Those frat boys are horny and only want to sleep with me.”

“Good thing I’m not a frat boy then, right, Woo?” Hongjoong grinned and ruffled the slumbering cat’s fur, looking back at you with an understanding look, “I’ll be done with my master’s degree in just a few months.”

You hummed, picking at the sleeve of Hongjoong’s hoodie before you saw the joint handed to you again, “And after that? What do you plan on doing?”

Suddenly, Hongjoong had a pensive look on his face as he leaned back on his arms, staring up at the ceiling. You took shorter drags of the joint now but kept the smoke in your lungs until it started burning.

“I want to travel the world, visit art galleries and drink a lot of expensive wine.” That didn’t sound bad at all, Hongjoong continued before you could tell him, “It’s hard breaking into the industry as a painter even though some realtors have already approached me to buy my paintings and put them on display.”

“And? What did you say to them?” You felt genuinely curious, the cat sighed loudly in your lap and Hongjoong looked at you two, reaching out for the joint. Your fingertips brushed together and Hongjoong’s hands felt too cold, but you didn’t comment on it.

“I turned them down,” Hongjoong smiled, but it looked almost sad before he shrugged, taking a drag, “I don’t want just anyone owning my creations. I want someone who understands what’s on that canvas to contact me, I want someone who genuinely loves art and isn’t just doing it for the money. It’s hard to find people like that nowadays, but I’m willing to wait as long as it takes…even if that makes me broke.”

Hongjoong scoffed out a chuckle, sounding bitter by the end of his sentence. For someone who was so good at reading others and commenting on their lives, Hongjoong seemed to be having his own demons he had to fight. You hummed, closing your eyes for a second as you felt your muscles ease up, your cramps less torturous. You were glad the weed was slowly kicking in, your cramps would’ve had you crying if not.

“So how do you plan on travelling if you have no money?” Maybe the question was insensitive, but you were curious. Hongjoong didn’t take offence as he smiled, looking at you with sparkling eyes.

“There are art courses all around the world, I might sign up for one and leave, never look back…”

“Do you hate it here?” The question tumbled past your lips before you could stop yourself, “Because I don’t.”

Hongjoong didn’t look surprised as he nodded, handing back the joint so you could finish it. Three drags and it would be gone, so you took your time savouring it.

“It’s not the worst, but I don’t see much of a future for myself here.” So, Hongjoong was just like you then, “When are you leaving?”

“How did you know?” You sounded shocked as Hongjoong shrugged, averting his eyes.

“You and I are rather similar, you just fail to see it, Y/N.” Well, maybe he was right, maybe he wasn’t. You couldn’t read Hongjoong as well as he could read you, you needed more time to feel out his character.

“Six months and I’m out of here, never to come back if life’s kind to me.” Your voice was quiet as you didn’t look at Hongjoong, smoke wafting through your lips as you finished the joint. Hongjoong hummed, a low and warm sound, as he reached for the stud to take it from you. Your fingers brushed together once again, and you looked at Hongjoong when he held your wrist.

“You’re stronger than you think, you’ll make it big out there, Y/N, have more faith in yourself.” You found yourself smiling now, head a little hazy as you nodded, finding it easier to believe whatever Hongjoong told you.

“You’re the artist between the two of us, you’re the one supposed to make it big.” Hongjoong chuckled and stood, headed for the kitchen.

“Can’t we both make it big?” He raised an eyebrow as he threw the stud away, turning around to face you. You hummed, not entirely agreeing with him, but you decided to nod. Then, Hongjoong turned towards where his bed was and grinned, “You’re here to see some art, no?”

“Right, I almost forgot about that.” Hongjoong chuckled, then beckoned you over. You grabbed the cat in your lap and pressed a kiss against its small head, placing it on the bean bag in your spot. Your feet felt light as you headed towards Hongjoong, who had sauntered over to the desk pressed up against the wall underneath the open windows. He turned the small lamp on, and suddenly you were looking at small canvases filled with colour and abstract shapes. Somehow they looked like an organised mess, even in the overflowing swirl of colours, you managed to find a pattern that seemed to never end like a loop. You turned your head to look at Hongjoong, and suddenly you realised his art was a perfect reflection of who he was.

“I can tell you made these.” Perhaps phrasing it like that was offensive, but Hongjoong only looked curious. He hummed, raising an eyebrow.

“How come?” His voice was quiet, curious.

“I can see you in these.” You pointed at the canvas with orange and yellow as the more prominent colours, circling a deep blue that looked almost black, “The blue is you at your core, dark and perhaps scared of the world. And then all that orange and yellow? I think that’s how you see the world, how you wish it treated you, hoping it would lighten all that darkness that looms over you all the time. And this one? I wonder if it was a coincidence you hid so many infinity symbols in the background, this burgundy is gorgeous, by the way. I think everyone is afraid of disappearing without leaving a trace of themselves in this fucked up world, and I actually…I admire you for being so honest and straightforward, very few people are like you.”

Hongjoong’s eyebrows were furrowed the longer you spoke, but he remained silent as you smiled, looking down at the white canvas, unfinished but with light blue swirls creating the illusion of a clear sky, “I wonder what this will turn into. So far, it reminds me of serenity, of the calm before a storm. Life’s like that too, don’t you think? It’s quiet and gentle, and then it turns into a scary thing that can destroy us if we let it.”

Hongjoong just gulped, his eyes clouded but his heart racing. He was positive no one had been able to interpret his art for what it was before, and he wondered how much of him you could see through his eyes if you could read so well what the trail of his brush had left on a blank canvas. It made him feel seen like never before, not even his biggest supporter, Wooyoung, could see beyond Hongjoong’s intentions when he sat down to paint, to tell the world his pain and rage, yearning for someone to just finally see him.

“You’re…” Hongjoong gulped, his throat feeling dry as you smiled at him, curious if you’d been right, “You are a person I should cherish more from now on.”

Your eyebrows raised in surprise, your heart skipping a beat once again. What did he mean by saying that? You wanted to ask, but Hongjoong stepped closer, his tone breathy as he spoke up again, “‘Whoever wants to know something about me – as an artist which alone is significant – they should look attentively at my pictures and there seek to recognize what I am and what I want’…that’s what Gustav Klimt once said. And so far, you are the only person who’s managed to do that.”

Your mouth gaped open, and you both heard Woo stretch and meow loudly, his soft footsteps loud as he walked towards Hongjoong’s bed, jumping up and finding a new spot to sleep. You didn’t know what to say back to that, but you felt your heart race as your cheeks flushed, shy all of a sudden. Hongjoong was looking at you with a softness no man has looked at you with, it was a bit hard to take it all in without freaking yourself out that this wasn’t real, that it was just the weed, or that maybe Hongjoong wasn’t as genuine as his expression showed.

“Y/N,” You didn’t flinch when his hand wrapped around your wrist, his tone still soft, “I think you already know that I find you pretty, and I…I might have gone to that dingy pub for so long just to see you, actually.”

Those words had your heart racing even wilder as you looked up, finding Hongjoong’s face closer to yours as his eyes now bore into yours, “I should’ve been more specific when I asked you to have coffee with me. I meant to ask you out on a date, but I panicked because I knew I had slightly upset you, but…”

He gulped nervously and you felt so curious to hear what more he had to say, perhaps a smile would encourage him, so that’s what you did, offered him a small friendly smile. He released a breath and cleared his throat, his hand slipping from your wrist to your hand, “Can I kiss you?”

If this was anyone else but Hongjoong, your answer would have been an instant no. But the longer you looked into his eyes, the more excited and giddy you felt, so you just nodded your head and licked your lips, trying to ignore the deep flush of your cheeks. Hongjoong chuckled, suddenly looking shy, but he started leaning in, his eyes fluttering closed just as your lips met. It was careful, it was sweet and it made your heart roar as you stepped just a bit closer, your noses brushing together as your lips moved slowly and carefully, mostly just testing out the waters. Hongjoong’s lips were soft and sweet, and surprisingly didn’t taste like weed but like peaches. You wondered if he used any sort of lip balm to have them taste like that. His hand settled on your cheek and he gently caressed your cheekbone with his thumb, making your heart roar once again. It’s been long since someone had treated you with such gentleness, and you told yourself to remain level-headed, but it would be just so easy to fall in love with Hongjoong. You couldn’t help but smile as you two pulled apart, Hongjoong tried to hide his own grin as he sucked his lips together, but his eyes gave him away. You chuckled and he giggled, and suddenly you felt the urge to pull him into a hug.

“So,” He cleared his throat as he let his arms rest around your torso loosely, “If you don’t like coffee, what do you like?”

“Delicious cakes.” You didn’t hesitate to answer and Hongjoong chuckled, patting your head.

“Well then, would you like to go on a delicious cake-hunting date with me?” You closed your eyes to contain your excitement, but the weed had not only eased your muscles but your always worrying mind as well.

“Yes!” You didn’t mean to squeal, but it was hard not to when Hongjoong startled giggling sweetly once again, nodding his head.

“Good, I’ll make sure we find the best spots in the city then.”

And perhaps not just in the city, but also in foreign countries while you attended Hongjoong’s art expositions, an expensive bottle of wine waiting for the two of you back at the hotel.

੭ Masterlist ੭

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[cattjull]

Sugary sweet

summary: You were supposed to go to a party tonight. Abby receives you at her home, though, crying about not having permission from your parents to go.

a/n: I'm so sorry for not posting but honestly I'm really really depressed since a few months ago and I cannot bring myself to do anything good or productive enough. I don't even think this passes my quality check but at this point and due to my inconsistency nobody will even remember I wrote fics once soo... Please enjoy or something :)

cw: implied age gap but not specified!

Abby laid down on her side, wet hair clinging to her skin and cascading down her neck and sprawling on her pillow, small droplets falling from her loose, golden hair onto the bedsheets and her pajamas like molten gold looking for a form in which to solidify.

It was 12 p.m. in a normal Friday night, which normally meant she could stay up to whenever she felt like it, go to bed anytime and mindlessly scroll down on her phone or read a book until she decided to turn all of her lights off, text you her usual good night message and drift off to sleep, her pillow being an one-way ticket to the land of dreams which you had took over and claimed as yours ever since you guys started dating.

But this was one of those nights. Those where you'd go out to some party and she'd be going to bed late without inviting anyone over or going out, where she wouldn't pay attention to her phone or get distracted with other simple activities because of her excessive worries, often finding herself fidgeting with her rings, adjusting her glasses, or eating fruits just because of her anxiety.

She loved you a lot, too much even but sometimes she didn't have enough stamina to be your company in parties, even if she really tried to attend with you almost always. She really didn't enjoy that lifestyle, mundane parties with shitty music and potentially dangerous people, but oh guess who does! Her girlfriend.

She feels lucky to have you, truly. It's not like she was planning on sleeping until you texted her you got home safe, but her mind started divagating somewhere far away from the book she held between her big hands and she just knew that, once again, she'd spent worrying over you at least until 4 a.m., maybe even after you texted her you were safe in your house. So she took off her glasses and placed the book down on her nightstand, signing loudly and preparing herself for another sleepless night.

You may be having fun in your friend's party, where you obviously invited her but she refused, knowing you'd most likely end up alternating your time between gossiping with your friends and clinging onto her while the others ignored her, which made her feel unwanted by them.

Maybe there was someone flirting with you and you were too drunk to tell them to stop. Maybe you were flirting with someone and tomorrow you'd call her like nothing talking to her about how much you hate hangovers. Maybe you were crying because someone was mean to you. Maybe you were doing something stupid. How could she know?

Her anxious thoughts were interrupted by the small sound coming from her window. It sounded like a small rock: there it was, your signature way of getting into her house. She didn't know why but everything about your behaviour was so sweet and dumb, just as any teenager but make it cute romantic comedy like. Everything you did was a small reminder of the small age gap between you two, which made her feel guilty every time.

She got closer to the window and saw you standing there with your eyes looking slightly red and swollen, as if you had been smoking weed, with your mini bag being clutched to your waist with one hand while the other waved at her. She quickly rushed downstairs, not even bothering to put her slippers on, and unlocked the door for you.

Luckily, her dad was out in the hospital so he wouldn't wake up by the sound of her feet pattering on the wooden floor or the tinkering of the keys or... Anything else you'd be doing.

When the blue eyed girl opened the door, she took in your appearance, noticing you had the same clothes that you had worn a few hours ago when you sent her nudes and a really thoughtful video. You told her that would be your outfit for the party, so why were you in her house if this hour wasn't even close to the one you usually would be going home?

Her orbs shamelessly fixed on you, and how couldn't they when taking you in felt so natural? After what felt like an eternity, Abby started functioning again and regained her speech. "Babe... What happened with the party?" She questioned.

"My parents didn't want me to go. So I escaped. Sorry for not telling you but they took my phone away." You explained, in that moment you felt so angry you were crying, something you were deeply ashamed of to be honest. Your voice was completely sweet towards her when you didn't talk about your parents, though. Abby cupped your face with her warm, big hands, noticing you hadn't been smoking anything. Your pretty eyes were spilling diamond tears.

"You'll stay with me tonight, honey." She reassured you. "I'm not driving you to that party, yeah?" You immediately smiled and hugged her, burying the side of your face in her god-sculptured chest and nuzzling your cheek against her. "I'll do as you say." You obeyed lovingly.

"I bet you prefer me over those parties, sweetheart." She replied with a soft smile.

"Of course I do. You're the best Abby, I love you so much and I'd choose you over anything, okay?" You reassured her, causing her to giggle at your directness. That kind of words often came out of your mouth by themselves, as always you praised her. As if you just quoted every love song you heard.

"Didn't you bring anything by the way?" She asked as she hugged you back, embracing you with her buff, juicy arms and picking you up.

"I brought my toothbrush, makeup and fifty dollars." You said, prideful of your improvised packing skills as she held you up to her body with one arm, using the other hand to close and lock the door.

"Pretty good." She nodded with approval, heading upstairs.

Last time you escaped home for something like this, you had brought your phone charger (your phone was taken), a bar of chocolate, your earphones (again, your phone was taken) and no money.

"I know." You smiled and placed a kiss in her clavicle. In Abby's room, she sat down as you straddled her, shifting so you were using her chest as a pillow as she laid on actual ones, staring down at you.

"You aren't really... Crying anymore." She commented, caressing your cheekbone as she observed the change in your mood.

"No. I stopped crying when you picked me up. Guess I was happy to see you." You confessed, kissing her cheek.

"Is that so?" She questioned with affection, caressing your hair.

"You know you heal my heart, Abby." You whispered before kissing her. It was velvety, wet, and sweet. Abby's lips were the cake to your sickly sweet frosting, joining together on a wet and tender kiss, intertwining your souls and tying them up together with an invisible string without even knowing it. That's just how you were.

[the-ghost-of-jason-todd]

Interesting that you bring that up, because I think it ties into a different Jason post I made once. You don't have to read all of that, the important part is this:

i think thats my favorite thing about the red hood. he pulls people out of the abyss. he never steps entirely out of the shadows himself, but he will extend a hand to someone else, until they can get their own grip and climb past him. he did it with roy and kori, and with the random pyg minion in batman reborn, and with duela dent, and suzie su, and bunker, and ma gunn, and in a way even his own father. he does it all the time, and i love him for that.

That post is in regards to the (eventual) conclusion to the Duela Dent arc, where Jason helps her unjokerfy and go back home. Because it really is a theme we see! I don't think DC did it intentionally, especially since half of these happened during Scott Lobdell's runs and I don't think the man did anything except throw spaghetti at a wall in the hopes that it would stick, but it's become a theme. (....Scott Lobdell also had the Generation Outlaw storyline that he didn't fucking land or conclude in any satisfying way, but that's a rant for a different day).

Anyway, the point is that yeah, in some ways Jason DOES still have to choose. A lot of the storylines he has are with people who do, eventually, decide to be less morally gray. And that's just something he doesn't do. Or, if he somehow did, if he TRULY came back into the light, he would ABSOLUTELY lose the ideological purity that drove him in the UTRH era. I'm not saying it's not possible for someone to stay with him in his moral gray zone or even in his True Villain Zone, but there is actually an interesting tragedy in the fact that no one does, because it kind of highlights the point of his character--which is that he KNOWS BOTH SIDES and he CHOOSES to stay somewhere between them. He wavers sometimes in canon, moves more toward one side or the other, but so far he always returns to that gray zone, consistently, every single time.

Comics are, in a lot of ways, black and white. Questions of morality are almost always framed in what is right and what is wrong. Characters are good or bad. Things are mutually exclusive. I don't think it's impossible to find the balance, but IMO it would be much trickier to make it work, especially in canon. To find that balance and make it truly compelling would need some significant skill. We would need someone who was truly okay to live in that gray zone, but whose values wouldn't turn out to be incompatible (which is often, I think, why he and Rose don't usually work out when they're put together. Rose WOULD be that character, but I just don't think they're sustainable, generally speaking).

With that in mind, I can see why it's usually the Batfam that he returns to in search of family. He doesn't want things that are fleeting. He doesn't want "well, we can put Joker in Arkham until his next breakout", he wants the Joker DEAD. And he really doesn't want the people in his life to give up on him!! He WANTS both. NEEDS it, maybe. Even as far back as UTRH we saw this tension. Jason is holding VERY tightly to his ideals in that comic, and still he all but begs Bruce to join him so that he can have both. His origins will always be most deeply rooted in the Batfam. But maybe that brings a different sort of tension to the question--one having to do with whether a fan wants Jason to keep hold of his history, his roots, and find the permanence that Bruce promised when he took Jason in... or if they want him to give that up and forge a new future with a new family.

Jason really is, IMO, about tension. Not just in the conflict sense, though he does tend to bring tension and conflict to interactions. But thematically, his character and his arcs are filled with themes that constantly pull him in opposing directions. Even the dichotomy of the poverty he faced as a child versus the abundance of living with a millionaire is like that. In a lot of ways, canon tells us that he really just can't have everything he wants. So the question is... what does he have to give up?

i’m starting to realize there are at least two camps of jason todd fans. 

there are the ideological campers, who took under the red hood and ran with it.  the ones who believe whole-heartedly that jason todd is a character with a moral stance–counter, perhaps, to the man who raised him and the monsters that shaped him, but extant, all the same.  these people see jason shucking his ideals in canon and scoff, saying that it is a loss of integrity and a tragedy of what was good characterization. 

and then there are the emotional campers.  the ones who saw jason todd’s pain, his desire for a family who loved him enough to act as executioner.  it wasn’t an ideological purity that drove him–it was the emotional one, the familial one, and these people see jason struggling to mend bridges once burned and cheer him onward.  the ones who desperately want to see him shed his lone wolf persona and really, truly, become a part of the family.

in some sense, it ends up being a question of how faithful to the original characterization you want to be.  when jason is the villain and often when he’s the outlaw, he is antithetical to batman by nature.  he grips his pain and grief in his hands and uses it to act, same as batman, but in a diametrically opposed way.  in order to hang onto this, to keep this opposition in place, he cannot have his family.  but in order to have his family, to change from what he once became, he cannot have his ideals.

and i think it’s neat, because both of these camps want jay to succeed, you know?  but the question lies in whether they want that success to be in ‘cleansing gotham’/‘ridding the world of that which hurt him so no one else can be hurt’, so that he might save the world…

…or if they want it to be just him, reaching out a hand to someone and asking to be lifted up, so that he might save himself.

[deepamuthukrishnan]

We Listen and We Don’t Judge

Pairings: Nico Hischier x OC

Warnings: Spoilers for That Sik Luv, King of Wrath, King of Sloth, God of Wrath, and God of Malice but just a lot of fluff.

Summary: You are a viral booktoker and after seeing the we listen and we don’t judge trend with couples, you put your own twist.

—————————————————————————

It’s not a joke that you are mildly addicted to TikTok. After all, by day, you worked for the New Jersey Devils as a social media girl but by night, you are one of the most viral booktokers on BookTok.

Currently you were doomscrolling on TikTok, waiting for your boyfriend, Nico, to come home from hanging at Jack’s and Luke’s place.

You suddenly come across a video of a couple doing the We Listen and Don’t Judge trend which you weren’t that completely unaware of because you had seen it on your for you page for the last few days.

“We listen and we don’t judge.” The couple both said before the woman started to talk.

“I sometimes don’t wash our fruit because I feel lazy.” She said, trying not to laugh.

The man burst into laughter. “Jesus we’re gonna get worms! We probably have worms in our bodies!”

“Well we listen and we don’t judge!” She clapped back and you began to laugh.

After about three minutes of watching that video, an idea popped in your head. You walked to your massive bookshelf that Nico assembled for you for Christmas last year and got out your copies of That Sik Luv, King of Wrath, King of Sloth, God of Wrath, and God of Malice from your shelf before walking back to the living room.

As soon as you walked back, you saw Nico walk in, taking his shoes and beanie off.

“Hey Schatz.” He said, wrapping his arms around your waist, giving you a kiss.

You pulled away to greet him back, Nico pouting a bit. “Hey baby. How was the hangout at Jack’s and Luke’s place.”

“Same old same old.” He said, his Swiss German accent being prominent.

You chuckled. “Why don’t you get changed.”

“Okay.” He gives you a quick kiss before walking into your shared bedroom before walking out in grey sweatpants and a devils hoodie.

“Hey Nico?”

“Yeah?” He asks.

“You love me right?”

“Are you breaking up with me?” He asked and you look at him gobsmacked.

“Okay no. I’m not breaking up with you-“

“Thank god.”

“I was literally gonna ask if you wanted to be in a TikTok baby.” You say.

Nico has been your biggest supporter and even though it was a mutual decision to keep your love life private, along with the occasional post of each other on your birthdays, anniversaries, and reposting posts of you guys in them.

“Oh okay. What TikTok?”

He plops down on the floor and looks at the pile of books on the coffee table. “What TikTok is it?”

You get your phone and open TikTok, going to make a new video, propping your phone on the little fake bonsai tree.

“Okay so we’re gonna do the we listen and we don’t judge trend except it’s with the books I read last month.” You say to your phone before stopping the recording.

“I say we listen and we don’t judge and tell you something about the book.” I explain.

“So I sit and look pretty?”

“Pretty much.” I answer.

I get out the first book, That Sik Luv, from the pile before clicking the button to record.

“We listen and we don’t judge,” you say, trying so hard not to laugh. “In this book, she’s in a religious cult, she doesn’t know that she is. Either way, the church that runs their town are trying to kill her so they hire this mercenary dude who becomes obsessed with her and stalks her and shows just how corrupt the church is. So one day, when she has to go to confession and he’s waiting for her in where she’s supposed to sit and they get their freak on when she’s giving her confession to the deacon and when he pulls back to curtain to pew pew her, he acts quickly and pew pews the deacon and they continue to get their freak on in front of the deacon’s now dead body.”

Nico mulls over what you said before saying, “I would read this book Schatzi.”

“What?!” You look at him horrified. “Like you’re not playing with me are you?”

“I mean I would skip over these kinda scenes but it seems interesting.”

“Oh my lord.” You muttered before grabbing King of Wrath.

“We listen and we don’t judge,” you said, forming her thoughts. “So in this book, both the characters are in an arranged marriage situation for reasons I can’t say. Anyway, one thing leads to another and he’s,” you mime fingering to him and he raises his eyebrows, “her and calls him an asshole and he replies with ‘I’m an asshole, yet youre dripping for me.’”

“Is this what you’re reading when your jaw is dropped?” He asks.

“Well like, you signed up for this.” You say.

“I love you too much.” He said, pulling you into him.

“I love you too.” You say and you grab King of Sloth.

“We listen and we don’t judge. So for context, her ex cheated on her-“

“He’s a dead man.” Nico fumes, his Swiss German accent becoming even more prominent.

“If you’ll let me finish.” You say, trying not to laugh at his outburst but you crack a smile. “Anyway, because of that, she has trust issues and when she’s telling him, so the mmc, her trust issues, instead of reassuring her, he sits her on her desk and goes to town with his mouth on her. He then proceeds to bend her over and goes to town on her and he puts duct tape over her mouth because she’s apparently loud.”

A beat of silence passes before Nico says, “If your ex cheated on you and you said that, I’d do the same.”

You whack the book on his head. “No you won’t.” You reply, both of you laughing.

“What, I need to remind him what he missed out on.” He responds chalantly.

You roll your eyes before grabbingGod of Wrath.

“We listen and we don’t judge. So in the first chapter, she wants to kill herself because her best friend killed himself and she on the edge of the cliff and she jumps, but then the mmc grabs onto her and he said that the only way he can save her life is if she performs a certain sexual act down there.”

“Like what do you mean?”

“He’s holding on to her and he’s like oh the only way I will save you if you do this certain sexual act down there for me.”

“And she does.”

“Well yeah. If we were in this exact situation, I’d do it because I value my life.” You respond.

“Okay true.” He says.

You get out your last book, God of Wrath, trying not to laugh.

“We listen and we don’t judge. In this book, she’s walking home at night with her headphones in and these two creeps are like following her but then, the mmc, who was stalking her, bears the guys up because in his eyes, he’s the only one that allowed to stalk her.”

“Oh.” He says. “That’s kinda stupid though.”

“What is?” You ask.

“Walking alone at night with headphones in. Like does she not have any sense?”

You burst into laughter at his words. “Literally the mmc asked her the exact question and it is pretty stupid.” You look at your phone before saying, “Guys, remember to not walk alone at night with headphones in. But also let me know if yall want a part 2.”

You hit the stop button and he pulls you further into him. “You know I love you, but this is the weirdest TikTok you made me do.”

You chuckle and kiss his jaw. “I know babe.”

[shoups32]

The mischaracterization of Mel Medarda by both the fandom and the show has to be one of the worst things about arcane.

In the show we see her get mischaracterized and completely ruined mostly when it comes to Viktor and mostly in season 2. This is mostly because of Amanda’s very clear dislike of her (she has said on twitter that she finds Mel boring and did basically use her to further the plot of Viktor.) but I also think a part of it is just the inconsistencies of her character. A good example of this is that we see in season 1 through a flashback that Mel is a very thoughtful character that doesn’t agree with the laws of Noxus nor their reign over Ionia. Inside the show this gets completely ignored when we see her judging Viktor due to him being from Zaun (though I don’t think that is what that scene was implying that seems to be what most do think). With what we know about her she wouldn’t be judgmental of people from Zaun. Now this isn’t to say she would have fixed all the issues and stood up for Zaun from the beginning because she still does care about her power. This is just one of the many inconsistencies in her character in arcane.

Another issue (that is far more important in my opinion) with how she is written that I believe contributes to my post is that she is written into the “disposable black girlfriend trope” not only by the fandom but by the show itself. We see this most in season two when any moment between Jayce and Mel gets Viktor in it. It is very clear Jayce cares for both of them dearly but we also see her get overshadowed by Viktor multiple times. One example is the fire scene. Jayce sees Mel first then it goes to Viktor, that could be a good show on how he cares about them both but it is shown more in a way that makes it seem as though Jayce overshadows Mel with Viktor. Of course this point is only proven more in context of the fact that Jayce rarely ever spoke to Mel in season 2 and didn’t either bring up Viktor or basically called her a shitty person. While I get a lot of people’s defense for this is that in canon Jayce was stressed when you put it all together that defense doesn’t work out much.

My final point is to why and how I think she was so butchered in the show (mostly season 2). One reason is the writers clear dislike to her. Amanda herself has admitted to finding her boring and using her for Viktor on Twitter. In season 1 I think what was protecting Mel from how bad she was portrayed in season 2 was the fact that it had a huge team of writers. Season 2 has been confirmed to only have about 3 writers so not many people to actually give the characters the love they deserve. I think season 2 being rushed is also a huge issue but that is a whole other topic.

If you don’t agree with this that is fine I just have gotten tired of the fandom mistreating her. I do hope someone reads this though and realizes how bad her character is treated.

[astrologicalsstuff]

Composite chart observations

(18+ mdni)

Conjunctions are great but look at what’s involved in the conjunction

Debilitation within conjunction could bring down the whole thing

Debilitated mars may make getting started extremely difficult

I had an exact conjunction (sun mercury venus mars all in early degrees cancer like 0-2orb) with a scorpio moon (mars and moon debilitated mutual reception) eventhough everything trined it took us forever to get started (Saturn conjunct jupiter in the first) we finally hooked up after 3 years we barely talk and every single conversation was either arguing or sexual. Mars really did its thing there.

I think the mars being debilitated overpowered the sun mercury and venus who are all okay with being in cancer but the mars caused these angry and sexual feelings to linger for a long time also the scorpio moon added to the inability to let it go. But it could also be because that scorpio moon is super important

Venus conjunct sun in composite is better than in synastry. Venus and sun in synastry can cause idealization but in composite it’s a little more mutual. (Can be superficial though)

Anything in the 7th house for a composite chart shows how you guys deal with third parties. From my experience

Pluto in the 7th house indicates a lot of possessiveness

Mars in the 7th people might not like the relationship.

Mars or Pluto in the 7th, 10th, or 11th people probably want to break you up.

Moon in the 7th? My relationship with this one we literally dealt with feelings through other people (we were poly and he would talk about how he felt about me to the other girl but never me).

We had 5th house stellium in cancer our relationship was mostly about sex in the house never anywhere else.

And 5th house ruler (being very important in this chart) in the 7th was a heavy emphasis on other people. I had a falling out with the girl and the relationship with him did not feel as interesting.

11th house placements talk about community. I had neptune in the 11th house and we knew about eachothers friends, but never met them. (Distance)

Chiron or Lilith in the 7th can indicate 3rd party involvement maybe Neptune too

Stellium in the 7th could be a very social relationship?

Venus conjunct moon has a deep intimacy to it

Me and one of my guy friends have a stellium in the 5ths but Aquarius rising with Uranus in the 1st and we are solely friends but the sexual tension is so real and we always pretend to be dating and like post eachother and stuff. He’s like my boyfriend but not fr.

I have a lot of 5th house stelliums in synastry apparently😂. Me and my guy friends have 5 planets in the 5th house and north node and they are all opposite Pluto and when he mentions another girl I get so tense and idek why lol. we’re not dating or anything I just get soooo triggered I had to stop talking to him for like 6th months cause he broughtt his girl best friend around me. But he’s like the same and he’s literally always going off on someone who hits on me every time we hangout. And my friend says she feels weird cause whenever she talks to me he like places himself right between us. We should never date cause it would be a nightmare😭.

At the same time we are always posting dates together (5th house stellium) and it makes people so jealous (Pluto in the 11th).

Saturn in the first house composite has been such a let down for me. On the one hand the relationship has longevity, but on the other it takes sooo long to get started that it’s over before it even begins and then it takes sooo long to move on from. I think both people put a lot of effort in and they don’t want to let go.

That’s all for now let me know what you guys want more of!

my chart readings are available:))

[readingiskeepingmegoing]

The fact that you posted this on my birthday made me squeal with glee!

My first thoughts were of the way Dieter had taken care of me in every way possible after the show. He brought me home, made an amazing dinner, and ran a hot bath as he promised. He joined me in the tub, massaging my neck, shoulders, and back as he his lips trailed behind his hands - managing to get me completely relaxed and turned on in the process. He followed that with a scalp massage as he washed the product from my hair before rinsing with the handheld sprayer. I offered to wash his in return since it still had all of the gel in it from the show, but he refused, instead drying me off and sending me to bed while he jumped in the shower.

He really is an acts of service love language kind of guy, isn't he? His desire to give the care which he himself has lacked is so adorable

He really was putting in the effort to experience all forms of intimacy, always looking out for me and taking care of me in ways that Alec had never even tried.

Asshat Alec! Such a douchebag. 😒

Even as my brain shouted at me to slow things down, my body craved him.

Kat is all of us, and we are Kat!

He smiled and nodded against the pillow, “So good. It’s so much better with you here.”  I felt my heart flutter as his chocolate eyes danced around my face. I could see that strange look there again, like he wanted to say something but didn’t. 

Both of them just need to say it. Acknowledge that it has happened fast and that they need to be careful, but stop dancing around the subject (pun fully intended) 😂

He continued, “I’ll get a new number, OK? I was thinking about doing it anyway because I’m pretty sure one of my dealers texted me the other day…I blocked him…just so we’re clear.” 

I love that his first thought is to get a new number and not try to just explain it away. That is a lot growth from Dieteer, pre-rehab pre-Kat Dieter wouldn't have done that.

A soft curl fell down over his eyes as he glanced down to place his hands and began strumming a bluesy intro. His demeanor shifted, seeming almost melancholy as he began to sing.

🥹

That song is so perfect for Dieter, it made me really emotional.

He lifted his head, pressing it against mine as he hugged me just a little tighter.   “Thank you for coming. I needed this…needed you.”  

I love that they are so in tune with each other. 

There was no question about it now, I was in love with him. It ran deeper than it ever had with Alec or anyone else. The realization caused my heart to race as the anxiety set in. Was this too fast? Too soon? We’re either of us really ready for this?  

Is it too fast? Probably.  

Is it too soon? More than likely.  

Are they both ready for it? Absolutely!  

“I think I should maybe tell you why I had such a strong reaction to the Alec thing…it’s sort of the root of everything…why I am the way I am…” 

😭

It explains so much. My heart aches for him.  

I love that Evan has been there for him from the beginning though.  

Things were definitely evolving between us, yet again. After the events from earlier in the day, I could tell something had changed. It was like all of the broken pieces of our being were slowly falling back into place and somehow converging into one. With every new piece that found its place, our connection steadily grew. Part of me questioned if it was real or just being overblown and intensified by the circumstances we found ourselves in. I hated to think like that, but it was something to consider.  

Dont over think it Kat. Just let it happen. You both need it, and you need each other. 

He huffed as he mumbled out a gravelly, “Fine.” Then he turned, snuggling Zee instead. “Guess I’ll just cuddle my other cat then.”  

She stood with her hands on her hips as she looked me up and down, “I thought he was done bringing hussies home?” 

I love Cora instantly. No nonsense is precisely what Dieter needs to keep him in line. 

She sighed, “Kat, seriously?” She paused and rubbed at the crease between her brows as she continued, “So there is something to that TMZ article then? Please tell me he at least fucked some sense into you and made ya realize that Alec was a shitty lay?” 

🙌🏻

I feel like Lydia and Cora would get along famously. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. There’s nothing wrong with it, woman. You don’t have to have freshly cooked protein with every meal.” 

You've spoiled her, there's no going back now. She's a queen and will only accept queenly meals. 

Omg he did the foot thing! 

He reached up to brush a stray hair away from my face as he took me in, “You know…I wouldn’t be upset if every night for the rest of my life ended like this…with us together…you make me happier than I ever thought possible.”   He kissed the top of my head, seeming to sense my anxiety, then leaned his cheek against it as he spoke, “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that…I wanna take things at a pace you're OK with. I don’t want you to feel rushed. I mean it when I say you’re important to me and…I don’t wanna fuck this up.” 

Get out of your head Kat. Just let him love you the way you deserve. It will heal you both.  

There was no question about my feelings for her. I knew I was in love, but did the intensity between us mean she felt the same about me?

She does, she'll get to the point where she can tell you, just keep doing what you're doing.

“What do they mean when they say SuccDee? Is that a dirty plant joke? I don’t understand the context.” 

That made me cackle so hard.

This fact was sort of blowing my mind as I peeked over at Zee, the mention of her name rousing her from a deep sleep. “Damn Zee, I wish you could talk. I wanna know what they say…Maybe I should talk to them more?”

Oh, we need to have Kat sneak up on Dieter while he's talking to the plants!

Zee chose that moment to paw a glass that was still about one fourth of the way full of water off the coffee table, which broke our spell and the glass. 

Zee is getting so naughty. I can't decide if she's feeling a bit put out that her parents are paying each other more attention than they are paying her or if she now feels completely comfortable and at home and this is the real Zee, Mischief Maker #1.

She snorted, “My plants are lucky to get water. They come to my house to survive, not live.”  I shook my head and scoffed out a laugh, “That’s just depressing. Don’t tell me that. Imma have to start checking in on them.” 

Hmmm, how long until those plants relocate to Dieter's house?

I hadn't recovered from reading the beach/kitchen scene in the teaser!

I shrugged even though he couldn’t see me, “I kind of don’t care. I’m going with it. I’ll head it off and do a cryptic Instagram post. Besides, it might be fun to fuck with Stacia and Joe some. I wanna see their heads explode when they realize their fairytale showmance isn’t happening after all.”

Bahahahahahaha! Stacia will be devastated 🤣

I chuckled, “Ahh, filling up the spank bank then. I’m flattered.” I gave her a cocky grin and waggled my eyebrows, “If you want some nudes all you have to do is ask. I might even let you take them yourself.” 

I posted it. There was no caption, only emojis, “👉👌🤯🤯🤯😏” 

He's such a menace.

As I was finishing up with Zee’s gourmet meal, Kat came into the kitchen. Her brows furrowed as she pointed her finger to something behind me and busted out her best mom voice, “Zee, don’t you dare.” 

Zee is so naughty, she gets that from her daddy.

I gave him my new number, then he sent me a text message so I could save his to my contact list. That was a development I wasn’t expecting, but I was strangely happy about it.

This made me emotional. He's growing his circle and finding friends. I love this for him 🥹

Marc seemed extremely interested in this, leaning forward with excitement in his eyes, “That’s amazing. I was actually considering doing the same. I still haven’t decided if I’m gonna do another season or not…but I did want to look at something like that when I’m finished. Maybe we can team up.” 

That sounds like such an amazing idea. I think it would work well for all involved.

They definitely fucked, at least once.  Nobody pay attention to that vibrating sound… This is how pornos start. I’m not mad about it.  So, IT IS a throuple then?  I think Dieter’s secret lady likes to watch. I don’t blame her…Kat’s ass is a work of art.  I’m still calling it a conspiracy. Kat is the beach chic. I know that ass and those thighs.  

The Dieterina stans are definitely not buying their little ruse.

We need more friendly get-togethers like this, while Dieter and Kat are building their little family at home, they are also building their community.

That song is so perfect for Dieter and Kat, I'm so glad you liked it 😘

Marc was still chuckling as he said, “I’m sure Stacia and Joe are gonna have a lot to say about that.”

Hahahahaha, Stacia going to be trying her damndest to figure what is going on and what she can use for ratings.

I don’t think I paid a lick of attention to anything the judges actually said. All I know is we got another perfect score, putting us in first place - again.

As if they could be anywhere else. It has to be killing Alec that they are doing so well.

I 100% blame Mr. Pascal for his holiday beach antics.

It's like he knew you needed a little something to get you going 😂

Dieter and Kat are getting pretty close. They are completely embedding each other in the other's life. All of Dieter's people know now and Kat's sister knows. Dieter is pouring his heart out and sharing about his past, yet Kat is still in her head about everything. Do we smell drama brewing there?

I feel like at some point Kat is going to have a wobbly moment and try to shut Dieter out, and he's going to have to do his damnedest to coax her out of her spiral.

They've also made some new friends. How are we feeling about Marc and crew? Good or bad?

I love that they are making friends. It's good that they have support against Alec, Stacia and Joe.

Dieter has started his Instagram live shit. More to come on that. Also...his Instagram posts, that man is stirring up all the drama with those. Good or bad idea?

I loved his Live. It could be a good outlet for him, as long as people keep their peace in the comments. He's not going to stand for any disrespect of Kat from anyone.

Closed Position: Week 7 (Paso Doble)

Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist Dieter Bravo x OFC (Katarina)

Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition, Dancing with the Stars, would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble.

Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on the show to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo.

Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.

Chapter Word Count: 28.5k (I went off the rails again.)

👉 Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence (not by or toward Dieter), past alcohol abuse, and past drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.

👉 Chapter Warnings: Dieter and Kat both being a menace, smut, fluff, angst in the form of discussions about childhood trauma (including homophobic comments)

Chapter Quote: “I actually meant what I said earlier…I’m bending you over the counter and fucking you when we get back to the house.”

Kat’s POV When I awoke on Tuesday morning, my body felt strangely satiated after the previous evening's exploits. My mind, however, was swirling with more thoughts and emotions than I could process. My first thoughts were of the way Dieter had taken care of me in every way possible after the show. He brought me home, made an amazing dinner, and ran a hot bath as he promised. He joined me in the tub, massaging my neck, shoulders, and back as he his lips trailed behind his hands - managing to get me completely relaxed and turned on in the process. He followed that with a scalp massage as he washed the product from my hair before rinsing with the handheld sprayer. I offered to wash his in return since it still had all of the gel in it from the show, but he refused, instead drying me off and sending me to bed while he jumped in the shower. I didn’t even bother to get dressed, choosing to collapse into the fluffy duvet completely naked.

I was lying stretched out on my stomach when Dieter came out of the bathroom and crawled up my body, continuing where he left off as he massaged my thighs and hips for several minutes. He eventually moved upward, peppering kisses along my spine until he reached my neck. I tilted my head to give him better access as he rubbed his patchy beard against my skin. The length of his body pressed against mine, which made it obvious he was aroused. 

His teeth grazed my earlobe, causing me to moan and arch my ass upward into him. He nipped and sucked at my neck as he pressed his hard length against me. My hand found its way to the hair at the top of his head, tugging slightly as I told him I needed him again. He wasted no time, positioning himself at my entrance and slowly sinking in. He covered my body with his, pinning me to the bed as he began his steady, but slow rhythm. After propping himself up on his left elbow, his hand found mine and entwined our fingers together, squeezing it tightly. His right hand roamed my body before finding a home under my chin, tilting my head back so he could give me an upside-down kiss on the lips. 

As things got more intense, I collapsed, face down into the plush bedding as he continued to lavish my neck and shoulder with attention from his mouth. My fingers tangled in his hair again as I turned my head to search for his lips. After a passionate kiss, he pulled away and rested his forehead against the side of my temple. We stayed like that for a time, inhaling each other's breath and getting lost in the sensations that our bodies were creating as we moved as one. 

It was almost foreign to me, how he could make any position feel that intimate. It didn’t matter if we could stare deeply into each other's eyes or not, I could still feel the connection with him. It was there in the way he touched and held me. Our bodies communicated in ways I had never experienced - using all the senses to bond us together. I surmised that it had to be because of the way that we spent our time together, building something that I couldn’t really understand or explain. 

The past week with Dieter had been strangely domesticated. It was full of homemade meals and lots of cuddling. He stuck to his word about keeping this thing between us as something more, not always turning to sex for a connection. He really was putting in the effort to experience all forms of intimacy, always looking out for me and taking care of me in ways that Alec had never even tried. I hated him doing so much, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Even when things would get heated between us, he would keep his focus on me and expect nothing in return. Always being perfectly satisfied with a good cuddle and head scratches.

However, after all of our incredibly intimate moments, I still felt like he was holding something back. I could see it in his eyes, often swimming with some sort of emotion. I didn’t want to push him because I knew he would open up eventually. I did sometimes worry that he was hiding something that he thought might upset me. For as connected as we were, it still felt like parts of him were a mystery.

Those thoughts didn’t seem to dampen my need to be near him though. The one night I went home to rest because I wasn’t feeling well was strangely lonely and unsettling. I didn’t get a lot of sleep, having thoughts of Alec sneaking in under the cover of darkness and choking me in my slumber definitely didn’t help. I hadn’t felt that anxious since the incident, now realizing it was because of Dieter. He was keeping those fears away without even trying. They were gone as soon as I reunited with him. When I went to his house the following night, I fell asleep without a worry in the world because he was there with me. 

I did appreciate Dieter’s need to focus on intimacy outside of sex. We managed a whole week without it, but after all the closeness of the week and the fire that blazed between us during our Argentine Tango performance, I couldn’t hold out anymore. I shocked myself when I suggested we fuck in the dressing room. That was one thing I had never done even though Alec tried to initiate it multiple times. I was always too worried about getting caught. It was different with Dieter though. He was slowly waking something up inside of me that I didn’t recognize. The way I craved him had reached a boiling point and I couldn’t fight it anymore. I wanted him in every way he would let me have him. 

I had never really been a fan of rough sex in the past, but as with everything else, it was different with Dieter. There was the connection between us of course, but he was also passionate. He somehow managed to turn it into something else, full of emotion and sensuality. It was a lot to process and to be honest, the sheer aching need that I had for him was scaring the hell out of me. He was quickly becoming an addiction for me. The way he made me feel confident, desired, and cared for was all the things that I had been missing, and it was thrilling. Even as my brain shouted at me to slow things down, my body craved him. After fucking in the dressing room, I still needed more. 

As his body moved against mine, his scent completely engulfed me - making me feel intoxicated by him. My skin was tingling from his affectionate touches, my lips burning from his passionate kisses, and my heart skipping beats from whatever this emotion was that was taking over my very being. His soft sighs and deep groans against my ear sent shivers down my spine and had me coming undone underneath him in no time. He followed soon after, nearly collapsing on top of me before moving to the left, still half draped across my body. 

His hands ghosted over my skin as he placed the occasional kiss on my shoulder, eventually dozing off for the night after flipping the duvet over us. That was how we still found ourselves this morning, his steady exhales blowing against the base of my neck, causing my skin to break out in goosebumps. I could feel the weight of Zee laying across my feet, both of them cocooning me in warmth. Everything about it felt so right, yet a little voice in the back of my head still questioned it. It was almost too good to be true. 

Dieter stirred, nuzzling his face further into the crook of my neck as he inhaled deeply and hugged me tighter against him. 

My sleep filled voice greeted him, “Good morning.”

He sighed as he kissed my shoulder, “Morning, beautiful.” 

To Zee’s dismay, I turned over to face him. She grumbled as she got situated again. We both snickered at her before turning our attention back to each other. I could partially make out a crease down the side of his face from laying on the blanket. I smiled as I ran my finger along it. “You sleep well?” I finally asked. 

He smiled and nodded against the pillow, “So good. It’s so much better with you here.” 

I felt my heart flutter as his chocolate eyes danced around my face. I could see that strange look there again, like he wanted to say something but didn’t. 

I cleared my throat, “You ready for another production meeting this morning?”

He rolled his eyes, inhaling deeply before answering. “I don’t see why we have to meet with them every week. Can’t they just send that shit in an email?”

I chuckled, “They could…but then they couldn’t be nosey and try to make drama for the show.”

“Ugh, such bullshit. Why can’t they just let the show be about dancing?”

I gave him a tight smile, “That’s not how they get high ratings.” 

Dieter's phone rang on the nightstand, ruining our morning chat. He sighed, turning to grab the shrilling device and finding his agent’s name flashing across the screen. He pressed ‘answer’ and brought it to his ear, “You should know better than to call me this early in the morning, Lenny.” 

I could hear a deep chuckle on the other end of the line, “Sorry to call you so early, D…but we have a potential issue. There are rumors circulating that there was a serious altercation with you and Kat’s ex last week. Is there any truth to that? Does that have anything to do with the schedule changes?”

Dieter puffed air out of his cheeks as he glanced over at me. He had obviously kept his agent in the dark about that. 

“There was…a minor incident. He attacked Kat and I pulled him off her. They did change our schedules around so that Kat doesn’t have to be near him.” 

“Damnit Dieter…can you please stay out of trouble? You’re on the upswing right now…”

I could tell Dieter was frustrated as his jaw tensed. “Sorry Len, but I’m not gonna stand by while someone close to me gets mistreated. I’m sure the public can understand that.” 

Lenny sighed loudly into the phone, “Fine…you’re right. I’ll get Janine on it and see if she can put out the fire. If you get any questions about it, don’t answer them. Maybe it’ll go away. I’m told there are some pap pics of the guy though…and his face is busted up. So, I’m not sure if it will.” 

Dieter’s brows furrowed, “Is he saying anything about it?”

“No, it’s mostly speculation I think…but they know for sure there have been schedule changes. It’s TMZ, you know how they draw conclusions about shit.” 

Dieter nodded, “Yeah, well…my lips are sealed. I’m confident Janine can handle it as long as that douchebag isn’t running his mouth. I’m sure he doesn’t want people to know about it anyway.”

The call ended soon after that as it was time for us to get ready for our production meeting. It wasn’t long before we found ourselves sitting in front of our two favorite people, Stacia and Joe. They were unusually pleasant, making small talk and checking in with me to make sure I was doing ok, and that Alec hadn’t been out of line since they had apparently had a conversation with him after our last meeting. Stacia, of course, complemented our last performance, making a point to mention how great our chemistry was on the dance floor. She was fishing for anything she could get her hands on, but we gave her nothing. We politely thanked her and redirected our conversation to this week's performance. 

I had to bite back a groan when Joe gave us our dance for the week, the Paso Doble with a traditional Spanish style song called Uccen. It was definitely going to wear me out. I had a feeling Dieter would enjoy it since the dance was more focused on the man’s performance, but I could already envision him whining about how tired he was. 

They handed over the costume sketches, putting us both in all red again, which wasn’t unusual. Black and red were pretty typical looks for this dance.  My costume had a Spanish feel to it with layers of fabric that bunched up in the back. It was shorter in the front and very flowy. It had a halter top with the same flowy fabric draped to cover the necessary areas, leaving the back completely open. They had Dieter in a red suit with a textured button up shirt. After approving the looks, we were pretty much done with the meeting. I was thankful this one was drama free. I did not need my day ruined by them. 

After the meeting, we continued our tradition of grabbing lunch together. We settled on a small cafe nearby. The staff seated us on the outdoor patio, so we made sure to be on our best behavior because there were eyes everywhere. We were even approached by a few fans to take pictures and happily obliged. Dieter was all smiles as he interacted with them, seeming perfectly at ease while I was still trying to get used to having this much attention from strangers. He seemed to sense my anxiousness, smiling gently as he reached over to give my hand a quick squeeze after they left us. 

(More after the graphic.)

We were off to the dance studio for rehearsals after that, beginning the week like we always did, by listening to our song. Dieter’s head bobbed along with the fast-paced Spanish and mediterranean style guitars mixed with folk undertones. It was obvious this would be different from anything we had done thus far. 

Once the music concluded, I clapped my hands together dramatically, “Ok, Bravo. You’re probably about to love and hate this dance.”

His brows furrowed, “Why?”

I huffed out a laugh, “Because it’s dramatic and fun, but it’s also gonna wear your ass out.” 

His brows arched as he gave me a wide-eyed stare, “I mean, you do that already.” 

I rolled my eyes and fought a smile as I stood from where we were seated on the floor, then pulled him up to join me.

“So, the Paso Doble comes from sixteenth century Spain and France. It literally translates to ‘double step’ and it’s very high energy and very…theatrical…meant to imitate a bullfighter and his cape. You would be the matador in this instance…the star of the show. I need you to have strong posture and emote power with your body and facial expressions. I’ll be your cape, with more graceful and fluid movements at times. We’re gonna be doing sort of a marching style rhythm with staccato footwork along with that. Like I said, it’s fun…but tiring.” 

Dieter gave me a tight smile, “Can we look at some videos of this before we get started? I feel like that might help get me going. I have a feeling what I’m envisioning ain’t it.” 

I couldn’t help but laugh at him. At least he was honest. He went into full work mode after that, studying each video I pulled up for him. After an hour of video watching and making notes on some things that stood out to us, we got started on the basics. He picked those up quickly, allowing us to begin planning our choreography. 

As predicted, Dieter was gasping for air and whining about being exhausted before the rehearsal time was over. Not that I could blame him, I was too. And it was only the first day. He was doing amazing though, and I made sure to tell him as much. I knew he would enjoy the theatrics of this dance which helped make up for how much work was involved. 

We basically crashed when we got back to his place. After seven and a half hours of going non-stop, we were spent. We barely had the energy to eat dinner and shower before climbing into bed early, tangling ourselves up together and zonking out for the night. 

We started our Wednesday morning off with Dieter receiving a text from Janine, his publicist. It was a link to a newly posted TMZ article.

I watched as he leaned across the kitchen island and scanned the article. His eyes crossed as he let out an annoyed groan and passed the phone to me. 

(More after the graphic.)

Dieterina Spotted Getting Cozy During Lunch After Alleged On-Set Drama Dancing with the Stars (DWTS) fan favorites Dieter Bravo and Katarina Stamos were spotted having lunch at a LA cafe yesterday. Witnesses say they seemed very cozy and touchy during their meal in between posing for pictures with fans.  This sighting comes after rumors began to circulate about a possible altercation between Dieter and Kat’s ex, professional dancer Alec Balaska, after last week's live show. If you recall, Dieter and Kat set the ballroom ablaze with their sultry performance and intense chemistry during their Argentine Tango, which earned them a perfect score for the week. It’s easy to see how that could have caused tensions to rise backstage. We have no confirmation that Dieter and Kat are officially an item, but they definitely seem to be getting close.  TMZ sources have not confirmed the altercation took place, but we can confirm there have been schedule changes that appear to have happened in an effort to keep Dieter and Kat separated from Alec as much as possible. It must also be noted that Kat did not dance with the same group as Alec during last week’s professional performances, which could help back those claims.  Alec was spotted out and about in LA with his DWTS partner and new love interest, Lana Thompson, earlier this week. He appeared to have bruises on his face but gave no response as to how he got them. His reps refused to comment. We reached out to Dieter’s publicist who also refused to comment on the situation. 

Included with the article were pictures of Dieter and I at the cafe. There were several with his hand resting atop mine as he smiled my way. There were also several zoomed in stills of our Argentine Tango performance along with an embedded video and pictures of Alec and Lana seated in Alec’s car. 

I sighed, “They really will post anything for clicks, won’t they?”

Dieter nodded, “Yep, bullshit…as usual. For all they know, he could have fallen on his face during rehearsal. It’s plausible…I’ve done it enough to know.” 

I chuckled, nodding in agreement. Just as I was about to hand Dieter’s phone back, a text popped up. There was no name, only a number. I felt my stomach drop when I unintentionally read the message. 

646-333-4545: It was nice bumping into you. Call me, so we can get together. I do miss having your mouth on me. 😉

I slid the phone toward him as I tried to control my breathing, “Umm…you have a text.” 

He picked up his phone, brows furrowing in confusion as he read it. “I have no idea who that is…I’ve not bumped into anyone.” 

I watched as he swiped, then selected ‘block’ on the screen.

I didn’t say anything, but my face must have. When he finally looked at me, I could see the worry in his eyes. 

He began shaking his head as he approached me, “I swear I don’t know who that is…maybe that actress from New York? I haven’t bumped into anyone besides her…I didn’t even have the number saved. I-I’ve been getting a lot of texts like this since SNL…people trying to hit me up to party. I’ve blocked them all, you can check. Maybe I just need to get a new number…I deleted everyone I didn’t need to talk to when I got out of rehab. I swear…”

The longer he rambled, the more panicked he sounded. I took a deep centering breath, realizing I needed to give him some leniency. It was obvious he didn’t have the number saved, and that bitch had been pushy. 

He continued, “I’ll get a new number, OK? I was thinking about doing it anyway because I’m pretty sure one of my dealers texted me the other day…I blocked him…just so we’re clear.” 

I gave him a tight smile as I reached to cup his cheek, “Hey, it's OK. I believe you.” 

He visibly relaxed into my touch, “I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think I’m doing shady shit, because I’m not. I won’t do that to you.” 

The rational part of my brain finally caught up to my emotions. We've spent ninety-five percent of our time together since we got back from New York. I would have noticed something if he was talking to other people. He was rarely on his phone, and when he was, I was usually at his side looking at it with him as we watched funny videos together.

I pulled him in for a hug, “It’s OK. I have no reason to think you’re lying.”

He backed away, “Imma text Evan right now actually…and have him take care of all that. I want zero doubts.” 

And he did text Evan after that. I never would have asked him to change his number, but the fact that he offered and got right on it did make me feel better. Alec never would have offered. It was another reminder of how completely different they were. 

Dieter made sure to take a few minutes to apologize, cuddling on the couch before I had to leave for the professional's dance rehearsal and him for his weekly therapy session. By the time I walked out the door with promises to meet up with him at the dance studio for our evening rehearsal, the whole incident was an afterthought.    

The professional’s dance rehearsal definitely had a new vibe. I could tell other cast members were looking at me differently - curiosity maybe? I tried not to pay them any attention, allowing Marc to distract me from it when we weren’t receiving instructions. He and Stefanie both had become allies in this whole mess. Given that they knew what actually happened, I had to respect that they were keeping the information quiet while not so subtly choosing a side. Marc had mentioned that people were asking him what he knew, but he refused to comment. He really was a good guy, I hadn’t given him enough credit for that in the past. 

Once we wrapped up rehearsal for the day, I made my way over to grab my water bottle. As I took small sips, I picked up my phone to scroll through the missed notifications. I had a text message from my sister asking why she hadn’t heard from me and telling me to call her. Since I had been spending all of my free time with Dieter, I had pretty much gone radio silent with her. I shot her a quick response, promising to call her the following day since we had a late rehearsal. 

I was silently debating if I should tell my sister about my relationship with Dieter as I moved on to the Instagram notifications. My brows furrowed when I came to the notification that said, ‘bangingbravo1 was live (45 min ago)’.  Well, that’s new. 

I quickly collected my things, telling Marc goodbye as I made my way to the car. After tossing my bag into the back, I sank down into the driver’s seat, pulling my phone out as I closed and locked the doors. My curiosity was making me anxious to see what Dieter was up to since this wasn’t something he normally did. I wasted no time opening Instagram and clicking the notification. He was no longer live, but the video was posted to his story. 

It appeared that he was sitting in the same spot he had been in when he and I played guitars together all those weeks ago. His black acoustic sat perched on his lap as he briefly fiddled with the camera. He then proceeded to strum and tune the instrument for a short time before glancing up and smiling, welcoming his growing number of viewers. He took a few minutes, answering questions that popped up - some about Zee, some about his plants. Someone must have asked about me, causing him to smirk as he explained that I was at dance rehearsal for the professionals, noting that he and I would be rehearsing later in the day. Then he cleared his throat, getting to the reason for going live.

“So…I’ve been getting a lot of messages and comments asking me to do more playing and singing. I hear you…so, we’re gonna give this a try and see how it goes.”

A soft curl fell down over his eyes as he glanced down to place his hands and began strumming a bluesy intro. His demeanor shifted, seeming almost melancholy as he began to sing.

This song has two very different versions and I love both. Give them a listen. 🎶Version 1 🎶 Version 2

When the sins of my father / Weigh down in my soul / And the pain of my mother / Will not let me go / Well, I know there can come fire from the sky / To refine the purest of kings / And even though I know this fire brings me pain / Even so, And just the same

His voice was full of emotion and grit as his unblinking eyes fixed on something just out of frame. He sounded soulful, but there was an edge of pain to the lyrics as they appeared to have deeper meaning to him. I knew him well enough to know that he was feeling the words, seeming to dredge up old memories or feelings. It had me wondering what he had discussed with his therapist that morning, because I knew he didn’t pick that song at random. Music was an outlet for him. It meant something. 

All seed needs the water / Before it grows out of the ground / But it just keeps on getting hard / And the hunger more profound / Well, I know there can come tears from the eyes / But they may as well all be in vain / Even though I know these tears come with pain / Even so, And just the same

His line of sight drifted, appearing to focus on nothing as he took on a far-away look. A deep crease formed between his brows, his eyes turning somewhat glassy as he belted out the next verse. I had never seen him like this, but I knew that look all too well from experience. He was reliving something from his past. Something painful that had potentially shaped him into the man he had become - both the old and new version of himself. 

And let the clouds fill with thunderous applause / And let lightning be the veins / And fill the sky with all that they can drop / When it's time to make a change

As he finished out the song with the last few refrains of the chorus, I realized tears were streaming down my cheeks. Every hair on my body was standing on end as my flesh pebbled from the sound of his voice. I could feel it in my soul. The connection that he and I seemed to share only made me feel it that much deeper. I couldn’t recall anything ever having affected me like this before. 

After the last lyric left his lips, he inhaled deeply to center himself. He sat silently for a beat, then his eyes flicked up to the camera. They were pools of emotion as he gave a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He was obviously reading the flood of comments filling the stream. Then he finally spoke. 

“You all are too kind…it’s more than I probably deserve.” 

He paused, swallowing thickly as he continued to read the comments. He nodded, “I’ll uhh, yeah, I’ll do another live soon…thank you.”

After saying his goodbyes, the stream ended. I had to take a moment to pull myself together. We were supposed to meet at the dance studio for rehearsal in an hour and a half, but I couldn’t wait. Something told me that I needed to go to him. So, I did. 

When I got to his house, I knocked and rang the doorbell, but there was no answer. Figuring he was still upstairs and maybe couldn’t hear it, I tried the doorknob. To my surprise, it was unlocked. So, I let myself in and headed toward his sanctuary. 

I found him with wireless headphones on, slouched back into the chair and lazily strumming the strings on his guitar. He still had that vacant far-away look in his eyes as he stared at nothing. My movement in the doorway must have caught his attention because his eyes snapped toward me as he paused his motions. 

His brows furrowed as he pulled the headphones off, giving a small smile as he asked, “What are you doing here? I thought we were meeting at the dance studio?”

Moving toward him, I could tell something was off. He looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and I hated it. As I stood in front of him, our gazes met. He sighed, then placed the guitar back on its stand next to the chair and set the headphones on the floor beside it. His eyes met mine as he worried at his bottom lip with his teeth. 

“Are you OK?” I finally asked. 

His shoulders slumped as he leaned back in his seat and scratched at his patchy beard, now avoiding my gaze. 

“No. But I’m gettin’ there. One day at a time…”

My feet carried me forward as I reached to run my hands through the top of his messy curls. He sighed as his arms found their way around my waist, pulling me to him so he could rest his head against my chest. I needed to be closer, shifting so that I could raise first the right, then the left leg to straddle his lap. He hugged me tighter as he buried his face into the curve of my neck and inhaled deeply. I could feel him relaxing more and more with each breath that he took. 

He lifted his head, pressing it against mine as he hugged me just a little tighter. 

“Thank you for coming. I needed this…needed you.” 

My nose brushed against his, “You have me. Tell me what you need from me.” 

He shook his head, “I…I don’t know.”

My right hand moved to his chest. I could feel his heart thrumming away under my palm as his eyes pooled with tears and his breathing became shallow. He seemed lost. I needed to bring him back and ground him to the present. 

After extracting myself from his embrace, I stood, taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom. I pulled him into a deep kiss, eventually breaking away to slowly undress him and trail soft touches and kisses along his body. His hands explored every inch of newly exposed skin as I undressed myself next. Once we were bare, I led him to the bed where we both lay down facing each other. He pulled me against him, tangling limbs together as we held each other. His face found its way back to the curve of my neck as he took deep and steady breaths to calm himself. I cradled his head against me, gently running my fingers through his fluffy curls to soothe him. 

We stayed like that for a time. Strangely, it didn’t feel sexual at all. Yet, it had to be one of the most intimate moments I had ever experienced with another person. He was showing me his vulnerability, sharing his pain with me as our bare skin touched from head to toe - allowing ourselves to be connected physically and emotionally without judgement. The intensity of it was scary but also mixed with a strange feeling of relief and security. It was a hard feeling to wrap my head around as I tried to stay present for him. 

Once his breathing settled to normal, he pulled away to meet my gaze with a serene expression. His eyes danced around my face as his hand glided up and down the side of my body. I would give anything to know what was going on in his head at that moment. The way he was looking at me caused the air to crackle around us. It felt like there was something he wanted to say, but instead, he leaned forward and captured my lips with his. It was slow, passionate, and needy. 

We melted into each other, further deepening the connection that I currently felt humming between us. As I moved against him, touching and tasting his skin, I could feel his hardness growing and rubbing against my center. He groaned into my mouth as I began to grind against it, coating his length in my arousal. He wasted no time shifting so that he was between my thighs and sinking in to the hilt as he caged me in between his arms. His hips didn’t move, but he continued to kiss me deeply as I hugged him tightly. 

Several minutes passed before we broke apart. His hips finally began their painfully slow thrusts as we got lost in each other's eyes. This didn’t feel like it was about the sex for him. Maybe it was his way of staying grounded in the present. Or, perhaps it was about strengthening whatever bond was forming between us. Maybe it was even a little bit of both. There were definitely some strong emotions swirling around us as we moved together. It was almost overwhelming, causing my chest to tighten and tears to prickle at the corners of my eyes. 

There was no question about it now, I was in love with him. It ran deeper than it ever had with Alec or anyone else. The realization caused my heart to race as the anxiety set in. Was this too fast? Too soon? We’re either of us really ready for this? 

Dieter seemed to sense the shift in my thoughts, reaching to run his fingertips down the side of my face as he nudged his nose against mine. It helped calm me some but did nothing to dampen the sudden and intense rush of emotions I was feeling for him. 

The languid pace in which he was moving drew out how long this all lasted, but it felt right. We were completely lost in each other, causing the world around us to blur and cease to exist. It was the slowest build to a release that I had ever experienced. When I finally fell over the edge, it was intense and euphoric, seeming to go on forever. I felt like I was floating and the only thing keeping me tethered to this plane was Dieter. He followed behind me soon after, unable to hold it back as my walls contracted around him. He pressed his forehead against mine, his eyes clenching shut as he spilled into me with a deep groan that turned to quiet whimpers with the last few thrusts of his hips. 

He sighed heavily against my lips, clearly savoring the high he was riding after his release. I peppered small kisses around his face as I brushed back his sweaty curls. His dark eyes finally opened, meeting mine before capturing my mouth with his. He broke away to catch his breath, both of us still gulping for air as we took each other in. 

He eventually shifted to lay facing me as I turned toward him. His hand slid around my waist to pull me closer. We were nose to nose when he finally spoke, “I think I should maybe tell you why I had such a strong reaction to the Alec thing…it’s sort of the root of everything…why I am the way I am…”

I took a deep breath, “Ok…but I don’t want you to feel like you have to. Only tell me if you want to…and if you’re ready.” 

He nodded, “I want to…I think it’ll help you understand me a little better…and…my therapist thinks I should tell you too.”

I gave him a small smile as I reached to scratch at the scruff on his cheek, continuing to lazily rub in circles as he began to speak. 

“I…didn’t have the best childhood growing up. My dad…he was an asshole. I can’t remember a time when he didn’t abuse my mom, but it got progressively worse over the years. I couldn’t tell you how many times I sat with her or tried to take care of her after he bloodied her up. I remember always feeling helpless when I was younger…I wanted to protect her, but I couldn’t.” 

He paused, sighing heavily as he reached for my hand that was still rubbing at his scruff and entwined our fingers to rest on the bed between us. 

“Of course, that was when she still cared about life…about me. At some point she started drinking…which ultimately made things worse with him. It got to the point where she stayed wasted all the time and didn’t really seem to care about anything. By the time I was a teenager, I was pretty much taking care of myself. My dad left me alone for the most part, until I started interfering with their fights…trying to protect her.” 

He swallowed thickly as his eyes turned glassy, “I thought…maybe if I could protect her…that I could get her back…matter to her again. You know what I mean? I just felt so alone…abandoned even…just existing. It only made things worse though. My dad no longer held back from directing his anger at me and it just seemed to push my mom further away.” 

He scoffed as he squeezed my hand a little tighter, “Hell, there were times I think she was happy he was taking it out on someone besides her.”

I could see the pain that realization caused him as a deep crease formed between his brows. He stared, unblinking, at our intertwined hands as he continued. 

“When I was in high school, I joined the drama club. For once, I had several close friends. That’s when I realized my sexual preferences…varied…and I started exploring my preferences within that group. Anyway, there was this one guy I spent a lot of time with. It wasn’t serious, but we had a thing. I guess someone saw us together at the mall and we were obvious about it. Word got back to my dad, and he absolutely lost his shit over it. No son of his was gonna be like that. He called me every slur you can think of while he tried to ‘beat the gayness out of me’. That was one of the times I snapped on him. I got in a few good hits, but he still beat the hell out of me.”

The tears finally spilled down his cheeks. He sniffled a little before he continued. 

“It was pretty bad…and the sad part was…my mom couldn’t bother to care. She didn’t check on me once. After spending a day in bed and feeling like I was dying, I managed to drag myself over to Evan’s house. I lied and told everyone I got mugged. His mom ended up taking me to the ER…I had a concussion and a couple of broken ribs. Of course, all my parents cared about was the astronomical hospital bill.”

It was my turn for tears now. My heart was breaking for him. I squeezed his hand tighter as I gave him a sympathetic look. 

He sighed and finally met my gaze, “It got pretty unbearable after that. I couldn’t stand being at home. My dad was constantly belittling me and saying things that made me feel like I was a dirty abomination. My mom even said she was disappointed in my behavior at one point...I think that’s when I really started to hate myself. I didn’t feel like I was worthy of being loved or happy…I started having some pretty dark thoughts.”

He paused briefly, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he considered what to say next. 

“Eventually…Evan’s mom took me in after she figured out what was going on. She helped me through the emancipation process so they couldn’t have control over me anymore…but the damage was done. I had already started self-medicating with alcohol…and after I got my big break in Hollywood with money to burn, the slow spiral started. Honestly, I’m not even sure how I’m still alive after some of the shit I’ve done.” 

“What made you finally wanna change things?” I asked. 

He shrugged, “After my third overdose, my agent gave me an ultimatum…either get sober or I was done. None of the studios wanted to work with me anymore because I was a liability…and by that point Evan had quit working for me. He was tired of my shit. I was also damn near bankrupt. Everything just sort of converged and blew up on me at once. So, I took that last stint in rehab seriously. I had sort of an epiphany about getting my life together and wanted to learn how to be happy…exercise the demons out of my life. Somehow, I found a way to do it, but it’s still a struggle some days. Sometimes I get triggered and wanna go back to that dark place…but I’m slowly learning how to cope with it. I’ve found new ways to channel that energy into something positive.”

I suddenly felt a wave of anxiety hit me, realizing that the drama with Alec had been a trigger for him. I felt like shit over it. 

“I’m sorry that I involved you with the Alec stuff. I didn’t realize the sort of effect it was having on you.”

He shook his head, “No, it’s ok. I was worried about you more than anything. I didn’t want you to get hurt…or lose yourself to him. I wanted to keep you safe…and the fact that you gave me a chance…trusted me with that…it meant more to me than you realize.”

I sighed, “But when you found us in the dressing room, I could see it. It did something to you beyond being upset about what he did.” 

His brows furrowed, “It was just…the fact that I wanted to inflict pain on him…it scared me a little. I was worried that I was more like my dad than I realized…that a part of me was violent enough to do the things he did…because I really wanted to. Then I was also afraid that I had scared you…that you would think I was no better than Alec. I didn’t want you to think that I could treat you the same way.”

My lips set into a tight line. I was determined to make him see himself as I do. 

“You’re nothing like either of those men. I know this. You’re just fiercely protective of those you care about…If anything, you’re a nurturer. You’re selfless and enjoy caring for others. You’re an amazing person and worthy of everything good that life brings to you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t believe that.” 

From the way his face scrunched up, I could tell he was fighting back his emotions. I pulled him against me, allowing him to bury his face against my neck as I hugged him. His arms tightened around me as his shoulders began to shake with his quiet sobs. His sniffles became a little more frequent as he allowed himself to feel whatever it was he was feeling. 

He was right, knowing about his past did help me understand him better. His past self-destructive behavior and difficulty with relationships made so much more sense. The fact that he had shared this with me so willingly showed me that he was trying to break the cycle and connect with me in ways that he never had with anyone else. He was still putting in the work to better himself and be happy. 

I continued to sooth him for a time, until he finally pulled away as he wiped his face with a tentative smile, causing his eyes to crinkle around the edges. Realizing that he was obviously feeling better, I gave him an encouraging smile in return.

“You somehow always seem to know what I need before I do. Thank you for not being afraid to show me,” he finally said. 

I chuckled, “I don’t really know. I just know what I would want under the circumstances.”

He hummed as he nuzzled his nose against mine, “So…naked cuddling and slow, mind-blowing sex? Noted.” 

I laughed. It was nice to see his sense of humor returning. 

“Sooo…were you and Evan a thing at one point?” I asked. I couldn’t help being curious about it. 

Dieter snorted, “Hell no. We were in the drama club together, but he doesn't swing that way. Never has. He likes boobs too much. He was there for the chics.” 

I snickered, “Good to know. I didn’t get those vibes between you two, but I had to ask. I didn’t realize he’d been around for that long.” 

He smiled, “Oh yeah, we go way back. I’m not sure I could trust anyone else to handle my stuff the way he does. He actually looks out for me and has my best interest in mind…calls me on my shit when he needs to. I’ve had other assistants that just wanted to enable my bad behavior so they could party and take advantage of me in some way. I can’t be having that anymore.” 

I couldn’t help wondering about his parents after that. He seemed to notice something was on my mind and asked what I was thinking about. 

“Have you had any contact with your parents since you left?” I asked. 

His lips set into a tight line, “Umm well…my mom pretty much drank herself to death. She died years ago…but my dad…I think he’s still around somewhere. It’s been a while, but I’ll occasionally get a call asking for money. I don’t give him shit. That goes over about like you would expect. He hasn’t changed much. He’s still an asshole.” 

I sighed, “I’m sorry.”

He shrugged, “It is what it is. I can’t change him. I can only change myself and how I respond to him.” 

We soon noticed the time, realizing that we were going to be late for our evening rehearsal. After rushing around, we eventually made it to the studio. I think Dieter was happy for the distraction, quickly settling into our routine and focusing on the performance. He was back to his goofy and smiley self, having fun as we tried out a couple of different options for the choreography. At times we behaved a little less professionally as our bodies moved together with lingering touches and lips brushing against any skin they could get near without being completely obvious to anyone who might be passing by. 

Things were definitely evolving between us, yet again. After the events from earlier in the day, I could tell something had changed. It was like all of the broken pieces of our being were slowly falling back into place and somehow converging into one. With every new piece that found its place, our connection steadily grew. Part of me questioned if it was real or just being overblown and intensified by the circumstances we found ourselves in. I hated to think like that, but it was something to consider. 

After rehearsals, I found myself back at Dieter’s house. It was late, so we settled on something quick for dinner. Dieter made sandwiches that were fancier than anything I had ever put together between two pieces of bread. He was incapable of doing things halfway it seemed. 

We got ready for bed after that, going through our newly established routine. We didn’t even bother changing into sleep clothes, now opting to sleep in nothing instead. I crawled into bed, snuggling in while Dieter shut off the lights and made sure the door was cracked for Zee. He slid under the blankets, reaching to pull me against him and tangle our limbs together. After burying his face in my hair, he sighed in contentment and squeezed me just a little tighter. He was asleep within minutes, and I wasn’t too far behind him. 

When I awoke the next morning, Dieter was still snoring lightly against the back of my shoulder. I could just make out Zee’s paw stretched out across the side of his head and disappearing into his mess of curls as she snoozed behind him. I moved to get up, but Dieter groaned and stiffened his arm that was thrown over my middle. 

I chuckled and whined, “Diiieter, I’ve gotta peeee.”

He huffed as he mumbled out a gravelly, “Fine.” Then he turned, snuggling Zee instead. “Guess I’ll just cuddle my other cat then.” 

I laughed at his ridiculousness, shaking my head as I made my way to the bathroom. Once I was finished, I took the opportunity to swipe another one of Dieter’s t-shirts that said ‘Stay Horny for Art’ in large letters across the front. It had me shaking my head all over again as I slipped it on and walked out into the bedroom. I made my way over to his side of the bed, leaning down to ruffle his hair before giving him a quick kiss. 

“I’m gonna go get breakfast started.”

He grabbed my hand, kissing the top of it before groaning and hiding his face from the sunlight that was beginning to sneak through the curtains. I smiled to myself as I pulled away and made my way downstairs. He was too adorable when he was half asleep and needy. 

I was obviously nowhere as good of a cook as Dieter, so I decided to keep it simple. As I was digging through the pantry for pancake ingredients I heard movement in the kitchen. Assuming it was Dieter, I called out to ask, “Do you know where the…”

My words trailed off as I walked out of the pantry to find a petite woman, most likely in her early fifties, with short dark red hair, and a scowl on her face. I stopped in my tracks, taken off guard by her sudden appearance. 

She stood with her hands on her hips as she looked me up and down, “I thought he was done bringing hussies home?”

I nearly choked on my own spit as I sucked in a breath. I shook my head, “No… I’m not…”

She sighed, “Did he relapse again? I’m gonna kick his ass if he did…then quit.” 

That took me by surprise. I liked her already. Spitfire indeed. 

I held my hands out in surrender, “No…he’s fine. He’s still in bed, asleep. You must be Cora, I presume?”

She seemed taken aback that I knew who she was, her face shifting from frustration to confusion before she nodded.

I gave her what I hoped was a polite smile, “I’m Kat. Dieter’s dance partner…”

I could tell when the realization hit because her eyes widened and her mouth fell open slightly before she finally spoke, “I’m not sure what to do with this...” 

I chuckled, “It’s ok…I think this is a learning experience for all of us.” 

Dieter chose that moment to come shuffling into the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of grey gym shorts and black crocs with Zee at his heels on a mission for breakfast. He came to stand next to me so he could wrap his arm around my waist and give me a quick kiss on the cheek, smiling lazily as he turned toward Cora, “I see you’ve finally met my lady. I hope you weren’t too hard on her…”

Cora’s eyebrows lifted up to her hairline as she studied Dieter. If I had to guess, I could only assume he had never acted this way toward anyone in front of her before. She gave a hesitant smile, “Dieter…you wanna tell me what’s going on?”

He pulled me snugly against his chest, “Well…we’re not exactly making it public yet…but Kat and I are together.”

“Together?” she asked. As if she needed confirmation. 

He nodded as he fought a laugh, “Yeah…together. Like…a couple. Dating. Courting. Whatever your generation calls it.”

She gave him an admonishing look, “My generation? I’m not that much older than you, you little shit. You’ll be fifty in no time.”

I clapped a hand over my mouth to hold in the laughter that was threatening to escape. Dieter, on the other hand, cackled over her words. I could already see why he hired her. She was his kind of people. 

Cora rolled her eyes at him before changing the subject back to us. “Well, this makes sense. I knew something was going on with you…you’ve been different lately. I just thought you were slipping back into your old habits and tryin’ ta hide it. I’m happy to see that’s not the case.”

She paused, giving me a mischievous smile before looking back at Dieter. “Looks like you’ve made a good decision for once. I’m not getting floozy, gold digging vibes from this one.”

Dieter chuckled as he turned to look at me with a dimpling smile, “No. She’s definitely not a floozy or a gold digger…she’s perfect.” 

He had that sappy look in his eyes as they danced around my face. His smile widened as my cheeks flushed from his gaze and the words he said so freely. I could feel my heart fluttering in my chest as the thoughts of what that feeling meant, bounced around in my head. I refused to acknowledge it by name, but I knew what it was. The fact that I was falling so hard, so fast, had my mind reeling. I had to quickly pivot my train of thought before a spiral started. My attention shifted back to Cora, who was watching us intently, with a toothy smile. 

Dieter invited her to sit for breakfast as he shuffled things around on the top shelf of the pantry to find the pancake ingredients. After refusing to let me help, I joined Cora on a stool at the island to watch Dieter cook. We slipped into an easy conversation, getting to know each other a little better while also teasing Dieter in any way we could. She was quickly becoming one of my new favorite people. It made me happy to know this was who Dieter was choosing to surround himself with now, even if she was hired help. 

Since we didn’t have to be in rehearsal until later in the day, we spent some time lazing about in the pool. Not a minute passed that we weren’t touching each other in some way - be it laying back against his chest as he whispered sweetly in my ear while we lounged in the shallows or wrapped in his arms as he held me tightly and spoke in a low voice against my lips between kisses in the deep water. It never felt sexual. We were content just being wrapped up in each other as we bonded through touch and conversation. It made me realize how serious he was in not making our relationship about sex. 

He opened himself up to me in a way I didn’t think anyone ever had, holding nothing back and giving me every part of himself. There was a lightness to him now, like everything that once weighed him down had been discarded and left in the past. It made me hopeful for him, and for us. His smile and happiness were infectious and warm. He was the sun and my light, teaching me how to find my confidence and love myself again. However, in the back of my mind I still had a worry that I was allowing him to affect me too much, too soon. I knew he had the power to break me in a way that Alec couldn’t, but he had given me more than enough reasons to trust that he wouldn’t. 

After spending a good amount of time in the pool, we decided to relax and read on a chaise lounger. Dieter sat down, then allowed me to sit between his thighs and recline against his chest as I read aloud from the pages of Dan Brown’s The Lost Symbol. This eventually shifted into a debate about US government conspiracy theories which had us in fits of giggles as we argued our points for and against each one. We were into a deep conversation about the Roswell crash when my phone rang on the table next to us with an incoming FaceTime call. Dieter reached for it and handed it to me. 

Seeing my sister’s name flash on the screen elicited a sigh from me. “I probably better answer this. She’s been giving me hell because I haven’t called her in a few weeks.” 

Dieter shifted to get up and give me some privacy, but I stopped him, “No. Stay. I might as well tell her what I’ve been up to in my free time…”

He gave me a nervous look as he settled back into the seat. I took a deep breath then hit the ‘answer’ button, careful to keep the camera focused on my face for now as I smiled into it. 

“Lydia, hey…how are you?”

She looked annoyed, “About damn time you answered. Why haven’t you called me?”

I smiled nervously, “Oh you know…I’ve been busy with rehearsals…”

She scoffed, “You’re never this busy with rehearsals…”

I scoffed back, “Well, I typically don’t make it this far into the competition to keep me this busy with rehearsals…” 

She paused for a beat, considering my response. “Fair point. I guess I’ll let it slide…How come you’re not rehearsing now?”

I pushed a stray piece of hair away that was blowing in my face, “Our schedule got moved around a bit. We have an evening rehearsal today.” 

She nodded, “Well…what’s been going on? I haven’t talked to you in weeks. Has Alec been an issue?”

I grimaced and shrugged, “You know…it’s Alec. I’m just avoiding him as much as I can and trying to move on…”

Something in my demeanor must have tipped her off, causing her eyes to narrow slightly. “And how is the moving on going? I feel like you’ve been very…nonchalant about this whole thing…” 

I pursed my lips, “I mean…I was kind of over his shit before the thing with Lana happened. So, it’s like a weight has been lifted, honestly.” 

Her eyes narrowed further, “Where are you right now?” 

I could tell Dieter was holding in laughter, causing me to fight a smile as I replied. “I’m hanging out by the pool at a friend’s house.” 

Dieter was shaking now, burying his face in the back of my hair to muffle his giggles. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip in an attempt to hide my smile as I angled the phone just right to cut him out of frame. 

Lydia’s eyebrow arched. She was not amused with my evasive answers. “How are things going with your dance partner? You’ve hardly said anything about him…”

I couldn’t help smirking at that question, “It’s going good…he’s a good dancer…and we get along.”

Her face told me she was on to my bullshit while her voice feigned ignorance. “Hm, well that’s good. I guess that’s why you have such good chemistry on the dance floor then…” 

I chuckled, “Well, he is an Oscar winning actor. He knows how to play a role well…” 

I could tell Dieter was about to lose what little composure he had over that line. I wasn’t too far behind him. 

Lydia sighed, “Kat…just tell me what the hell is going on. I’m not an idiot…something is up with you. Did something happen with him?”

I scrunched up my nose, “You really wanna know?” 

She sighed, “Kat, seriously?” She paused and rubbed at the crease between her brows as she continued, “So there is something to that TMZ article then? Please tell me he at least fucked some sense into you and made ya realize that Alec was a shitty lay?”

Dieter snorted out a laugh before clapping his hand over his mouth. I grimaced while trying to hold in my own laughter. Lydia’s brows furrowed in confusion. 

I glanced up at Dieter with a questioning look. After getting a nod of approval from him, I stretched my arms out in front of us so that we both fit into the frame. Dieter smiled sheepishly and waved. Lydia gasped out a shocked, “Oh shit!” before accidentally dropping her phone. 

Dieter and I burst into laughter as the blurred images on the screen bounced around before finally focusing back on her shocked face. She sat there staring with her mouth hanging open as she processed what she was seeing. 

Dieter chuckled before finally speaking, “Hi, Lydia! I’m sorry I’ve been keeping your sister from you. I swear it’s not on purpose.” 

Her mouth finally snapped shut, “Wow, OK. So, this is like…happening then?” 

I nodded with a smile, “Yeah, it kind of is…” 

She looked overwhelmed now as she sputtered out, “How?...When?…Does Alec know?…” She paused, then gasped out, “Did you cheat on Alec? Please say yes.” 

Dieter buried his face in my neck as he laughed at her. I shook my head and chuckled, “No. No cheating. It was after I ended things with Alec…in New York. Dieter’s been really supportive with everything and was looking out for me. We had gotten close and…it just sort of…happened.”

I reached up behind me to cup his cheek. He wasted no time lacing his fingers through mine as he turned his head to kiss the palm of my hand and pulled it away to nuzzle his cheek against the side of my head. 

Lydia looked absolutely dumbfounded as she mumbled out, “Holy shit. So, you’re like together, together? This isn’t a fling type thing?” 

I scoffed, “No, you know I’m not into that.”

She laughed, “I KNEW something was going on with him! I could tell from the way you look at him when you’re dancing on the show.”

Dieter and I snickered before I continued, “Well, we’re not going public yet. The producers are trying hard to make this a thing and I refuse to let them. Alec suspects, but I don’t wanna give him any more ammunition to come at us. I just wanna make it through this season with as little drama as possible and be done with it all.” 

She nodded before her expression shifted to one of worry. “So, how has it been going…with you two?” 

The question seemed innocent enough, but her tone told another story. Dieter sighed quietly, then leaned in next to my ear, “I’m gonna go get us something to drink and give you two some time to chat.” 

I felt my stomach drop and hoped that hadn’t upset him as I shifted so that he could get up. He gave me a quick kiss on the top of the head before he disappeared inside. 

My eyes shifted back to the phone, “Did you really have to ask that right now?”

She huffed out a nervous laugh, “What do you mean?”

It was my turn to narrow my eyes, “You know what I mean…you and your disapproving tone.”

She sighed, “It’s not disapproval…it’s concern. You just got out of a very long term engagement with an asshole and immediately got with Dieter Bravo of all people? He has a reputation ya know. I just worry is all.” 

I couldn’t argue with her logic. Those same thoughts had already crossed my mind on more than one occasion.

My brows furrowed, “I completely understand where you’re coming from…I’ve thought about that too. It is fast, but we were building a solid friendship beforehand. It’s not like I just met him last week. And Dieter…he’s not what you would expect…certainly not what I expected. He’s actually very caring and sweet. He’s been working really hard on himself…and he really is a good person. We’ve connected in a way that I’ve never connected with anyone before…”

She puffed air through her cheeks as she rubbed at her temple, “Oh Kat…you’ve got it bad, don’t you?”

I sighed, “Yeah, I think I do…I mean, the man is learning to make Greek food for me…and he’s always worried about how I’m feeling after rehearsals. He makes a point to take care of me…cooking, hot baths, massages…Alec always acted like my body aches were such a damn burden. And Dieter…he’s so open about everything…his past, his feelings. He’s the complete opposite of Alec in every way. How could I not have it bad with that?”

Lydia let out a low whistle, “Damn, sis…he almost sounds too good to be true. What about his reputation though? The whoring around and partying? Doesn’t that worry you?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. It was frustrating, but I understood where she was coming from. 

“He’s been sober for ten months and hasn’t been with anyone else for even longer than that. He’s been taking it seriously…We’ve talked through why he used to do those things and he’s working through it…I-I trust him. He’s not that person any more. He’s already proved that to me in a million different ways.” 

She grimaced slightly, “Are you sure this isn’t another one of your ‘I can fix him’ phases?”

I scoffed, “I should be offended by that…but I kind of deserved it. I-It’s not that. Dieter doesn’t need me to fix him. He was already fixing himself before he met me. He did that part on his own.”

That seemed to alleviate some of her worries, causing her features to relax. “Well, that’s good to hear at least.”

I huffed out a laugh, “Hell, if anything he’s fixing me...”

Lydia snickered, “So he’s good in bed then…” 

I couldn’t help rolling my eyes as I fought a smile, “That’s not what I was referring to, but yes…he is. He’s very attentive, skilled…adventurous…and he knows how to read me. No direction needed. It’s…more than just sex with him too…it’s always very intimate…during and after.”

I paused, briefly laughing to myself as I thought about mine and Dieter’s previous conversation we had in this very spot. “When we got back from New York, he invited me over to stay with him…he didn’t wanna have sex that night. He said he didn’t want it to be all about that with us. We didn’t do it again for like a week. He’s all about exploring all forms of intimacy.” 

Lydia’s eyes nearly bulged out her head with that news. “Fuuuck, ok. He just won me over because that’s a major turn on.”

I laughed, “Right? You understand now? And I haven’t even told you about his cat and plants.”

Lydia looked intrigued, however, Dieter chose that moment to emerge from the house carrying two glasses of lemonade. 

I murmured out a quick “I’ll fill you in on that later,” as I turned to smile up at him. I scooted forward so he could take his seat behind me after he set the glasses on the small table beside us. He wasted no time wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging me tightly against his chest. 

“Alright ladies, what did I miss?” he asked in a playful tone. 

Lydia bit back a laugh, “Kat was just telling me that you’re awesome in the sack.”

I could feel my cheeks flush, “Fucking hell, Lyd. Shut up.” 

Dieter vibrated from laughter behind me, shaking his head as he spoke. “Well, I guess there are worse things she could be saying.” 

We fell into easy conversation after that, somehow dragging Lydia into our prior discussion about conspiracy theories. They were both laughing and already throwing jokes at one another. I could tell she liked him which gave me some comfort. After we hung up, a text message immediately pinged from Lydia.

Lydia: OK. I get it now. Hot. Fucking hilarious. Worships you. I approve. 👏👏👏   

I smiled and showed it to Dieter, who howled with laughter. He was feeling pretty smug, having won the affections of my sister. 

Soon after that, relaxation time was up. We had to get to the studio for a rather exhausting rehearsal. Given that the Paso Doble is a fast paced, Latin style dance, it didn’t take long before we were running on fumes, but the choreography was really beginning to come together by this point in the week. Dieter was having fun with the fact that most of the attention for this dance was on him and allowed him to show a little bit of sass and attitude. He was definitely playing up those attributes, and I was enjoying every second of it. Especially after he declared the room felt like an inferno and peeled his sweaty shirt off over his head.

(Click images to enlarge so you don't miss anything. More after the jump.)

The constant rehearsals were definitely having an effect on his body, toning all the right muscles and slimming him down slightly. He looked amazing and I could tell he was feeling it too. He seemed more confident in himself, which only led to more torture for me. It was obvious he was intentionally flaunting the goods to get me worked up - not that I was complaining. I didn’t mind seeing more skin or watching the muscles in his chest, arms, and back flex as he moved around the dance floor. It was quickly becoming one of my favorite sights. Especially when he added that sexy smirk of his to the mix. 

After rehearsal, Dieter went to pick up takeout for us while I ran home to check on things and resupply on clothes and the essentials before I made my way over to his house. He was just setting Zee’s dinner down on her mat when I walked in. They seemed to be having some sort of standoff over the evening’s meal selection as he placed his hands on his hips and huffed down at her. She sat defiantly staring up at him as her tail flicked back and forth. I rolled my lips together to hold in my laugh as I watched Zee meow loudly, which elicited a heavy sigh from Dieter. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. There’s nothing wrong with it, woman. You don’t have to have freshly cooked protein with every meal.”

She meowed again, then glanced at her plate before shifting her eyes back to his. He rolled his eyes and puffed air out of his cheeks before stalking over to the pantry, then emerged with a pouch of tuna. Clearly losing the battle with his furry little menace. Zee seemed more enthusiastic about her dinner as she watched him spoon a small amount out on top of her food. Finally, a compromise. 

Dieter turned his attention to me with an exasperated look on his face. “I think I have unintentionally created a monster,” he said through a chuckle. 

I walked over toward the island to unpack our dinner as I snickered, “It seems so…but I gotta say, watching you two battle it out has become one of my favorite pastimes. She’s got you wrapped around her little paw.” 

He came to stand behind me, grazing his nose up the side of my neck as he wrapped his arms around me. “What can I say? I live to serve my two ladies. I’m your bitch and I have no shame to say it.” 

I snorted out a laugh as I sank back against him, turning to give him a quick kiss. He pulled away with a smile, “Speaking of…I got you some spanakopita…and after you eat, we’re taking a hot bath. If my body hurts this bad, I know yours has to.” 

I smiled up at him, “Sounds like a plan. I am feeling quite achy this evening.” 

His lips set into a tight line, “I’ll make you some herbal tea. It’ll help. Now…go sit. Get off your feet. I’ll handle all this.” 

The no nonsense look on his face told me there was no arguing. So, I did as he said. He had a plate full of food and a glass of water in front of me within minutes, making sure I was taken care of before he sat down beside me. When we finished, he put everything away while I spent a few minutes cuddling Zee and drinking my fresh cup of herbal tea. He soon disappeared upstairs to run the bath, and I followed several minutes later. 

I found Dieter undressed down to his boxer briefs and leaning over the side of the tub, checking the water temperature and adding some Epsom salt. The sight of him caused my pulse to quicken. When he turned and gave me his sexy little smirk, I thought my heart would explode out of my chest. Without a word, he stood to grab a brush and began to meticulously brush the knots out of my hair caused by today’s rehearsal. Then he twisted it up and secured it with a flat clip. He proceeded to undress me, taking his time to allow his hands and lips to gently explore my body before helping me into the tub. 

Dieter settled in on the opposite end, immediately taking one of my feet into his large hands and began massaging. I relaxed into the water, enjoying the feel of the jets spraying along my body and Dieter’s touch. We sat staring at each other in silence, the air around us electric as we simply existed together. His lips tugged upward as his fingers dipped down to rub at that spot on my foot, causing my thighs to clench. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip as I narrowed my eyes in his direction. 

The smirk was back now, “What’s the matter Kitten? You need something from me?” 

I further relaxed into the water, “I think you’re the one being naughty right now, Bravo.” 

His brows arched, “Let me show you how naughty I can be. Just lay back and relax. Don’t fight the sensations. Imma show you how nerve endings work.”

I did as he asked, trying to loosen up and just feel as our eyes remained locked in an intense stare. His thumbs got to work, gradually increasing pressure in the spots he knew would get me worked up. I could feel the tingle begin in my foot, eventually shooting up directly to my core. My first instinct was to pull away just because it was an odd sensation. It caused his grip to tighten as he tsked at me, “Relax, Kitten. Don’t fight it. Feel it.” 

He continued the same pressure with his thumb, allowing me a moment to become accustomed to the sensation. I was soon panting under his touch, my thighs tensing as my center sought out more friction. It was as if I was suspended right on the edge, close enough to feel something but never completely falling over. His hooded gaze told me that he was enjoying watching me writhe under his touch at the other end of the tub. I lost track of how long that went on. I was damn near in tears when he gave me that mischievous smirk and finally spoke, “Touch yourself for me…” 

My jaw fell slack as one hand moved down to my massage breast and the other to my center. My fingers got to work rubbing at the sensitive and swollen nub, adding to the sensations I was already feeling from where Dieter continued to rub my foot, now adding even more pressure with his thumbs. Within seconds, I fell over the edge. My body tensing and arching out of the water as a loud moan escaped my lips. I saw stars as the blood rushed behind my ears. It was one of the most intense orgasms I had ever had from basic stimulation. Dieter continued rubbing my foot through it, prolonging the sensations until I finally relaxed into the water.  

When my senses finally returned, my eyes fluttered open to find Dieter’s smug smile. He seemed rather proud of himself. I gave him a lazy smile in return, suggestively running my foot down his chest until it disappeared under the water - going lower to brush against his hardness that was hiding under the surface. His eyes narrowed, “Now who's being naughty?”

I gave him an innocent smile, “Oh no…I’m just returning the favor.” 

I sat up, shifting to join him at the other end of the tub. With my breast pressed against him, I leaned in for a slow and sensual kiss. My left arm moved around his neck allowing my fingers to tangle in his hair as my lips trailed down his jaw to first suck on his ear lobe before moving to the sensitive spot behind it. I resituated myself, my left side leaning against him as my right hand traced a path downward. His lips captured mine until my fingers wrapped around the base of his cock and stroked upward. His jaw fell slack, breaking our kiss as his head dropped backward onto the ledge of the tub. With the arm that was wrapped around me, he reached up to gently rub soothing circles at the base of my neck as I continued to pump his length - occasionally swiping my thumb over the head and squeezing just a little tighter.

I took this opportunity to take in his expressions as his breath quickened. His head lolled back and forth as his brows pinched together. His teeth bit into his bottom lip as he turned and whimpered quietly against my shoulder. I leaned down, grazing my nose against his ear, speaking in a silky soft voice.

“You’ve been so good today…taking care of me in every way. I think it’s only fair that I take care of you too. Don’t you?”

He whimpered, his mouth falling open, allowing his hot pants to blow against the curve of my neck as my hand pumped a little faster. My fingers twisted in his hair, pulling it slightly causing his head to fall back away from me so that I could see his face again. His brows pinched together tighter as his arm tensed around me, his fingers now gripping my shoulder firmly. He was panting out soft whimpers with every exhale, eventually turning into a deep groan as I swiped my thumb over the head for the last time - causing him to cum. He trembled under me, eventually going limp against the tub, sucking in deep breaths through his pouty lips as his brows arched. 

A curl fell down over his forehead as his head leaned toward me. He looked relaxed now and completely blissed out as he sat there with his eyes closed. A lazy grin slid across his lips as his dark eyes finally blinked open to meet my gaze. Without warning he pulled me down, causing me to squeal as he crashed his lips against mine. His hands ghosted up and down my back side while we continued to make out like a couple of teenagers, pulling apart only to stare into each other's eyes. 

He reached up to brush a stray hair away from my face as he took me in, “You know…I wouldn’t be upset if every night for the rest of my life ended like this…with us together…you make me happier than I ever thought possible.” 

His words took me off guard, causing a mix of emotions - excitement because it meant he was thinking long term about our future, but also panic. It was another reminder of how hard and how fast I was falling for him because I now realized I wanted that, more than anything. I was also setting myself up to get hurt badly if this went wrong. I was already in so much deeper with him than I ever was with Alec. I need to get over this. Dieter isn’t Alec. He won’t do what Alec did. 

My eyes searched his, I could tell he meant what he was saying. I felt like he wanted to say more but was holding back. I suddenly felt emotional, the only response I could muster was a small smile before pulling him in for a gentle kiss. I turned, settling back against his chest as his hands rubbed my shoulders. 

He kissed the top of my head, seeming to sense my anxiety, then leaned his cheek against it as he spoke, “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that…I wanna take things at a pace you're OK with. I don’t want you to feel rushed. I mean it when I say you’re important to me and…I don’t wanna fuck this up.”

I grabbed his hand and nuzzled it against the side of my face, “Don’t apologize. I want you to be open with me about your feelings. I do appreciate the grace…just be patient with me. I’m there with you, but I’m feeling a lot of things…I’m still working through a lot of things, most of which have nothing to do with you…just know that.” 

He hugged me against him, brushing the hair back off my face as he told me to relax for a little while. We sat in silence for a time, until Zee came strutting into the bathroom meowing because we weren’t in bed yet. We took that as our cue to start our bedtime routine so as not to upset the queen of the Bravo residence. 

Dieter climbed into bed first that night, raising the blanket for me to crawl in beside him. I was suddenly feeling vulnerable as I snuggled in against his chest. He pulled me snugly against himself as I tangled my leg with his. His scent and warmth surrounded me, calming me and bringing me back to my senses. “Dieter?”

He murmured out a sleepy ‘hm?’ against the top of my hair. 

“I wouldn’t mind having this every night, too.”

I felt him smile as he nuzzled his face further into my hair and hugged me just a little tighter. 

Dieter’s POV This week had been such an emotional roller coaster for me already. Kat and I finally caved after a week of no sex, first in the dressing room at the studio, then again after we got back to my place that same evening. It wasn’t just sex though. Like in New York, it was different - intense. She had me feeling things that I had never felt before, causing my emotions to jump all over the place. It felt like it was never enough and too much all at the same time. I wondered if this was what it felt like to make love to someone. I had always heard people say that, but never really understood it. To me, there was only sex or fucking. Those two things didn’t feel like appropriate descriptors for what Kat and I did though. 

There was no question about my feelings for her. I knew I was in love, but did the intensity between us mean she felt the same about me? I couldn’t help hoping that was the case. Why else would it feel like this with her if she wasn’t reciprocating those feelings? It was something I wanted to bring up with her, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to freak her out and ruin what we were building. Deep down I knew she was more fragile than she let on. I knew this thing with Alec had affected her no matter how hard she tried to hide it. I wanted to make sure I gave her all the time she needed to heal. 

The shit storm brewing around us certainly didn’t help any. I knew there would eventually be some repercussions from the Alec confrontation. The rumors had already begun to swirl and TMZ had gotten a whiff of it. They were sniffing around for any details they could get so they could post about it. 

Then that suggestive text message came through when Kat had my phone. I damn near had a panic attack, worried she would think I was talking to other people behind her back. I knew I should have gotten my number changed as soon as all those random messages started to come in after SNL. It would have saved us both some grief. Thankfully, it appeared as if she believed my explanation. At least I hoped she did, because it was the truth. However, I knew it had to be worrisome to her after the whole Alec thing. I felt like a complete asshole over the incident. I never wanted to do anything to make her worry about those sort of things because I would never do that to her. 

I went from that major fuck up right into my therapy session with Dr. Smith where she made me talk about my parents and how that related to my freak out on Alec. It was something that I did need to talk through. I couldn’t put it off forever because it had been bothering me. Dr. Smith helped me realize that the visceral reaction was more about protecting someone I care deeply for than anything - that I’m not that violent person. My biggest fear is that I would turn into my father or that I was already like him in some way. Deep down I knew I wasn’t, but that worry would always be there because I was so affected by it during my early life. 

When I got back home after that session, I went straight to my sanctuary. I needed to get it out of my system in some way, finally settling for music. When I began to play, I didn’t have any intention to go live on Instagram, but I figured why not? That was what Lenny wanted me to do. I ended up finding it to be strangely cathartic, but I was still feeling down when Kat showed up. Given that Dr. Smith had encouraged me to tell Kat about my past, I felt like it was the last step I needed to take to absolve myself of all the things I was feeling. 

I didn’t even know where to start, but Kat knew exactly what I needed - pulling me into that moment of intimacy and just letting me be while I worked through my emotions. I needed all of her and she willingly let me have as much as I could handle. It felt like something shifted between us yet again, but I didn’t know what. All I knew is that I felt closer to her afterward and completely safe to open up to tell her about my past.  

Our relationship really was progressing quicker than I thought it would. After Kat met Cora, she had essentially met all the important people in my circle. She was becoming engrained in every part of my life, and I couldn’t have been happier about it. Cora loved Kat and approved once she got to spend a little time with her. Kat had even told her sister about me, which I felt like was a big fucking deal. She seemed almost proud to show me off to Lydia, not hesitating to let me join their call after she spilled the beans. It all felt very natural, and I honestly couldn’t believe it was happening. This thing between us was obviously turning into something serious. It was scary, but I welcomed it with open arms. I was ready to have someone, to have my own functional family.

After allowing my mind to run a marathon of thoughts as I laid in bed staring at the ceiling, my attention turned to Kat. She was sleeping soundly beside me. I hated to disturb her, but I really needed to take a piss and get breakfast started. Since it was a late rehearsal day, I wanted to take advantage of our free time and surprise her with an authentic Greek meal. 

Kat groaned as I pulled away from her to get up, causing me to huff out a quiet laugh as I ran my fingertips down the side of her cheek. “Sorry to wake you sweetheart, go back to sleep for a bit. I’m gonna go make you some breakfast.”

She hummed out in agreement, snuggling deeper into the blankets as I tucked them around her. Zee stood from her spot at the end of the bed, moving toward Kat’s head. I narrowed my eyes at her, pointing an accusing finger as I whispered out, “You behave. Don’t be an annoying little shit.”

Kat snickered into the pillow as she lifted the blanket, allowing Zee to cuddle in against her before cocooning them both in the duvet. Seeing my two girls snuggled up in my bed together was really doing something to me, causing my heart to flutter in my chest and making me feel happy in a way I never had been. I really couldn’t ask for anything better than that. 

I threw on a pair of gym shorts and grabbed my fluffy green robe, then headed downstairs to start cooking. I had asked Cora to pick up some ingredients for a traditional Greek breakfast that I wanted to try my hand at making. It seemed simple enough, so I figured I couldn’t fuck it up too badly. 

I got to work, chopping the tomatoes and onions before letting them sauté in a pan - eventually adding lightly beaten eggs and several spices before topping with crumbled feta. I followed that up with fried pork, then made a small batch of what equated to Greek French toast. Kat came shuffling in just as I added the finishing touches of honey and cinnamon to the fried bread. I could hear her sniffing the air as she came up behind me to wrap her arms around my waist. 

“This smells amazing. What did you make?”

After setting the container of cinnamon down, I turned to face her with a smirk, wrapping my arms around her and hugging her against me as I went over the morning menu. 

“Well, we have some fried pork…and forgive me if I butcher the names…but I also made some fetoydia and strapatsada.” 

Her eyes lit up, “No you didn’t?!?!”

I chuckled, “I did. I also had Cora get you some fancy imported Greek coffee and mountain tea too. I’m curious to try those. Which would you like with your breakfast?”

Her mouth hung open for a beat, clearly surprised by my efforts. “I can’t believe you did that for me…I don’t even know what to say.” 

I shrugged, “It’s not a big deal. You know I love to try new things…and you’ve given me a reason to. Now, coffee or tea?”

She sighed in contentment, “Coffee, please.”

I gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before pulling away to get it started, “Coming right up! Food’s done, so dig in.”

She had a ghost of a smile on her lips as she made her plate which had me feeling all warm and fuzzy.  I would never tire of spoiling her every chance I got. 

Kat seemed to enjoy the meal, moaning in appreciation with every bite. She and I ate way too much to the point we both felt miserable after. Thankfully we had several hours before we had to be in the dance studio, so we could relax and be a little lazy for a while. We spent some time snuggled on the couch - her tucked into my side as Zee stretched out in the crevice between Kat and the back of the sofa. Kat watched as I aimlessly scrolled through the threads of one of my online plant groups, taking the time to respond to questions and complain to her about how so many people gave terrible advice. 

I chuckled as I explained to Kat how I was the dickhead that always incited arguments about plant care and then won them and how I had amassed quite the little following that always directly asked me for advice. I often wondered what they would do if they knew who they were actually talking to. 

After several minutes, Kat piped up to ask, “What do they mean when they say SuccDee? Is that a dirty plant joke? I don’t understand the context.” 

My body shook with laughter as I tried to hold it in. I finally got it together enough to answer her. “My username is ‘Succulent_Daddy_Dee’. They have taken to calling me ‘SuccDee’ for short.”

I could see the moment of realization on her face as her eyes widened. Then she burst into laughter as she buried her face in my chest. She had tears in her eyes as she asked, “And I’m sure you did nothing to encourage that. You’re so bad…” 

I snorted out laughter, “Hey, I wasn’t the one to come up with it. However, I will admit I did nothing to discourage it. Honestly, I spent a good five minutes laughing the first time someone said it. It just stuck and it’s kind of fucking perfect.”

She wiped her eyes, “I’m not sure which version of that name is more entertaining. The multiple meanings of the word succulent take it to a whole other level.” 

I feigned innocence, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. A succulent is a type of plant. I am the father to many succulent plants. Get your mind outta the gutter.”

She broke into another fit of giggles, “You’re so full of shit.” 

I snickered, “Yeah, guilty…but hey, at least I keep it entertaining.”

With the arm she had thrown across my torso, she gave me a little squeeze. “That you do. I can’t complain.”

I continued to scroll, pausing on a post that caught my attention and reading it out loud to Kat.

Here’s a little fun fact for all of my plant enthusiasts. Plants can talk! They emit ultrasonic vibrations of 20–100 kHz. To make this more interesting, cats can hear up to 64 kHz and dogs up to 45 kHz. Does this mean my pets can hear the plants?

I looked down at her, “Fuuck, am I unknowingly driving Zee insane with all my plants? It must be super loud in here to her...”

This fact was sort of blowing my mind as I peeked over at Zee, the mention of her name rousing her from a deep sleep. “Damn Zee, I wish you could talk. I wanna know what they say…Maybe I should talk to them more?”

My attention diverted back to Kat, finding her smiling up at me. “Well, now I know why she sometimes randomly stares at them in that freaky way she does. I wonder if there’s a way we can hear them? Imma have to research this…” 

Kat’s smile widened, and to Zee’s dismay, she shifted so that she could raise up to kiss me and mumble, “You’re so fucking adorable” against my lips. My thoughts for the talking plants were soon forgotten as I discarded my iPad on the floor next to the couch and proceeded to have a heated make out session with my lady. 

We were interrupted minutes later by her phone ringing on the table next to us. Kat seemed intent on ignoring it, continuing to kiss down my jaw and neck as I turned to grab her cell with a chuckle. 

“It’s Marc. You need to take it?”

Her head popped up with a perplexed look on her face, “Yeah…maybe. He rarely calls me.” 

She answered, going through the usual small talk and pleasantries before going quiet to listen to what I assumed was his reason for calling. Her brows pinched together slightly before she gave me a puzzled smile. 

“Marc wants to know if we’re available for dinner with him, his wife, and Stefanie and her partner on Sunday?”

I was surprised by the request, but they had seemed to be more friendly toward us since the Alec incident. I figured it might do us some good to be sociable, so I shrugged. “Why not? Could be fun.”

Kat gave me a brilliant smile before telling Marc we would be there, then listened for a bit longer before asking, “Bring our guitars?”

Her eyes shifted to mine nervously. I reached up to run my fingers through her hair, causing her to relax into my touch. “Yeah…I’ll tell him to. Yep, see you then.” 

After she hung up, her eyes met mine, “It seems they wanna have a jam session after dinner. They all play apparently…”

She didn’t seem excited about that idea. “We don’t have to stay for that if you don’t want to.” 

Her nose scrunched up as she asked, “How do you feel about doing that?”

I shrugged, “I mean, it could be fun. I haven’t done anything like that in forever…but if you don’t want to…” 

Kat sighed, “No…you know what? I’m gonna do it. I need to play again. It’ll be good for me. Besides, you’ll be there with me, so I’ll be fine.” 

Her words caused a warmth to spread through me. I loved that she felt that way, that I could ease her anxieties. She was putting so much trust in me, more than anyone ever had. If only she understood how much that meant. I knew it couldn’t be easy after what she had gone through, which made it mean so much more. I gave her a soft smile before pulling her in for a tender kiss. 

Zee chose that moment to paw a glass that was still about one fourth of the way full of water off the coffee table, which broke our spell and the glass. 

“Zee, what the fuck?” I huffed out in frustration while Kat snorted out a laugh beside me. Zee gave me a defiant look as her tail whipped back and forth. I sighed as we moved to get up. Kat grabbed Zee to keep her safe while I moved to clean up the mess. Zee now seemed happy as a clam as she purred and snuggled against Kat. 

I gave Zee the side eye as I swept up the mess, “There are other less destructive ways to get our attention, young lady. That was not cool.” 

Zee seemed like she could care less as Kat scratched behind her ears and snickered at her complete disregard for my scolding. Once I got everything cleaned up, I decided to do some much needed plant care as Kat gave Zee the attention she was demanding. Zee’s need for affection didn’t last long. Once she had her fill, she simply jumped from Kats arms and made her way over to the top of her cat tree to groom herself. Kat scoffed at her dismissal as she stood, coming to stand next to me as I dusted, pruned, and misted leaves. Her arms snaked around my waist as she rested her chin on my shoulder and watched me work in silence for a few minutes. I could feel her lips brush against my skin as she asked, “Can you teach me how to do this?” 

I don’t know why, but her request had my heart racing. It made me feel giddy that she wanted to learn about my hobby. I glanced down at her with a smirk, “You mean you don’t already do this for your plants?” 

She snorted, “My plants are lucky to get water. They come to my house to survive, not live.” 

I shook my head and scoffed out a laugh, “That’s just depressing. Don’t tell me that. Imma have to start checking in on them.” 

She smiled against my neck, “I would be ok with that.” 

I pulled her around to stand in front of me, now leaning over her shoulder with my arms around her. My hands shifted through the leaves of the plant I was currently working on as I explained when to prune and the process for dusting and misting. She was full of questions as she took over to do it herself. I hugged her backside against me as I supervised, placing the occasional gentle kiss against her jaw and the curve of her neck. Once she got the hang of it, we both worked through all the plants in the room as we chatted and got to know each other better. I honestly couldn’t think of a better way to spend my free time, and I found it to be a wonderful and relaxing way to bond with her. 

Before we knew it, it was time for us to head off to rehearsal for the rest of the day. It was another grueling day in the dance studio and also filming day. After seven weeks of this, I could tell it was slowly wearing me down. This dance in particular was taking a lot out of me with it being very high energy. After six hours of it, my tank was running empty and I was beginning to make ridiculous mistakes with my footwork and frame. Kat seemed to be struggling as well. We were both slowing down and couldn’t seem to keep up with the music. At least it made for some interesting footage for the show. We eventually sat on the floor and settled for talking through some parts of it, deciding what still needed to be tweaked or changed and coming up with a game plan for the next two days. That part would probably be less exciting to watch, but we sort of didn’t care.

Once our studio time was up, we headed home. After a quick dinner, we showered together - too tired to do anything aside from getting clean. It wasn’t long before we crashed, falling asleep almost as soon as our heads hit the pillow. When I awoke the next morning to find Zee snuggled up next to me, I couldn’t recall having felt her get in the bed. Neither did Kat. We had obviously been out of it. 

We spent our Saturday morning outdoors with the intent to take it easy until our evening rehearsal time. We started with painting some planter pots on the back patio. I had somehow managed to con Kat into the activity over breakfast. She grumbled at first, citing her lack of artistic capabilities, but that grumbling soon abated when I sat down behind her. I made sure to pull her back to my front as snugly as possible before putting my arms around her waist and using my hands to guide hers, showing her different techniques for painting flowers and trees onto the plain terracotta. After she got the hang of it, I took advantage of my position to lavish her exposed neck with attention from my mouth. 

Once I had her properly worked up, I scooted away with a smirk so that I could paint my own pot. She scoffed, calling me a “fucking tease” as I shot a wink in her direction. My smugness soon faded when she began removing layers of clothing to reveal a lavender bikini that looked absolutely amazing against her golden skin. She was the smug one now as she pretended not to notice my eyes on her. 

I huffed out a laugh as I pulled my t-shirt off over my head, “Fine. Two can play that game, honey.”

She scrunched up her nose in annoyance, then flicked a paintbrush in my direction - causing speckles of paint to splatter all over my face and chest. It only escalated from there. Before it was over with, we were rolling around on top of the drop cloth covered in paint, laughing like a couple of idiots in between making out with each other. 

Once we realized our skin was beginning to stick together from the drying paint, we finally got up and made use of the outdoor shower stall to rinse each other off. Afterward, I jumped into the pool while she sat on the side with her legs swishing in the water, laughing at my antics and taking pictures of me with my phone. 

I eventually swam up to her, wrapping my arms around her legs and resting my head on her lap as she scratched at my dripping scalp. We sat like that for a time in silence, enjoying the sun and just being together. I could get used to this. It was almost addicting having her here by my side in this way, but it was also calming the storm that always swirled in my mind. The self-depreciating and negative thoughts were so far removed from my focus that I felt what I could only describe as normal? Unburdened? Content? I couldn’t really find a word to describe it. I was definitely happy, but there was something more with it. I knew it was because of her, keeping my demons locked away in the shadows where they belonged. 

I raised my head, squinting from the sun as I looked up at her with a smile. “Let's go out to the beach. I haven’t gotten to properly take advantage of it yet.” 

Her brows furrowed, “Is that a good idea?” 

I shrugged, “It’s a private beach…”

She scrunched up her face, “I don’t like getting in the ocean though…I’m not confident in my swimming capabilities.” 

I pouted, “You don’t have to go in very far. Besides, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. How about I just don’t let go of you?” 

She sighed, tilting her head to the side as she slowly gave in to the idea. I gave her a cheesy smile, “I’ll even let you bury me in the sand. You can give me a mermaid tail and boobs.”

She snorted out a laugh, “Fine…fine. I will not be cleaning the sand out of your ass though. That’s on you.” 

I backed away from her with a laugh and pulled myself up on the edge of the pool to get out, “Deal…Just remember you didn’t say anything about cleaning under my balls though.” 

She cackled as I held out my hands to pull her up from the ground, “Come on, let’s go pack a bag with the essentials. I may even have a tiny shovel and a bucket you can use.” 

That pulled another tinkling laugh out of her as she stood. 

I was true to my word, letting Kat bury me to do all manner of ridiculous things - including the mermaid tail and boobs. I helped with the boobs, shaping and cupping them to make sure they were the perfect roundness and size, which had us both in a fit of giggles. 

Afterwards, Kat stretched out on a towel under the oversized beach umbrella to read while I went for a dip in the ocean to try and wash the sand out of all the places it shouldn’t be. She laid on her stomach for a time, which had her voluptuous ass on display. I couldn’t help staring at it in those little bikini bottoms she had on. It was definitely begging to be spanked. After several minutes, she flipped over onto her back, propping herself up on her elbows as she not so subtly adjusted her top. She gave me a smirk and a wink while her boobs bounced around from where she tugged at the scraps of fabric. She knew exactly what she was doing, and it was working. I was already half hard from the visual. The dirty thoughts that followed finished the job and got me the rest of the way there. 

I ambled to the shore, noticing Kat’s gaze on me as I made my way toward her. She tucked her bottom lip between her teeth as she watched me hungrily. My eyes surveyed the area, not seeing anyone near us and realizing the umbrella blocked the view from nearby houses. I intended to take full advantage of that as I sank to my knees at her feet. I crawled up her body, dripping water and peppering kisses along her heated skin as I went. I paused half way and shook my head like a dog, which elicited a loud squeal from her and laughter from the both of us before I captured her lips with mine. Her hips bucked against my raging hardon, causing me to groan into her mouth.

She hummed against my lips, “Feels like somebody enjoyed the view.”

I smiled, dropping my right hand down between her thighs, slipping a finger underneath the fabric of her bikini bottoms to find her soaking wet for me. “I think somebody else did too.”

She sighed softly as I began to rub between her slick folds, “Not gonna lie…you looked pretty fucking hot coming outta the water like that…better than any porno I’ve ever seen.”

I chuckled, leaning down to kiss along her neck as my fingers worked her over. “Sounds like my Kitten needs a little attention. Are you aching for me, honey?”

Her hands tangled in my hair as she nodded and let out a breathy, “Always.”

She began to grind against my hand as my fingers curled inside of her and my thumb made leisurely swirls around her sensitive bud. My lips found her ear as I spoke in a hushed voice, “Always so ready for me…such a needy girl. I want you to come for me, right here…where anyone could see.”

Her thighs began to tense around my hand as her body arched upward against me. I knew she was close. “You’re being such a dirty girl right now, you know that? Letting me play with you out in the open like this…and I think you kinda like it. You like being my dirty girl?”

I pulled back slightly to look at her even though she had a death grip on my hair. She nodded in response to my question, her brows pinching together and mouth falling open as my thumb increased pressure and speed. She was trembling now, so close.

I kissed along her jaw again, mumbling as I worked my way down the curve of her neck, “I’m gonna bend you over the kitchen counter and fuck you senseless as soon as we walk through the door.”

That sent her over the edge, causing her to bury her face against my shoulder to muffle the moans she was trying and failing to hold in. She collapsed against the towel, panting as a lazy smile spread across her face. Her hand slid down from my hair, cupping my cheek as she peered up at me, “The things you do to me…”

I chuckled, “Don’t worry, I’m not done yet…”

She narrowed her eyes at me as I stood and pulled her up from the ground with a smirk. Once she was standing, I didn’t hesitate to lean forward and throw her over my shoulder, giving her ass a good smack before I turned to walk back toward the ocean. She squealed and squirmed, but it didn’t do any good. I had a firm grip as I walked into the water up to my waist before dropping her in. She stood, cursing me as she sputtered out water and wiped at her face. I reached toward her with a smile, snaking my hand around her waist and pulling her into my embrace. She welcomed it, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me gently. 

I pulled her out a little further into the water, so that we could bob with the waves. I felt her grip tighten slightly, but she didn’t stop me. She was trusting that I wouldn’t let her go. She gave me a mischievous smile as she wrapped her legs around me, now rubbing her center against my dick and further stoking the flame that was burning inside of me.

I groaned, “Now who’s being a fucking tease?” 

Her lips moved along my neck, “Want me to take care of that little problem for you?” 

I huffed out a laugh, “No. I actually meant what I said earlier…I’m bending you over the counter and fucking you when we get back to the house.” 

She raised her head to look at me, her lips fighting a smile. I leaned in, brushing my nose against hers as I reached down to grab the globes of her ass, pulling her center tighter against me, “I’m also gonna spank you and make you come again. Maybe twice if you’re good for me.” 

I could feel her thighs clenching against me as her mouth clashed against mine. Our hands explored each other as the kiss deepened, her right one making its way down between us to rub at the bulge in my shorts. 

“Can we go back to the house now? Please? I need you…” she begged. 

My forehead pressed against hers as I whined, “As if I could deny you anything…”

My hand moved to cup her cheek as I leaned back to take her in. She was so fucking beautiful. The sun was glistening off her tanned skin and emphasizing the gold flecks in her amber eyes in a way I had never seen. I felt dumbstruck by it as my heart began to flutter in my chest. She was literally taking my breath away. 

One side of her lips twitched upward, “You OK?” 

I nodded as my thumb stroked her face, “Yeah…I’m just…I wanna remember everything about this moment. I umm…” I love you. 

I was so fucking close to saying it as she smiled up at me, but I was too afraid it would scare her away. It had only been two weeks. It was too soon. 

“I’ve just never umm…” 

My words trailed off as I shook my head to clear it. I didn’t know how to express what I was feeling but I needed to say something. 

“I’ve never experienced something like this with anyone before…felt how I feel in this moment. I can’t exactly put it into words…” 

Her hand dropped to my chest, no doubt feeling my heart pounding against it as her face softened. She leaned in to kiss me sweetly. The moment was ruined a few seconds later by a large wave that nearly knocked us over. She was back to sputtering out water and laughing as I pulled her toward the shore. 

We wasted no time packing up and heading toward the house. I pulled her into the outdoor shower stall, our hands and mouths now exploring each other as we washed away the sand and salt and peeled our suits off. Once we were sufficiently clean, I wrapped her in a towel which she secured around her torso as I grabbed one to put around my waist. 

She was barely through the sliding doors of the house before she dropped the towel and placed her palms on the island, arching her back toward me as she smiled seductively over her shoulder. I moved to stand behind her, gently running my fingertips up the center of her spine as her head dipped forward between her shoulders from the sensation. I felt her shiver as I made several passes up and down. On the last one, my fingertips continued upward, grazing the back of her neck before sinking my fingers into her hair, grabbing hold at the roots before tugging gently. She stood up straighter, melting into me as my left hand ran down the side of her body. I tugged her hair a little harder, angling her head to the side so I could access her neck to place gentle kisses along the length of it. Then, without warning, I smacked her ass. She moaned quietly. Another smack gave me the same result. Her breaths were coming faster now as the anticipation got to her.

My lips moved against her ear, “Tell me what you want, Kitten.” 

Her eyes slid shut as she exhaled, “I want you to have your way with me…any way you want.” 

I groaned against the side of her neck, “You’re gonna make me come saying shit like that.” 

She chuckled, pressing her ass against me just a little more, which resulted in another smack. She smiled this time. 

I tutted at her, “I think you like that…lean forward.” 

She did so as I dropped down to my knees, giving the other cheek a couple of smacks for good measure before landing one right to her center, causing her to flutter around nothing. My hands found her thighs, massaging deeply as they moved upward to her hips. She was dripping wet and practically begging for more when I leaned forward and licked up her folds, causing her to cry out as she gripped the edge of the island until her knuckles turned white. 

I dove into her cunt like a man starved, absolutely devouring her as my hands gripped her hips tightly to keep her from squirming. I had her falling apart within minutes as I sucked and licked at her bundle of nerves, giving the occasional slap to her ass as I worked. When she finally came, I didn’t stop or slow the pace, causing her to come for a second time in quick succession. 

Her legs nearly gave out on the second one. So, I held her around the middle with one arm as I stood. After dropping the towel from my waist, I used my free hand to drag myself through her slick. She moaned quietly each time the head nudged against her over sensitive clit. After notching at her entrance, I sank in slowly. Taking my time so she could feel every inch slide in and out at the perfect angle. 

I pulled her against my chest, one hand sliding around to grip under her chin, angling her face toward mine so I could see her. Her face was sweaty, flushed, and completely blissed out when she met my gaze. It had me feeling the same way I had when we were in the ocean. It felt like home. It felt like peace. I felt complete. 

My forehead fell against hers, “You’re so fucking beautiful…perfect for me…never letting you go.”

I was babbling like a fool and completely losing myself as my other arm held her around the waist. She laced her fingers through mine, gripping my hand tightly as I clung to her. I know I said I would fuck her, but this was so much more than that. I kept the pace slow and languid, our breathing completely synced as we drowned in each other’s gaze. 

I could feel Kat’s abdomen tighten as she quickly came again out of nowhere, squeezing me to the point that I could hardly move. Her jaw went slack, one of her hands flying up to twist into my hair as she let out a loud cry. I was seconds behind her, the feeling and intensity of her orgasm pulling me over the edge with her. My hand released her chin to reach for the counter as I attempted to steady myself, but it was no use.

My legs gave out, causing me to sink down to my knees - pulling Kat with me. I was somehow still pulsing and leaking inside of her as she melted against me.

I panted out a breathy, “Fuck…sorry. I-I…couldn’t stand…anymore. That was…intense.”

She sat on my thighs, both of us slumped against the side of the island as we tried to catch our breath. My arm around her tightened as I leaned in to kiss the side of her cheek. She turned, her lips seeking mine for a heated kiss that had me seeing stars.

When she finally pulled away, my attention was drawn to movement at my left. Kat’s eyes followed my line of sight and found Zee, who was sitting on the floor with her head tilted, her tail twitching from side to side as she looked up at us with concern? Confusion? Curiosity? I wasn’t really sure. Kat and I both burst into laughter, her leaning back into my chest as I hugged her snugly and laughed into her shoulder.

“Is this what it feels like when moms and dads get caught doing the dirty by the kids? Because I feel like that’s what just happened,” I said between chuckles.

Kat snorted out another laugh, “I dunno, but I think she’s kind of into it. She was totally watching.”

I gasped for air, “If that’s the case, she gets that shit from you. You’re the one who likes to watch.”

Kat leaned her head back against me, still laughing as I reached for a towel. I motioned for her to open her legs a bit to put it in place before I pulled out of her with a groan. Between the two of us, we had made an absolute mess of each other. We both shifted, stretching out on the tile because our legs still felt weak. 

I sighed, glancing at the clock on the microwave, “I think we’re gonna be late for rehearsal.” 

She waved a dismissive hand, “I don’t care…whatever that was…was totally worth it.”

We were late for rehearsal. Forty-five minutes late to be specific, but I really didn’t mind. There was more between us after that, somehow feeling more connected than we already were. Maybe it was just because of the intensity of everything. I couldn’t be sure. Whatever it was definitely carried over to our dancing. We were so on top of it, barely making the tiniest of mistakes. I felt newly energized and ready to win that fucking Mirrorball trophy as we went through the routine one last time. 

Since we had a long day planned for Sunday and felt pretty on top of the choreography, we headed home early. There was no way to improve perfection after all. 

Kat and I had just gotten home, and I was making some quick sandwiches for dinner when my cell rang. Lenny’s name flashed on the screen. I looked at the time, it was near 9:30 PM, which was sort of late for him. He tended to go to bed early since he got up before the sun rose most days. Worried something was up, I sucked some mayo off my fingers as I hurried to answer it. 

“Hey Len…”

“What the hell have you been doing?” he barked out before I could even finish my greeting. 

I winced, “What do you mean? I haven’t been doing anything.”

Kat’s wide eyes met mine in concern. I shrugged. 

He sighed, “Who were you with today?”

I was so fucking confused, “I was at dance rehearsal with Kat. That’s the only place I’ve gone. Why?”

I could hear him shuffling papers around on his end of the line, “TMZ just called. They have pictures of you at the beach kissing a woman.”

I grimaced as my eyes shifted back to Kat. Fuck. 

“How the hell did they get those? I was literally in my backyard on a private beach. There was no one else out there today.” 

Lenny huffed, “Then you obviously have an asshole neighbor who wanted a quick buck.”

I sighed, “Fuck.” I switched the phone to speaker so Kat could hear, then I asked “Can you tell who it is in the pictures?”

“They’re asking if it’s Kat. Is it?” 

Kat shrugged, waving her hand to go ahead and tell him the truth. “Can you tell who’s in the pictures?” I asked again. 

He was quiet for a minute, obviously looking at them, “I mean…I can’t. Most of them are blurry. It’s pretty far away. I can definitely tell it’s you, but most of the pictures of the woman are from the back...Is it her?”

I scrunched my eyes shut as I rubbed at the bridge of my nose, “Tell them it’s not her…but yes, it’s her.”

He scoffed, “Fucking hell, Dieter. I thought we were done with this shit? What do you think you’re doing? Are you using again?” 

My fists clenched together. I took a deep breath to calm myself as Kat came to stand next to me, placing a comforting hand on top of mine. 

“No…I’m not fucking using again. It’s not like that Lenny, OK? This is different. We’re like…together. It’s not…not a fuck buddy situation or anything. I care about her.” I puffed air out of my cheeks in frustration, now pacing around the kitchen nervously as Kat watched me in silence. 

“Look, we don’t want anyone to know yet. The producers can’t find out and the less that’s confirmed for Alec, the better. I need you and the team to keep this under wraps.” 

Lenny was unusually quiet now. I didn’t know how to take that. “Len, you still with me?” 

He cleared his throat, “Yeah, I’m just…processing. Does your therapist know about this? Is it really a good idea? I thought you weren’t getting involved with your co-stars anymore?” 

I rolled my eyes, “Look, I’m tryin’ not to be pissed about this because I know where you’re coming from. It’s my fault, I earned that…but trust me when I say this is different. And yes, my therapist knows. She’s been supportive of it. She likes Kat.” 

He sighed, “Ok, so how the hell are we supposed to handle this?”

I was still pacing as I talked through it, “Well…nothing we can do about the pictures. Maybe…”

I paused to think through my words before I continued, giving Kat a wide-eyed look as the idea sparked. “Maybe we take advantage of this. We say it’s not Kat…lie…say I’m seeing someone else but wish to protect her privacy. Use it as a misdirection…It might help settle the rumors about us and get the producers, Alec, and the paparazzi off her back some.” 

Lenny chuckled, “You really think your publicist is gonna go for that?” 

I shrugged even though he couldn’t see me, “I kind of don’t care. I’m going with it. I’ll head it off and do a cryptic Instagram post. Besides, it might be fun to fuck with Stacia and Joe some. I wanna see their heads explode when they realize their fairytale showmance isn’t happening after all.”

Kat snorted out a laugh over that one. She obviously thought it was funny, but I did want her input before I did anything. 

“Kat, are you good with that? I don’t wanna do anything without your consent.”

She nodded, “It is a funny thought to be honest. I’m cool with it. They’ve been fucking with us this whole time. It’s time to beat them at their own game.” 

I turned back to my phone, “You hear that, Len? This is probably gonna cause a little mayhem, but we’re here for it.” 

He grumbled, “Your publicist is gonna murder both of us.”

I chuckled, “Not my problem…better start making some calls because I’m posting something as soon as we hang up.” 

“Ugh, fine. Ok. This is all on you though.” 

I smiled, “Thanks Len, you’re the best. We’ll talk soon.” 

He grumbled some more then hung up without even saying goodbye. 

I turned to Kat and smiled nervously, “Well, looks like we have a project to do tonight. We need to look through my camera roll…just…don’t judge me for what you find.” 

Her brows furrowed, “Do I even wanna know what that means?”

I shrugged, “I mean…it’s just full of pictures of Zee and plants…and you.” 

Her brows arched, “Oh, really?”

I grimaced as my face heated, “Yeah, I may have saved a few I found online…and I sneak pictures of you frequently.”

She shook her head and laughed, “I can’t wait to see this…”  

As we sat eating our sandwiches, I handed my phone over. Kat scrolled in silence, an occasional smirk on her face before glancing up at me and shaking her head. After several minutes, her phone pinged a few times before she finally slid mine back over to me with a smile. 

“What did you just do?” I asked. 

Her smile widened, “I sent myself some pictures of you and Zee.” 

I leaned toward her, narrowing my eyes slightly. “Maybe I need to check your camera roll…” 

Her eyes widened, “Umm…mine is far more scandalous. I’ve saved some pictures of my own. You’ve done a lot of salacious photoshoots, you know that?” 

I chuckled, “Ahh, filling up the spank bank then. I’m flattered.” I gave her a cocky grin and waggled my eyebrows, “If you want some nudes all you have to do is ask. I might even let you take them yourself.” 

She shot a mischievous look over her glass as she took a sip, “Don’t give me any ideas…” 

I grabbed my phone, snickering as I unlocked it. “So, I think the backlit picture of you and Zee, you painting, lying in bed from behind, and then the one you took of me in the pool kissing your leg will do. I don’t feel like it's obvious that’s you in those pictures. I’ll just do a whole photo dump and keep it vague. Let them speculate away.”

She huffed out a laugh, “You’re about to cause all kinds of chaos with this.” 

I nodded, “Probably. I’ve never posted cutesy pictures of a woman before. It’s definitely making a statement…” 

(More after the graphic.)

The post did indeed cause chaos. Likes and comments began to flood in - most of them asking if it was Kat in the pictures. I responded to exactly one person with, “Did I tag Kat? No.” 

That set off a whole new onslaught of chatter and speculation. Kat egged it on by liking the original post and my comment. I could only imagine how my publicist was handling this. I was sure her head was probably about to explode. 

When I woke up on Sunday morning, Kat was lying against my chest with her leg thrown across mine. She was still asleep, so I reached over to the nightstand to grab my phone without waking her. I was almost afraid to see what awaited me when I opened Instagram. I found more of the same stuff from the previous night. It was officially my most liked and most commented post ever. 

I took a moment, taking in the sight before me. Ehh, we can do better than that. 

As if I wasn’t already causing enough trouble, I took a short video clip of my hand rubbing along Kat’s bare leg. It was obvious we were tangled up in bed, wrapped in nothing but sheets with a nice view of the ocean outside the French doors. I posted it. There was no caption, only emojis, “👉👌🤯🤯🤯😏” 

I threw in a few hashtags too, #PerfectMorning #MindBlown #WouldntChangeAThing

(More after the graphic.)

I was patiently awaiting a call from my publicist after that. She really might murder me over this one. 

I sat with a smug smile as I watched the comments roll in. One in particular caught my attention.

Beasty45: I really hope you’re not screwing Kat over too. She deserves better.

I had to appreciate the sentiment behind it and really hated people thinking that way. So, I hit reply.

BangingBravo1: Wow. Never. She’s my bestie. All is well. 👍👍

It wasn’t a lie. She was my best friend as far as I was concerned. 

I felt Kat stir against me. She groaned, hiding her face against my chest, “What time is it?”

I looked at the time, “You’ve got ten minutes before the alarm goes off.” 

She let out another groan as her eyes blinked open, “What are you doing?”

I snickered and handed her my phone, “Causing more chaos.” 

She squinted at the screen, then rolled her eyes as she handed it back to me with a laugh. “Now everyone knows you had a night of mind-blowing sex. Wonderful.”

“I know. I’m in trouble.” 

As if on cue, a text message popped up from my publicist.

Janine: What the fuck are you doing?!?! Stop it. Now.

I cackled, tilting the phone toward Kat so she could see it, “That’s tame for her. I usually get a call with lots of yelling. Trust me. She’s dealt with worse.”

Kat shook her head, sighing heavily, “Today is gonna be interesting…”

We crawled out of bed soon after that to get ready for the day. We had a morning rehearsal slot, so that was first on our agenda. We had the routine down by this point, so we just focused on cleaning things up and tried not to wear ourselves out too much.

After rehearsal, we had our weekly spray tan. As we were walking into Television City Studios, I realized that I had a missed text from Janine from earlier in the day saying that TMZ had posted the article and pictures, so that was now out there for the world to see.  They had to add an addendum once they realized I had made the social media posts, completely spoiling their 'breaking story'.

(More after the graphic.)

Kat and I were thankful the staff got us in and out quickly for the spray tan because we were definitely getting some looks and whispers. I imagine the confusion was spreading because we were fairly certain the majority of the cast thought we were together. We couldn’t help laughing about it as we left, wondering if Joe and Stacia had heard the news yet. 

Kat ran to her house to check on things and pick up her guitar while I went home to feed Zee her dinner. Zee was in full menace mode as she tried to smack things off the counter while I prepared her food. It seemed to be her new favorite pastime, apparently enjoying getting me in a tizzy. She knew what she was doing, freezing mid shove when I would lock eyes with her. I concluded that she must think it’s some sort of game. A game that was fun for her and a nightmare for me. I ended up shooing her out of the kitchen so I could work in peace.

As I was finishing up with Zee’s gourmet meal, Kat came into the kitchen. Her brows furrowed as she pointed her finger to something behind me and busted out her best mom voice, “Zee, don’t you dare.” 

I turned to see what the hell she was up to now, my eyes landing on her as she shoved a small potted succulent off the window sill. Luckily the pot did not break, but dirt spilled everywhere. 

I sighed, “Why is this a thing all of a sudden?” 

Zee meowed as she jumped down to rub against Kat’s legs and shot me some nasty side eye. Kat snickered as she shooed Zee away so she could clean up the mess. 

“Maybe you’re not preparing her food fast enough. Best get to it, cat daddy.” 

I huffed, “She messes with me, and I’ll go get some of that cheap nasty pellet garbage and she can have that. Little punk…”

Kat laughed at me as I continued to grumble about Zee’s impatience while Zee rubbed up against my legs and yelled at me until I finally set her plate down on the food mat. Zee rushed to her plate and ate with enthusiasm. I rolled my eyes at her as I turned to Kat, “All right, now that the diva is taken care of…you ready to go?” 

Kat nodded, “Yep. Let’s get this sideshow on the road.” 

My hand found its way to her hip and squeezed gently as I leaned in to give her a quick peck on the lips, “I should probably be offended by that, but it might actually be an accurate description…of me anyway.” 

She playfully pushed my shoulder and laughed, “At least you’re aware. Let’s go.” 

On the drive to Marc’s house, I could feel a twinge of anxiety forming in the pit of my stomach since I didn’t really know what to expect. From what I knew about Marc, he was a family man and seemed pretty drama free as far as his public persona was concerned. That helped some, but that didn’t mean there wouldn’t be alcohol or other things floating around. I knew it was something I would have to face eventually, but I wasn’t sure how ready for it I actually was. However, one glance in Kat’s direction suppressed those feelings. I knew she had my back, and I knew I would never do anything to let her down. 

A short time later we pulled into Marc’s driveway and made our way to the front door. He greeted us, making small talk as he led us out to the back patio where he introduced us to his wife Valarie, and Stefanie’s partner, Kira. He was cooking hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill while everyone else sat around and chatted. So, as these things go, I joined him at the grill while Kat joined the ladies. We went into more small talk about the show, rehearsals, how I was feeling about ballroom dancing in general. It was all pretty surface level. Then, he asked me if I wanted a drink as he moved toward a cooler. I was taken off guard and sort of froze up.  

He seemed to sense my hesitation as he opened the lid, giving me a gentle smile, “I’ve got water, a couple different kinds of soda, and if you’re feeling really adventurous…some juice boxes.” 

I visibly relaxed as a smile tugged at my lips, “Water…please.” 

His smile widened as he pulled a bottle out of the ice and handed it to me. He grabbed a juice box for himself, unwrapping the straw and stabbing it into the top with pursed lips. “Sorry, I probably should have worded that differently. I know you're sober.” 

I shook my head and waved it off, “No big deal. Don’t even worry about it.” 

His brows furrowed, eyes shifting up to meet mine as he took a quick pull from the straw before setting the drink down beside the grill. “No, I get it. I’m eight years sober myself. I remember how hard and awkward it was in those early days. People can be weird when you say you don’t drink…or do anything else for that matter.” 

I nodded, “Yeah, I’ve been lucky enough to not run into that yet. I’ve been keeping to myself a lot…” 

He picked up the tongs to flip the patties on the grill, “So how long has it been for you?”

I screwed the cap off the water and took a swig, “Ten months. Longest I’ve ever been sober since all that shit started.”

He smiled, “That’s good. When you hit a year, we’ll have to do something to celebrate. That’s a big deal.”

I nodded, feeling warmth creeping up my cheeks from the praise. “Yeah, I mean…I think I owe Kat for a lot of it. She’s been so supportive when others haven’t…It makes a lot of difference when you have people in your corner.” 

Marc nodded, “That’s so true. I never would have made it without Val. She held me to it, and I’m so thankful for that.” He paused, turning toward me with raised brows. “You know, if you ever need to talk about it or anything…I don’t mind. Sometimes it helps to talk through things with someone that’s been there. Especially if you’re having a moment…” 

He pulled out his phone, “No pressure, but we can exchange digits that way you have it.” 

I reached to pull my phone out of my pocket, “Yeah…sure. That’s really nice of you actually.” 

I gave him my new number, then he sent me a text message so I could save his to my contact list. That was a development I wasn’t expecting, but I was strangely happy about it. I suddenly felt much better about how the evening was going to go. Kat caught my eye, giving me a questioning look. Something must have shifted about my body language, and she could sense it. I smirked, giving her a quick wink before taking another drink of water. 

My attention shifted back to Marc as he handed me a large platter to hold while he piled the different meats on top of it, announcing the food was ready. We settled into easy conversation as we ate, getting to know one another a little better. Everyone seemed at ease. There was no pressure or awkwardness. It was nice to have normal conversation without all the posturing and cockiness that often came with Hollywood type gatherings. It was exactly what I needed. 

As we all became more comfortable with each other, they got a little braver with their questions. Which led to Stefanie giving Kat and I a deadpan stare before asking, “So what’s really going on with you two? I’m not buying whatever shit TMZ put out today.” 

Kat and I gave each other a nervous glance, I shrugged and held my hand up in surrender toward her indicating I was good with whatever she wanted to say. 

She took a deep breath, smiling nervously as her eyes roamed around the table, “Well…we’re…”

She paused, her brows arching as her eyes found mine again. “I mean yeah…we’re together, but we’re trying to keep it under wraps…for several reasons.”

They were all smiling at us now. Stefanie threw her arms in the air like she had just won something, “I fucking knew it! I knew it. How long?” 

Kat and I laughed at her enthusiasm. “Not long. Just since New York,” I answered.

Stefanie playfully shoved Marc, “I fucking told you. You owe me $100.” 

Marc rolled his eyes, “Fine, I’ll Venmo you.” 

Kat and I both scoffed, laughing over the fact they were making bets. 

Marc pulled out his phone and began tapping away, “Don’t worry guys, we won’t say anything. I know Alec is an issue.”

Kat gave him a tight smile, “Yeah, we figured it best not to provoke him as much as possible. He’s looking for any excuse he can find to make what happened be my fault. There’s also Stacia and Joe with their meddling…I don’t want to give them the satisfaction of thinking they had anything to do with this.” 

Valarie’s brows furrowed, “So what’s with the beach pictures and social media posts then?”

I chuckled, “Well, I apparently have an asshole neighbor that took pictures of us in what is essentially my back yard and sold them to TMZ. They reached out to my team asking if it was Kat, so I told them to deny it. I’m just gonna play it off like I’m seeing someone else…a total misdirection. At minimum, it’ll cause a little chaos and make Stacia and Joe lose their shit. We’ll see how long it lasts.” 

Everyone laughed. Stefanie clapped her hands several times before announcing, “If anyone asks, we’ve all met Dieter’s new woman and she’s amazing. I’m totally backing this chaos.”

Agreements sounded out around the table which had Kat and I leaning into each other and laughing. We relaxed some after that. Now that our secret was out, I felt more comfortable showing affection toward her and her toward me. It was nice not to have to hold back, to be able to reach out and touch her when I wanted to, to put my arm around her or rest my hand on her thigh. At least we now felt like we had a safe space among friends. 

Marc eventually steered the conversation to Kat’s plans after this season ended, which was something she and I hadn’t really discussed. We had been very much in the present up to this point and I was suddenly feeling like an asshole for not asking about it myself. 

Kat’s excitement was clear as she answered, “Well, I’m really hoping to open up my own dance studio…and I would love to offer some classes for things that are a little harder to find around here. I still need to do more market research to see how that would look, but we can always have the normal stuff to fall back on too. I haven’t got to put as much work into yet as I would like, but once the show is over, I’m gonna jump in head first and see what happens.”

Marc seemed extremely interested in this, leaning forward with excitement in his eyes, “That’s amazing. I was actually considering doing the same. I still haven’t decided if I’m gonna do another season or not…but I did want to look at something like that when I’m finished. Maybe we can team up.” 

Everyone began to throw ideas around at that point. It seemed like there was a real possibility something was brewing. I made a mental note to bring it up with Kat again later. I wanted to make sure I was supportive and help in any way I could. I also liked the thought of helping her plan for the future, because I really hoped that I would be welcomed as part of it. 

After we finished up with dinner, we moved to the garage. Marc had converted the space to his “Jam Room”. It was full of various instruments - a piano in one corner while a drum set sat in the other. Several different types of guitars hung on the wall along with some small handheld percussion instruments. Microphones and small speakers sat around the room. It seemed to be a proper setup for making music, which surprised me. I wasn’t expecting to walk into this. 

Kat looked almost giddy as she took in the space, which surprised me. She seemed to be coming out of her shell, which was understandable. They did well to make us feel welcome and relaxed. 

Marc pulled an electric guitar down from the wall while Kira took her place at the drums, making it obvious they had done this before. Marc began to strum a slow sexy tune as Kira joined in with a beat. Stefanie started dancing around the room to the music as Valarie sat down at the piano. My gaze turned to Kat, she looked amused as her eyes met mine. 

I smiled, arching my brows as my head began to sway with the music. She laughed, her cheeks flushing as she watched me move. I took it up a few notches, rolling my torso and hips as I shuffled toward her. I raised my arms, moving them to the beat, biting my bottom lip as I enticed her to join me. I was dancing for her, showing her what else these loose hips can do outside of the ballroom. 

“What’s the matter, honey? Too hot for you?” I asked. 

I could hear everyone else chuckling behind me as I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the center of the room to do a little old fashioned dirty dancing. When the song concluded, I pulled her in for a quick kiss and everyone whooped and whistled, which had her blushing even more. Once everyone settled down, I leaned in next to her ear, “Want me to go get your guitar?” 

She gave me a toothy grin and nodded. After another quick kiss, I made my way outside to the car. I was back with both of our cases within minutes as Marc found a couple more chairs and microphones for us to join the circle. A couple of hours passed by in no time as we took turns choosing songs to play. Those who knew them joined in while the others just vibed. It was honestly the most fun I had in a long time. 

Stefanie asked if she could take some videos to post on social media. We all agreed, figuring it would be good content to promote the show since we were supposed to be doing that anyway. I felt less weird about it since it was a whole group of people from the cast, rather than just Kat and me. I still felt pretty strongly about not taking advantage of our relationship to boost my own career. Deep down I knew that any content of us together would do that, but I did want to have some limits on it. She wasn’t a plaything for me to use as I saw fit. It needed to be on her terms. 

After several minutes passed, Marc suggested that we go live and maybe take some song requests from the chat and answer some fan questions. After some coaxing, we all agreed. As Marc worked to set up the tripod, Stefanie turned to me with a mischievous smile, “Dieter, please try and behave yourself around Kat. I don’t wanna be on TMZ tomorrow for encouraging an affair that will destroy your imaginary girlfriend’s heart.” 

That drew a round of laughter from everyone as I scrunched up my face, “I guess I already have a reputation…I’ll try my best.” 

Once Marc had his phone set up, he mirrored his screen to one of the TV’s hanging on the wall so we could all see the chat, then we went live. Within minutes there were over two thousand viewers. The numbers only climbed from there, with people posting in all caps about Kat and I being there. 

Kat snickered and pointed at the screen, “I guess the Dieterina Stans found us already.”

We waved and said ‘hi’ to everyone. Since it was Marc’s Instagram account, we motioned for him to take over and share what was going on. The song recommendations began to roll in, with Marc and Stefanie taking the lead on the first two. After that, the chat flooded with requests for me and Kat to sing. I deferred to her on that, asking if she wanted to do one. She shrugged, then asked the viewers for some song recs. We laughed over some of the options thrown out as she joked about them not being her style. Suddenly her brows arched as if something caught her attention. A smirk formed on her lips, “Hmm, that one is certainly a mood.”

We all gave her a questioning look. “Which one?” I asked. 

She pulled the lyrics and chords up on her phone and propped it on the stand in front of us. I couldn’t help cackling. It would definitely send a message. 

She turned to everyone else, “You guys know Eyes on Fire by Blue Foundation?"

Stefanie bounced up and down, laughing maniacally and clapping her hands. Probably having the same thought that I did. “I do! I’ll do the backup vocals.” 

I swapped out my acoustic for one of Marc’s electric guitars for this one, playing the intro as Kat and Stefanie started in on the ethereal vocables that the song opens with. Kat’s voice took on an almost haunting melancholic tone as she dove into the first verse. The smirk still graced her lips as a knowing look passed between us. This was totally a major ‘fuck you’ to Alec, and I knew I was going to love every second of it. 

🎶Listen to Eyes on Fire Here.

I'll seek you out / Flay you alive / One more word and you won't survive / And I'm not scared / Of your stolen power / I see right through you any hour I won't soothe your pain / I won't ease your strain / You've been waiting in vain / I've got nothing for you to gain

It was hard not to be absolutely mesmerized by her as she worked her way through the lyrics. It was obvious to me that something had finally shifted for her. She had taken back her life and was owning it - putting it out there for the world to see. She had escaped hell and was now controlling the narrative. It was her game to play. I loved seeing her like this, free to be herself and not holding back. It was a beautiful sight. My infatuation with her was probably written all over my face as I strummed the chords to the song, but I didn’t care. She was stunning like this. 

Stefanie continued to sing the background vocals as Kat moved on to the next verse. Her eyes focused on me hungrily, our connection causing the air around us to vibrate. There was just something about us and music. It didn’t matter if we were dancing, playing, or singing. It caused an electricity to buzz around us, linking us together in a metaphysical way.     

I'm taking it slow / Feeding my flame / Shuffling the cards of your game / And just in time / In the right place / Suddenly I will play my ace I won't soothe your pain / I won't ease your strain / You've been waiting in vain / I've got nothing for you to gain

At this point, the song was reaching the crescendo. Kira joined in with the drums and Marc with the bass guitar. I layered my vocals along with Kat’s, the sound even more haunting now as we finished out the final verse. 

Eyes on fire / Your spine is ablaze / Felling any foe with my gaze / And just in time / In the right place / Steadily emerging with grace / Felling any foe with my gaze / Steadily emerging with grace

The chat was going absolutely insane when we finished. I thought I even saw a few “fuck Alec” comments fly by in the chaos of it. 

Stefanie began to clap again, “I think we should start a band. We’re kicking ass here.” 

We all laughed as she turned to me, “Alright Bravo, you’re up. Whatta ya got?” 

I pursed my lips, “I dunno, I’m open to suggestions…” 

We watched the chat flood with comments, there were a few song recommendations but there were even more questions. 

Where’s Bravo’s new lady? Funny how everyone else has their romantic partner there except for Dieter. Dieter is so full of shit. We all know it’s Kat.  Yo Bravo, where’s your beach babe? We wanna meet her! Has Kat met Dieter’s new girl?

I let out a nervous laugh as I glanced at Kat. She winked then gave me a mischievous smile before turning to the camera, “Guys chill. Yes, I’ve met Dieter’s significant other. I know her very well. We’re all friends.”

I chuckled, “Yeah, don’t worry. She’s not being left out…she’s here with me.”

This is the biggest conspiracy since the moon landing.  I’m too high for this shit. What’s even happening? I thought he was gay? This hurts my soul. You two are made for each other! #Dieterina #NotJustFriends Maybe it's a throuple situation. No way they haven’t boned.  Poor Kat, she's like the 7th wheel now. 

I couldn’t help laughing at the comments, “Guys, come on, be nice…back to the song recs please.” 

A song title finally caught my attention. I took a minute to check in with Kira and Marc to see if they were familiar with it before adjusting the mic so that I could stand for this one. I needed to be able to move around a bit. Once I was situated, Marc got us started with the opening guitar riff for The Devil Wears Lace. It was a nice little blues song about desire, temptation, attraction, and obsession. 

Kat, Stefanie, and Val provided entertainment by dancing around us. It was all good fun until Kat’s eyes locked with mine. Her moves became more provocative as she approached me. By the time I hit the chorus she was the only thing I could focus on. 

🎶Listen to The Devil Wears Lace Here.

So light me in flames / Just as hot as you need / Let me see the good girl you wanted to be / All of my praise, only from me  / I can be the one who could set you free / Fall from your grace / Turn up the heat / I feel I'm going down, hands gripping the sheets / Settin' the pace / Number the beast / Got me by the belt, heart skippin' a beat / The devil and me

She moved around me, against me, up and down my body. I played into it of course, wiggling against her as I belted out the lyrics - both of us giving each other mischievous smiles. This was definitely going to get the conspiracy theories going. I couldn’t bother to care because she looked so fucking hot dancing like this. The slow sensual roll of her body was a sight to behold, and it was all mine. I loved to see her let loose and have fun like this. 

When the song ended, she strutted away before bursting into laughter. It was a little infectious, causing me to do the same. The chuckles of everyone else drew my attention to the monitor. The comments had gone completely unhinged by this point.

They definitely fucked, at least once.  Nobody pay attention to that vibrating sound… This is how pornos start. I’m not mad about it.  So, IT IS a throuple then?  I think Dieter’s secret lady likes to watch. I don’t blame her…Kat’s ass is a work of art.  I’m still calling it a conspiracy. Kat is the beach chic. I know that ass and those thighs.  

I huffed out a laugh and shook my head, “Can we not talk about Kat like that please? She’s not a piece of meat.”

Kat snorted out a laugh as she squeezed my arm in thanks. Marc jumped in to try and redirect the conversation, “Alright guys…I think one more and we’re gonna call it a night since we do have a rather long day tomorrow.”

He paused, obviously reading the comments about the show before chuckling, “Oh obviously Stefanie and I are gonna win the trophy.”

I laughed, “Hey now! We’ve gone all night without trash talking. Don’t you start…besides, obviously Kat and I are gonna win. I’m gonna call it though, we’ll be the top two groups. Nobody is beating us.” 

Marc rolled his eyes, “Yeah, don’t try to sweet talk me after insulting me.” 

Stefanie cut in, placing her hands on her hips as she spoke, “Now boys. Let’s play nice or Kat and I will drop you both and claim the win for ourselves.” 

Marc and I both rolled our eyes in response as Val cut in, “Hey, how about we stop bickering and end with that song we did earlier. That was a good one…”

Marc and I both furrowed our brows, waiting for her to continue. She chuckled at our similar expressions before answering, “All on My Mind.”

We nodded as I shouted, “Ok…Kat we’re up.”

Kat and I took our place, sharing a freestanding mic as everyone jumped in with their instruments. I took lead, singing the main verses while Kat joined in on the chorus, alternating the lines. 

🎶 Listen to All on My Mind Here.

I said, "Oh, honey, just like that" / I give you my loving and you give it right back / I said, "Oh, honey, just like this" / Hanging on white knuckle grip

Kat and I sang together for the remainder of the chorus while the rest of the group jumped in on the repeated lines.

It's all on my mind / Feel something when I kiss you good night / It's all on my mind / Feel something when I open my eyes / It's all on my mind / Feel that I could be your sweetest compromise / It's all on my mind / It's all on my mind

Our eyes stayed on each other, big smiles on our lips as we belted out the words in unison. I couldn’t deny that we sounded amazing together. Our voices complemented each other perfectly, especially when we leaned into the bluesy sounds of the music. Hell, truth be told, we all sounded pretty amazing as a group. Nothing could compare to how it felt singing with Kat though. We finished out the last verse together, completely at ease and having fun. 

Well, me and my baby are the bass in the beat / A lo-fi rhythm, the sweat and the heat / Come on now lover, won't you follow my lead / And we'll move on into the night

The energy in the room was high as we finished it out after everyone gave it their all on the chorus refrain. It was probably the best one of the night. The chat was going wild with praise for everyone, but Kat and I were getting most of the attention. 

Can we just get this crew their own show? So much more entertaining. 🙌 Dieter and Kat are amazing together. 😍😍😍 I had no idea Dieter Bravo had this much talent. Kat, marry me. I’m NOT an asshole. 🙏🙏 Both? Both. Yes. 😏 

We all said our goodbyes after that, promising to do another live soon since we had so much fun together. Once Marc disconnected, we all broke into a fit of laughter.

Marc was still chuckling as he said, “I’m sure Stacia and Joe are gonna have a lot to say about that.”

“Yeah, I’m sure my publicist will too. I’ve done nothing but cause chaos all day,” I replied. 

Kat came over, snaking her arm around my waist. She fought a smile as she leaned into me, “And, the plot thickens. Apparently, we’re in a throuple with your mystery lady now.”

I shook my head, “Yeah…I’m not even upset about that. I’ve been accused of worse things. I’m not sharing my Kit Kat though…” I paused, reaching down to swat her butt cheek, “This is Bravo’s ass.” 

Her eyes darkened as she attempted to give me an admonishing look, but she failed. She was totally turned on by that. 

My brow arched as she fought a smile. We were completely oblivious to everyone’s amused eyes on us. When we finally turned to look at them, a blush crept up Kat’s cheeks. 

I cleared my throat, “Well, everyone…this was fun. We should do it again.” 

They all nodded with knowing smiles. “We should probably…uhh…head out. We all have a ridiculously early start in the morning and I wanna be well rested so I can kick your ass on the dance floor.” 

Marc and Stefanie both gave me a deadpan stare before flipping the bird, causing me to let out a boisterous laugh. “Ahh, I think I’ve finally found my people.”

Kat and I said our goodbyes, grabbing our guitar cases then heading out the door. The air around us was thick on the drive home. Kat definitely didn’t help the situation with her hand wandering dangerously close to a very much at attention little Bravo. Her eyes cut toward me with a smirk on her lips every time she did it. 

We started pulling each other’s clothes off as soon as we walked through the door. We may not have gone to bed at a decent hour, but we definitely fell asleep happy and satiated. 

Monday mornings meant performance day. We followed our usual routine, arriving at Television City studios extremely early so we could get our camera blocking out of the way first. That went smoothly and we nailed the routine on each run through. We were feeling pretty confident about it as we headed toward wardrobe for our final fitting. 

Kat’s costume for the week really had my attention. There was just something about her in red. It looked amazing against her dark features and golden skin, giving her a sultry edge. This dress was no exception, the way it draped around her body and gathered in the back accentuated her curves in the best way. Her back and shoulders were completely exposed, emphasizing the muscular contours. This was an area that I had never given much attention to on woman, but hers were so fucking sexy. I couldn't help staring as she raised her arms and turned this way and that for Amy to pin bits of fabric for some minor alterations. The image was seared into my brain, I knew it would be the subject of one of my paintings later. 

I ended up ditching the jacket and tie that went with my costume. It felt too constricting for the choreography of this dance. Before it was all said and done, I only wore the red pants and red velvety button up shirt - leaving several buttons open and rolling up the sleeves, at Kat’s request, of course. 

(More after the graphics.)

Hair and makeup were pretty uneventful. We managed to snag our usual ladies, filling our time with banter and jokes as they worked. They gave Kat a sleek up-do this time. I swear she rolled her eyes every time they added a new bobby pin. I sort of didn’t mind it though, because I knew I would be the one to help her take them all out later. She suggested they leave my hair in loose curls this week. To my surprise, they actually did. However, they still put a shit ton of gel and hairspray in it to my dismay. 

We had managed to avoid Alec and Lana the entire morning. We assumed he was hiding out in his dressing room as much as he could. Word seemed to be spreading about what an absolute asshole he was to Kat, and many didn’t take too kindly to it. He was no longer the popular one of the cast and Kat loved every second of it. His ego was definitely taking a hit, which was the one thing that would hurt him the most. 

We could only be lucky for so long. Alec and Lana were already in the staging area when we got there. He didn’t even bother to try and hide the disdain on his still slightly bruised face. Lana kept shooting glances our way with an odd expression. It was almost smug, maybe? I couldn’t quite figure it out. Kat and I made sure to watch ourselves since the backstage cameras were circling like sharks, being sure to keep our interactions friendly between each other. We also made a point to not look Alec and Lana’s way after the initial sizing up. We didn’t want to give the producers anything to work with. 

Kat did the opening performance with Marc and the rest of their group, then rushed to change. I stayed with her the entire time, not chancing leaving her alone while the asshole was in the same building. There would not be another repeat of what happened after New York. 

Alec and Lana were two performances ahead of us, still doing very well and obtaining a high score. They scored 2 points under Marc and Stefanie, which put them in second place for the night. If Kat and I had it our way, they would soon be in third. 

We went through our usual routine of picking a hype song. I took the lead again this week, pulling up one of my favorite rock songs, You Shook Me All Night Long. Kat gave me that little smirk that I loved so damn much as she shook her head and laughed at me. I shrugged before transitioning into some of my goofy dance moves - pursing my lips as I wiggled my hips. She joined in of course, laughing at my ridiculousness through the entirety of it.

Before we knew it, it was our turn. Kat took her place in the center of the dance floor. As the music began to play, I walked toward her seductively, caressing her cheek as I circled her before grazing her nose with mine. After fanning her outward, our fast paced choreography synced with the quick beat of the Spanish style guitars. We commanded the attention of the room with our strong staccato footwork and vivacious presence. It was every bit as dramatic as we had intended it to be. 

I’ll admit, I was nervous about my solo part. Up until this point, I hadn’t really had choreography this challenging without Kat by my side. The quick and precise body movements along with the flamenco style footwork while trying to exude assertive energy really was a lot of work. However, we only had to do it once. I didn’t have to pace myself for hours of rehearsal time, which meant I put everything I had into it. By the time I reunited with Kat to finish out the last part of the routine, I was feeling pretty damn cocky about the whole thing. The cockiness only added to the overall effect and took the performance over the top. 

Kat’s movements were fluid and graceful as she danced around me, waving her flowy skirt. We continued with the stomping footwork, shaping our arms and hands into dramatic poses as we sidestepped each other. The electricity between us was buzzing at max levels as it always did when we performed together. The intensity of her gaze nearly took my breath away the handful of times our eyes connected. We were both in the zone and fucking killing it. We ended with a dramatic lift. I caught her by the hand before she fell back onto the floor for a dip to end it. 

I pulled her upward and wrapped my arms around her as the crowd’s near deafening screams and applause sounded around us. I had to fight the urge to crash my lips against hers at that moment. There was so much adrenaline and passion between us that I could have burst into flames from it. I wanted nothing more than to get her home and work some of it off. 

We went through the whole routine of doing the interview and waiting for our scores. With massive effort, we managed to keep our hands off each other in any inappropriate way. The whole thing was a blur. I don’t think I paid a lick of attention to anything the judges actually said. All I know is we got another perfect score, putting us in first place - again. To our surprise, we were met with more cheers than usual from the cast. Marc and Stefanie were the loudest among them of course. 

Marc and Stefanie invited us out for a celebratory dinner afterwards. I left it up to Kat. She declined, citing how this week had worn her out and she wanted to go home and get some rest before we woke up to do it all over again. They were bummed but understanding. I was a little bummed too, until we walked through the door at my place. 

Kat was definitely not as worn out as she let on, dragging me upstairs to the bedroom, peeling clothes off as we went. After a rather passionate round of sex, I made sure to give her a lot of aftercare that included a massage and hot bath while I made her some dinner. She might not have been feeling it right then with the rush of endorphins we both had surging through our veins, but I knew she would be soon. This week had been rough, and I wanted to see to it that she was properly taken care of so that we were ready to take on whatever week 8 had in store for us. 

✨Fun Fact: The song that Dieter and Kat are dancing to is this chapter is called Uccen, which translate to "The Wolf". Given that Dieter wears that little wolf ring, I found it fitting.

✨Your Paso Doble video for this chapter can be found HERE. Seriously, one of the best performances ever. It won and Emmy! This couple is married in real life and always burn up the dance floor when they perform.

Next: Week 8

A/N: So, this got posted a couple days later than I had planned. It was a doozy to edit and I'm sure I probably missed a lot. I do apologize but work did indeed kick my ass last week. Hopefully it was worth the wait.

We got lots of smutty goodness in this chapter. I 100% blame Mr. Pascal for his holiday beach antics. There was just too much inspiration. Some of it was planned and some of it wasn't. I'm not sorry.

Dieter and Kat are getting pretty close. They are completely embedding each other in the other's life. All of Dieter's people know now and Kat's sister knows. Dieter is pouring his heart out and sharing about his past, yet Kat is still in her head about everything. Do we smell drama brewing there?

They've also made some new friends. How are we feeling about Marc and crew? Good or bad?

Dieter has started his Instagram live shit. More to come on that. Also...his Instagram posts, that man is stirring up all the drama with those. Good or bad idea?

Zee got some love in this chapter. I love me some good Dee and Zee drama. They are both shit heads and we love them for that.

There was so much that went down in this chapter that I can't think of what all to highlight. So, please do show some love with a reblog and sound off about it. I wanna hear all the unhinged thoughts!

Week 8 will bring us the Viennese Waltz, and with that comes LOTS of drama. Y'all might want to have a tissue handy, because the shit is going to hit the fan.

Until next time,

💜Mysty

Chapter Credits: - Giving @avastrasposts credit for the SuccDee name. She saw it when I didn't, even though it was right there. -Major credit to @bitchwitch1981 for song inspo. She turned me onto The Devil Wears Lace and All on My Mind.

Taglist: @titlee78 @legendary-pink-dot  @survivingandenduring @wannab-urs  @harriedandharassed

@hisandsnakes  @misstokyo7love @readingiskeepingmegoing  @runningmom94  @sin-djarin

@cakipy-blog  @missladym1981  @guelyury  @weho2kcmo  @alokaerza  

@girlofchaos  @trulybetty  @bitchwitch1981  @madnessofadaydreamer

@darkheartgatita  @jazzloveslatte  @timpletance  @musings-of-a-rose  @samiamproductions

@myloveistoolittle  @for-a-longlongtime   @copperhalfcent  @auteurdelabre @drewharrisonwriter

@burntheedges  @stevie75  @bunniboo0015  @quicax3  @jackie923

@sherala007  @pastelnap  @angelofsmalldeath-codeine  @jessthebaker  @rebel-held

@gwendibleywrites  @senorabond  @annalovesflorida  @sandaltoesocks  @katw474

@txlady37 @inkmonster21 @sunnytuliptime @jeewrites

[pinkyqily]

esmee fic 👀 black reader who plays for barcelona and fans find out that reader does esmee's gameday braids. they start to suspect that reader and esmee are together!!!

MY ONLY ONE Esmee brugts x Black reader

Summary : fans put pieces together and find out not only are you dating esmee but you're the one who does her game day braids 💗

Contains: Esmee x black!reader, Fluff, Pina braids slander because tf not

A/n: Thank you so much for requesting this 🫶🏿 I enjoyed every bit of writing for this fic, and I hope you enjoy reading this if you have any other esmee requests or for any other player send them my way feedback are always appreciated and happy reading.

You and esmee have recently been dropping little hints about your relationship on social media. It all started when es posted a little story about your date that included a scenery pic.

You on the other hand, took it up a notch with postings you and esmee holding hands nothing to crazy, just enough to have people sitted for a soft lunch.

The second time you guys posted again was at the men's home game where your other teammates had accompany you.

Es had given you her hoodie because you felt a little cold and you made a story post about her jester. Which was where fans started connecting the dots because esmee had posted a photo dump.

In one of the pictures, you guys had taken a group photo, esmee still had her jacket in it. And your story of having es jacket on was stil up.

Everyone was either theorizing about the both of you or trying to convince themselves esmee was just helping out her forgetful teammates.

But something that blew it all up was a video that vicky took of you braiding esme hair a few days before a game. Confirming all the rumors about you too with the very accidental video.

"How come you only braid esmee hair before we have games". You heard a voice say making you look lose concentration on what you we're doing."Because one she's my girlfriend and two you never asked me to braid your hair, I mean you and pina share the same braider so your point?". You told the curly haired girl as you continued braiding not noticing she was recording.

"Aye! You can't blame me for sharing braiding info Claudia wouldn't leave me alone until I told her". You heard her say as esmee was laughing at her.

"Not our fault you have a weak backbone". Your girlfriend said moving the posting of her head onto your lap.

"Es stay stil for me I'm almost done". You told her, leaving a kiss on her cheek, unaware that vicky was stil filming.

"You're both so disgustingly inlove makes me want to puke". Vicky's voice echoes through the room making an exit to leave.

"You'll understand love one day, Vick." You yelled out to the younger girl as she left.

Vicky wasn't even paying attention when she posted the video as she had already left her phone in the locker room, not paying attention to what she had posted.

It wasn't until a break was called that pina came up to your group that consisted of you, esmee, vicky,salma and cata.

"Why would you guys say that about me and vicky you galdy gave me the braider info I did not pressure you to giving me". Pina said frankly looking annoyed.

"What did vicky post?". You had asked the younger girl looking quite confused. That when it hit vicky she had accidentally posted it public instead of close friends.

"I can explain it was meant for close friends I didn't know it got posted for the whole world, you can blame ona for rushing me you know". She said trying to defend herself.

"I don't care about it being posted you just ruined my soft lunch ugh". You told the group of friends.

"There's no point in hiding it again, baby we can just hard lunch I do have some photos of us that I've always wanted to post." You heard your girlfriend say.

"You guys problem is fixed but what about vicky badmouthing me to the internet". Pina said now irritated at the fact that people are going to think she harassed the younger girl for braiding info.

"You can start by stop getting them done, because people are calling you Lauren james knock off of the uwcl." You told pina making the group of girls around you laugh as you and esmee walked away from them.

“You’ll still braid my hair for me right”. You heard Vicky asking. "Si Si, you better get back to practice before your guardian Alexia comes and drag you away.

Yourusername&esmeebrugts

Cats out the bag thank you so much @vickylopez for ruining my soft lunch liked by ona.batlle, salma paralluelo and 12,034 people

Comments limited

@Vickylopez you're welcome me next for when you do esmee hair again

@ona.batlle freaking finally

@wosofan19w9 I knew it from the starts did anyone else see Vicky's story of them making fun of pina

@Claudiapina you don't need to rub it in our faces《Youreplied @patriguijarro doesn't keep you satisfied què? 《Claudiapina she's my bestfriend why would we be kissing?

@mapileòn @esmeebrugts when's the wedding?《@esmeebrugts replied when you tell us when yours and Ingrid is 😄

@sophiasmith happy for you bubs 💕 《Youreplied 🫶🏿

@yournumber1fan the chaos in this comment section

@cata.coll @kika you owe me 50€

[northwestcomixcollective]

post epilogue au bill jerry mandi schizoposting delirium whatever hte fuck Context here im quoting comic books and literature no one on tumblrs ever heard of its mostly for archive purposes and the people that care at least a little bit

i sort of picture bills homosexuality as sort of like a thing he would never admit to or act upon and especially with jerry being the only guy who's ever tried to reach out to him and be kind to him to touch him to reach out etc etc being deprived of human touch for 10 years i definitely think they're gay i picture him as a bukowski or crumb bu,t in the way they objectify and degrade women and not the sort of intellectual type and at the same time bwing q repressed homosexual virgin in his late twenties is something i really want to explore

sex isnt everythinf but seeing how important it is for them and how significative and how women are sexual objects and all i think it definitely affects his view on himselg

i think there's this underlying animalistic urge to be close and be together theyve been around eachother since they were kids they really have no one else that's been through what they've been through and even though jerry wants to let go bill is still stuck on it which is why he's so clingy to jerry he's the only thing he has left really the only person that reached out the only guy that somewhat cares i wouldnt be talking about bill clinging on like a koala ofherwise he really does """"love"""" jerry jn the sense he let him stay he touches his shoulder he gave him a change of clothes despite everything that hapoened see gif below

i definitely want there to be a scene of bill breaking down and being liek Jerry....... i like men.......... and just like crying geeking and jerry holding him close and putting his cold nose on his neck and telling him it's all finewhile holding him he caresses him blalallaa whatever for the first time in like 30 something years he feels appreciated loved and held jerry doesnt even know what he's doing holding this piece of shit garbage scum that said the most obscene garbage to his girlfriend who is in the next room ten years ago i think for jerry its also nice to hold him because his parents never really did it which is sort of shown in the pilot where he holds himself when he's excited or nervous as a self soothing method and he feels like hes giving the love he never really received as a child See picture below

in his mind bill really could change. Because he really could change he just needed the right people around him. the resentment he feels towards bill fluctuates he resents him for everything that happened at comic-con he resents him for never treating him well when they were younger he resents him for waltzing into his house drenched in snot rain and tears and taking up space in what was supposed to be a place he could be comfortable and at peace in

billjer i wanted to compare it to ralf könig's "swiss bliss" but bills friends aren't nearly as tolerant of gays as the guys friends who tell him he isnt gay and he's not like that and they dont believe it theyd straigjt up just exile him i think it's more like "maybe ... maybe not" again by ralf könig picture attached below jerry would never make a move first i think bills vulnerable situation and lack of human contact and sort of praise and appreciation he has for jerry for housing him would sort of bring him to do it i think if they ever got to kiss or make out like this styleit would be during a heated argument or while they're drunk they wouldnt be able to stop thems3lves but if it ever escalates i think jerry could easily let bill go and let him slam his head against something and just go into another room and start pacing fucking freaking out see picture below,

if anyone wants to jump me for shipping bill and mandi its3now or never SCREAM ID YOU LOVE BILL AND MANDI

although i asked dorkin and he already told me it isnt true i still want to explore mandi being the same girl that walked into joe's comic book store in "this monster, this fan" because of the character dynamics i could explore and thoughts and interpretations i dont givea fuck im schizoposting about bill blowing jerry im basically doing whatever i wajt with the already existing comic thog dont care i think they both remember the day really clearly but since bill is so so focused on jerry he barely even glances at her because she was basically violated by like. what 15 men in a comic book store including grown men taking a picture of her like thats vile bill doesnt want to think about it he doesn't want to confront her or say anything ever because the humiliation of already being in someone else's house eating their food taking up space is too much

see earlier mention of crumb

the way crumb depicts women as something divine unachievable incomprehensible and as sex objects and puts them in the strangest most violent situations where is definitely something i see bill in especially in the epilogue where he and the rest just start babbling about how the female cosplayers are too ugly fat or arent white and dont fit their standards the way they're always depicted reading smut pornography or just looking at pinups of women (sometimes in violent situations as well) and the interaction he had at joe's all formed and turned his mindset into something utterly vile negative and disgustifn

see previous mention of bukowski

in this book the narrator is always pointing out faults in women i definitely see him as bill in the sense of being so negative hateful and even when in love he still manages to criticize his potential lover it could be bill and mandi but their relationship is much more complex to me since neither of them actually love eqchpther they just carnally need one another the way he's just really pathetic drunk and all just reminds me of bill as well mandi hates bill for being a man she's attracted to him because he's so fucking pathetic and gross it's exciting bill is attracted to mandi because she's a woman he detests her for being a stupid cunt who speaks her mind and is independent theyre both secretly having an affair one is slightly homoerotic the other one is just straight up abusive bill doesnt like to talk to anyone in the house he's extremely embarrassed and ashamed not only because he's in his friends house living there with his girlfriend who he hates but because he had the balls to reach out for help especially from a guy who beat the shit out of him last time they ever saw eachother mandi tries to talk it out but bill is so unbelievably childish he doesn't speak to anyone or do anything he's just silent i love them because they beat the shit out of eachofher and bill is a sexist pig and mandi is a woman they're all having an affair with eachother if any of them find out the other one is dating everything will go down genuinely but it wont since they're all too busyv hiding something from the other

i definitely think he would crash out on her but in the most like. formal way possible because he doesnt want to get kicked out and its shown he sort of knows when it's appropriate to shut up unlike josh who just starts geeking

+ jerry & mandi sketch im not finishing to get a glimpse into what i picture them both to be. healthy happy and everything good

[thekoalapastriesbakery]

Singer!Male reader being flirted with by franco (having been invited by apline for half the season if thats a thing) but reader see's him as a slightly funnier version of his ex, said ex would flirt with everyone like franco does have all these rumors about him sleeping around (ex was famous too) and even have a supposed side piece which he drags to readers concerts, anyway franco is obviously not getting very far but he does make some head way once he hears some off handed rumors from other drivers and stops flirting so much with others that aren't reader which leads to franco asking reader out, reader saying yes and after like the third or fourth date telling franco why he didn't want to date him then they live happily ever after. – 🍑

you're really cautious about franco. you'd never so much as spoken to him at all, but he reminded you too much of your ex. sure, you were the only man he flirted with as openly as he flirted with women, but that wasn't necessarily an argument in his favour. your ex was notoriously untrustworthy, and you'd missed all the signs.

from the very beginning, your friends had warned you about how your ex had flirted with just about everyone. you'd waved them off and said he was just a flirty guy–it didn't mean anything!

when the rumours started that he was sleeping around, you still didn't listen. a number of other celebrities had been speculated to have had at least a brief fling with your boyfriend at the time. an even more numerous group of fans claimed they'd had romantic or sexual experiences with him. it killed you, because deep, deep down, you knew they were telling the truth. but denial was a powerful thing.

and so it continued. the rumours, the missed calls and cancelled dates, the nights he came home smelling like someone else. you didn't want to believe any of it. even when there were whispers about him bringing a sidepiece to your concerts, you didn't believe it. obviously those rumours were fake. he'd never be so audacious as to cheat on you at your own show.

then you saw him one night. singing the love song you (regretfully) wrote for him, and you see him mouthing the lyrics lovingly to the person beside him and kissing them like you were just some disembodied voice.

you damn near stopped the show right then and there. you didn't. as terrible as you felt, as hurt as you were, your fans meant twice as much to you as he ever did. you wouldn't let them down. you did, however, announce a brief intermission at the end of that song. the second you were backstage and your mic had been turned off, you called security and told them to get him and his date out.

your manager got a head-start back to the hotel room you were sharing with your boyfriend to grab your things. you went back on stage, and very publicly announced that you were freshly single.

franco did much of the same things. you hadn't heard any rumours of him ever cheating on a partner, but he flirted with anyone in front of him, he had a reputation as a playboy, and he was brazen with his relationships. when he started leaving flirty (and, on occasion, outright thirsty) comments on your posts, you ignored it. you couldn't put yourself through that again.

getting invited to a grand prix with alpine was not even slightly on your bucket-list, but ... you had always taken an interest in the sport, and it would be cool to see it up close and personal ... so you accepted.

initially, franco's in-person flirting was just as blatant as his online persona. he had no issue making rather suggestive comments or looking at you like you'd hung all the stars in the sky. yet, when he made absolutely no headway with you, he decided to ask around. the other drivers–shameless gossips as they were–knew much of the issues with your previous relationship. george even offered to design a powerpoint presentation for franco, which the drivers just barely managed to avoid through their combined efforts.

it all made sense.

all at once, franco stopped flirting with interviewers, teammates, fans, and celebrities of all disciplines. if dedication was what he needed to prove to you he was serious, then by god you'd get it.

he was lucky alpine had given you an almost season-pass to join them at any race. what could you say? formula one was addictive. but it gave franco plenty of time to redeem himself and show you all the many ways he was better than your ex.

towards the end of the season, you finally agreed to go out with him. franco was so excited he would yap to anyone in the paddock who would listen. and even if they wouldn't he'd follow them around with a silly grin on his face. he'd done it! he was allowed to be happy.

there wasn't much left for you to explain. the rumours, the proof, the revolving door of flings your ex had were all very much out in the open for your entire relationship. you were just unfortunate enough to be blinded by rose-coloured glasses. nevertheless, you gave franco more detail about how you found out than you had ever given anyone else.

you were just glad you'd found someone who'd never put you through it again.

[askagamedev]

A follow up to your answer about veilguard (was really hoping you would touch on that one). Why do game companies that have a “bad” release always seem to start from the bottom of the pyramid when it comes to restructuring and recouping losses? Why fire low level devs who did their best with what they had, when the companies have people in senior positions making hundreds of thousands of dollars (if not more) that they could just cut from? Why do the trenches always get the punishment first?

The short answer is because shit rolls downhill. For a longer and more nuanced answer, there's multiple factors to consider.

The main issue is that the company is trying to cut costs immediately. This is usually for two major reasons:

Reassure investors to keep them from dumping the stock and driving down the company's value

Save as much money as they can from their current stockpile for other projects still in development.

If the company goes under because it can't make payroll company-wide, everybody is doomed regardless. A gecko will sacrifice its tail in order to escape with its life. A crab will tear its own claw off to survive. A company will always cut staff to keep itself afloat.

The next factor is that each major experience level up a dev attains tends to be a geometric difference in productivity. [A large task that would take a junior dev two months to complete might take a mid-level dev one month and a senior dev only a week or two]. This is why senior devs are entrusted with the bigger and more critical tasks. Further, the typical quality of work that a senior dev produces is much higher than what you'd get from a mid-level or a junior. I'm a senior dev and I cost the team a large amount of money to keep, but paying for just me is still significantly cheaper than paying a pair of mid-level designers or three/four juniors.

The next factor is that most big layoffs come after a project has shipped. This is because a given project is at its maximum headcount right before it ships - you need all hands on deck during full production, building and validating all of the content in the game. There needs to be other projects in development to pay for those people after the game launches. If the game launches well, a significant portion of the team can stay on to do post-launch content and the others can join in-progress projects at the studio or at other studios owned by the publisher. In the case of a bad launch the post-launch content gets cancelled because there just aren't enough players to make building the post-launch content financially viable and the people who were supposed to build it have no new project to pay for their salaries.

There's also the factor of how projects have different needs at different times. You always need a core team to get a project off the ground - engineering who can put together the foundations of the game, design that can prototype and build core gameplay, art that can establish a new visual standard for a new game. But you likely don't need an army of designers to build content for a game that doesn't have any core gameplay yet, gameplay engineers to flesh out systems that haven't been designed yet, artists to model and skin characters that haven't been concepted yet, or QA to test content that hasn't been built yet. You need those folks when you're in production and all of the groundwork has been laid.

These are the nominal reasons why job cuts always start from the bottom - the juniors and mid-levels have the least to do when a game gets cancelled or a bad launch happens and the cost to keep them all adds up significantly. The fact that it also shields decisionmakers and middle managers is, of course, also in there. This is also why I never offer or expect loyalty to or from an employer, especially a large publicly-traded one. They will never sacrifice their own survival (or even advantage) to keep me, so I should never expect more than a business relationship from them that could end at any time.

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